


Ichidaiji

by plutorine



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/M, Fanfiction, Fluff and Humor, Japanese Character(s), Light Angst, Mentioned Ushijima Wakatoshi, Mutual Pining, Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, POV Original Female Character, Platonic Soulmates, Romantic Soulmates, Slow Burn, Songfic, Tsukishima Kei Being Tsukishima Kei, Tsukishima Kei is Bad at Feelings, kinda canon compliant but not really, no beta we die like men, what the hell is pacing anyway
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:14:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 46,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25528768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plutorine/pseuds/plutorine
Summary: 日本語: 一大事 (ichidaiji)→ a serious affair; the most important thing→ inspired by/loosely based on the lyrics of Polkadot Stingray'sICHIDAIJIandthissoulmate AU listIn a world where everyone is connected by the physics of sound, Shizuku finds herself closing in on the last significant one she had yet to hear, and so does Tsukishima.
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Original Female Character(s), Yachi Hitoka/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 18
Kudos: 67





	1. Nothing but Rain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs mentioned in this chapter:
> 
> [Chara - Kataomoi](https://youtu.be/s9GkWPpPx_k)  
> [SNSD - Mr. Taxi](https://youtu.be/Fzr2Nv8NTEE)

_Spring Interhigh_

A low, continuous hum could be heard along with the soft chattering of the team members of Niiyama Volleyball Club, all of them ecstatic to step out into the city of Tokyo to compete in this year’s tournament. Shizuku glanced at Ichika, a fellow first year, who was peacefully snoring away with her head against the reclined backrest. She envied her friend's innate talent of being able to sleep anywhere she found comfortable — compared to her, Shizuku always had trouble with dozing off in cold places — air conditioned rooms, trains — and this bus was of no difference. Shizuku looked up and glared at the culprit of her plight. She stood up just a fraction of a second to nudge the wretched fan towards Ichika instead. Judging by her friend's shift in position, she might have found the sudden decrease in temperature to be more comfortable, even. 

At the beginning of the ride, both of them had been happily exchanging their small itineraries planned for when they reach Tokyo, as chances like these rarely happen when they get to venture out Miyagi, the prefecture which they represented for the girls’ division. Considering that they were first years, being picked as part of the starting lineup was no minor feat at all, and held more expectational weight which might even come close to that of a senior member of their team. Niiyama Joshi had been crowned with a good reputation among the female high school bracket participants, so much so that they were automatically exempted from the first round in the Nationals. 

Shizuku resigned to gaze outside the window for the remaining travel time, knowing that Ichika wasn’t going to wake up any time soon. She plugged in her earphones and hit shuffle on the playlist she had been curating specifically for this trip, slotting her phone back in her pocket and resting her chin on her palm. Today, her ears were graced first by Chara’s _Kataomoi_ — a song that she and Ichika had discovered a few months ago while having an anime marathon. 

In this world they lived in where everyone was bound by the physics of sound, Shizuku had already deduced one irredeemable fact: that the soulmate system itself, as enchanting as it was made to sound, was still unfair as any man-made one. This was the same thought that crossed Shizuku’s mind when that prior statement proved to not be ultimately true the day she and Ichika had made the discovery themselves. The two of them were disjointedly connected — Shizuku could hear what Ichika would be listening to, but it would not, and would never work the other way around. 

Despite this, they chose to be friends. They cared not about their flawed connection even if they both knew that they were destined to grow apart; that they were still going to be separated no matter the kind of bond they built in their younger years. Shizuku believed that choosing to stay with Ichika for however long the time they were permitted with would be far better than letting some invisible force separate them from each other. 

It wasn’t like the two of them were the lone cases anyway — there were plenty of others who didn’t follow the predetermined design — some have either cheated, never bothered to follow the sound, or, with time, soon found out that they were not exactly good for each other. 

Shizuku could still remember the day her grandmother Ryoko sat her down to explain everything to her the day she told her about the case with Ichika. Their talk only made the conditions more outrageous than Shizuku had previously imagined them to be. Ryoko gave her a detailed lecture that the sound she had to look out for would have to be loudest of them all; the most distinct, the most clear. 

Even after learning such from Ryoko, finding the “most distinct sound” wasn’t exactly something Shizuku had dreamt of accomplishing. Juggling both her responsibilities in school and in volleyball was already a chore to begin with — being part of a college preparatory class and playing as the middle blocker in their volleyball team — but the thought of wanting to finally hear even just a faint melody would always sit at a random corner in her mind, bugging her day to day routine whenever it got the chance to, like an ever-present mark embedded on the walls of her head. 

Morning runs with Ichika around their neighborhood were chances for Shizuku to ponder about her soulmate’s whereabouts. She’d have her earphones playing music as they jogged down the empty streets, her eyes flickering at the houses they passed by as she hoped that she had already passed by theirs — if they lived in the same town, that is. For all she knew, they might as well be living somewhere far, in places like Tokyo or in her grandparents’ hometown, Hyogo. Shizuku didn’t even know if she would ever be ready for a long-distance relationship.

But like her grandmother had said, all things reveal themselves in time.

On a small sojourn she and Ichika took around the streets of Miyagi after school, they wound up cycling around the vicinity of another one quite far from theirs. They both didn’t know this one, having only been acquainted with the Aoba Johsai and Shiratorizawa girls’ volleyball club on a number of practice games they accepted every now and then.

Students were already dismissed as they exited in groups, halting Shizuku and Ichika on their bikes as they tried to recognize the uniforms. They waited for the crowd to pass until the path was clear again before turning around the farthest corner. 

Then, Shizuku heard something. She instinctively pressed on the brakes, her body jolting forward from the abrupt pause of momentum. Ichika did the same, peering into her friend’s face to gauge what was happening. For a while they stayed like that, bathed under the orange sky brought by the afternoon sun with their feet planted firmly on the ground. 

Tapping her heel against the concrete, Ichika gave in to her growing impatience. 

“What, did you forget to clean-”

Shizuku shushed her in an instant and put a finger on her lips. 

It was a song. The melody and vocals were faint, and Shizuku couldn’t register what the words were in her head, not when she was starting to decide whether to silence her friend’s incessant tapping behind her.

Then it grew louder.

And louder.

And louder.

Everything happened in a flash — Shizuku wordlessly abandoned her bike on the side of the fence, sprinting towards the nearest entrance that led to the back of a gymnasium. Ichika followed suit and didn't bother asking questions as soon as Shizuku disappeared from her sight, knowing what her sudden actions meant. 

Shizuku had her back pressed against a wall as she tried to catch her breath, which only proved to be futile as her heart hammered in her chest nonstop. Nearing footsteps accompanied the loudening song, along with a conversation whose topic she could barely make out. She felt overwhelmed — nauseous, even. It was frustrating to not be able to get out of their hiding spot and know who the person on the other side was, because for that, she and Ichika needed to risk being caught. She knew she couldn’t, and that made it all the more infuriating.

The volume finally reached its loudest when the footsteps stopped. 

“Ah, I forgot my knee pads.” 

Shizuku’s eyes widened. That was their voice — _his_ , if she was gauging the tone. It was soft and low ; boyish yet flat, leaning towards monotonous, even. Some part of Shizuku was helplessly telling her subconscious to ingrain it in her memories, but right now, she couldn’t seem to do such a thing.

The two weren’t able to linger around any longer upon hearing more voices approach them, and frankly, Shizuku didn’t know if she was ready to meet him or not. They found themselves quietly circling the building, going back to where they haphazardly left their bikes, and pedaling back home as soon as they got on.

That was it. After that, there was nothing again. 

Shizuku was promptly robbed of the chance to come across that person again, and the half-hearted experience only subjected her to be plagued by the ever-growing desire to grab hold of the opportunity one more time. Her other teammates who got to learn of her unfortunate tale on the other hand found it fit to guess which school it was that she and Ichika had (trespassed) wandered off to: Date Tech, Johzenji, Wakutani — they all didn’t ring a bell. 

Far too immersed in her thoughts, Shizuku failed to notice that Ichika was awake until she leaned against her shoulder, laughing quietly when she jumped at the contact. She took off an earbud and blinked at her.

“What’re you listening to?” Ichika yawned.

Shizuku pressed the power button of her phone to check the song. She held up the device to her drowsy friend. “It went to _Mr. Taxi_ just now.” 

“Shoujo Jidai? Don’t tell me you’re gonna study Korean now.”

Shizuku pursed her lips. “Maybe. I don’t know. You’re the one giving me ideas.”

The hiss of the bus doors opening suddenly tore through their conversation. Shizuku looked up to see that they were momentarily stopped in front of a high-rise building — quite possibly the reservation that had been booked for them to accommodate them within their stay in Tokyo. Ichika muttered an expletive under her breath when their captain announced that they had arrived, standing up with Shizuku to get their things from the overhead compartment.

Upon stepping outside, the team gathered in a messy two-line formation as they walked towards the entrance of the building. A cluster of black jersey jackets with the same prefecture name printed on the back caught Shizuku’s attention. Their group stood in front of an inn just in the next corner. Shizuku immediately averted her eyes when she thought she had made eye contact with one of the tallest members.

* * *

The entrance hall buzzed with lively voices, an array of team colors seemingly looking like a sea of tags that represented high schools from all over the country. Shizuku fiddled with the hem of her shorts, tugging on it slightly as their team weaved through the crowd. There were a few who glanced and turned their way as they walked by, not passing up the chance to whisper something about who they were. The attention was surely something Shizuku had to get used to.

Their team halted temporarily at an unoccupied space in the lobby; something about their manager having to coordinate something important for a while. Shizuku took this chance to shrug on her jacket again, uncomfortable with the surrounding eyes attracted to their group. She leaned against one of the columns, softly humming along to a Girl’s Generation song she had been listening to when she got dressed earlier. Her eyes were trained on the ceiling as she patiently waited to be prompted once the affairs were done. 

Ichika tapped her shoulder. “Someone nearly crashed into Amanai- _senpai_ ,” she pointed to where their senior was. “...nearly crashed into her chest, more like.” 

Kanoka was currently holding a shorter guy by their underarms, a look of subtle worry written all over her face. She was asking him something that the two of them couldn’t catch.

The guy in question was Nishinoya Yuu — the famed libero from Chidoriyama. Judging from the colors of his jersey, he must be attending Karasuno. Shizuku figured that it must have been them whom she saw outside the building. She had to admit that she expected Shiratorizawa to be their counterpart in representing Miyagi, but it turned out that the goddess of luck finally smiled upon the fallen crows and they managed to snatch that opportunity away from such a powerhouse of a school. 

It was nice to see new faces in the lobby every once in a while, anyway.

“Do you think it was on purpose?” Shizuku grimaced while eyeing the scene in front of them. 

Ichika shook her head. “That number 10 bumped into him. What a relief she caught him before…”

Her friend’s voice seemed to trail off when Shizuku became more sensitive towards her surroundings.

Had Ichika not called her attention, She wouldn’t be aware that _he_ was also here. There was no song — just a faint pattering of rain and wind — most likely a track made for meditation or winding down. 

Shizuku searched for him among the crowd, looking for something to affirm her doubt. There were a lot of players who were wearing some sort of hearing device in and over their ears, making the distinguishing more difficult than it already was for her. She stood still, eyes darting from person to person as she searched for the possible source of the sound. Unfortunately, even after a few other tries, she was forced to give up when their captain called their attention to start lining up and get ready for the opening ceremony. 

Ichika studied her face. “Nerves getting to you again?”

Shizuku laughed and adjusted the strap of her bag over her shoulder, giving Ichika a dismissive ‘nah’ as she found her spot in the line.

She did feel someone eyeing her from afar, however.


	2. Long Shot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this au, Tsukki and Shizuku are studying in Tokyo University, and Yams is in Waseda. Figured I'd say it beforehand to avoid any confusion :)
> 
> ALSO! While I am a college student, I am not based in Japan nor am I familiar with the inner workings of a Japanese university—the details here are merely a mesh of what I find/watch/read online and the occasional blend of fiction.
> 
> ***Spoilers for Kafka on the Shore at paragraph starting with "How could..."***

_Present Time_

His eyes were fixed on the ball, not once leaving its shape as he followed it with his gaze. Shouts of instructions were heard from the opposite side from the net, feet frantically moving across the floor in a calculated plan of connecting their individual maneuvers. He exhaled slowly, steadying himself and glancing at both his teammates to prompt them to jump at his counting.

_One._

_Two._

_Three._

Tsukishima leaped upwards, arms curved forward to stop the momentum of the ball being hit towards their side of the court. He bit back a wince when it made contact with his skin, subtly reminding him that his tolerance was nearing its end. 

The ball instantly landed on the opponents’ court with as much force as it had been given when it was spiked. A whistle concluded the play, ending with 25 to 23 as the final scores. Tsukishima nodded at his teammates as a gesture of letting them know that they did a good job at today’s practice match. The members scattered throughout the gym, shoes sauntering across the shiny wooden floor towards their designated spots. 

Sitting down with his legs stretched, Tsukishima slowly undid the bandage he fixed around his ring and middle finger, extending them out slightly to relieve the tension. He cooled down for a bit before reaching inside the pocket of his gym bag to check if he had any unread messages.

There was one from Yamaguchi—he was in town and wanted to catch up with him. Tsukishima unlocked his phone and proceeded to type a reply, saying that he could manage a couple of hours before returning to the dorms. 

Kyoutani sat beside him. He was chugging down a bottle of _Pocari_.

“Girlfriend?” He teased. 

Without taking his eyes off the screen, Tsukishima huffed out a smirk. “ _ばか_ ,”* He hit send and shoved his phone back in his bag. “Yamaguchi is the one who _actually has_ a girlfriend.”

“Hitoka...right?” Kyoutani cocks his head to the side.

He nodded. “I’ll be out for a bit. Do we need anything back in the dorms?”

“Eggs, I think. We’re starting to get low on milk, too.”

Tsukishima hummed out a response and stood up, hooking the strap of the bag over his shoulder and headed to the locker room. After changing and freshening up, he checked where he and Yamaguchi were supposed to meet once again before putting on his headphones and exiting the gym.

* * *

Shibuya was as lively as ever, filled with towering buildings with bright, iridescent screens and signs that seemed to come alive when night time came, people coming and going inside the shops and through the stands. Most of them were businessmen winding down from a long day of work with their colleagues, but there were also some who were around their age. 

Yamaguchi had invited him to an _izakaya*_ , much to Tsukishima’s surprise. It had been a few months since they last caught up with each other, given that Yamaguchi was studying way over in Shinjuku and could not always come by. They only ever video called whenever the both of them weren’t too busy. 

Tsukishima winced at the first sip of his beer, putting it back down to mask the burn with a helping of _eihire*_. He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, resting his chin on his fist and turning to face Yamaguchi who was currently going on about being upset with the academic workload he had as an engineering major, his voice blending in with the other people who were also dining in the establishment. 

“Just think about how winter break is fast approaching. That’s how I get by,” Tsukishima huffed out a small grin, musing about how he also felt the same way. Even though college was supposed to be a "four-year spring break", succumbing to revel-filled nights was the least of Tsukishima's priorities as a senior. 

Yamaguchi chuckled, taking a swig of his own drink. He paused for a while before asking Tsukishima a question.

“Say, Tsukki,” 

Tsukishima perked up at the sound of the nickname. He raised an eyebrow at Yamaguchi.

“Have you heard from them yet?”

“Who, my parents?” He smirked. “I hear from them at least four times a week.”

“No, no, I meant,” Yamaguchi motioned to his ear, pointing at it. “Music. Soulmate.”

Tsukishima let out a flat “ah”, as he lightly massaged his temple. The alcohol was starting to get to him.

He didn’t exactly hate the idea of having a soulmate, nor did it bother him. It was just too... _strange_ to think about how there was already someone predestined to be with you for the rest of your life, without necessarily being present or near to get the opportunity to get to know who you are. 

Tsukishima didn’t mind not being able to meet them yet because he simply wouldn’t know what to do if he does get to see them face to face. He was never really good at that—the number people he could stand in university were less than the fingers on his hand—the rest, he made sure to keep a healthy distance from. 

Although, this whole soulmate thing always managed to raise a few questions in his mind. What if they were already taken? What if he meets them and it turns out that they don’t like him?

Tsukishima knew he wasn’t the easiest person to get along with, more so if you were the type to be obnoxiously loud and disrespectful of boundaries (he doesn’t know why his brain is hardwired to see momentary flashes of a certain Hinata Shouyou back in high school whenever he thinks about rowdy behavior).

He just couldn’t see himself with _just anyone_. If this _was_ real, he hoped he wouldn’t be sentenced to deal with someone who would wear him out for the rest of his days. Maybe then he would actually consider believing in such a thing.

Truth is, ever since Tsukishima moved to Tokyo for college, the music seemed to have made itself known to him in an instant. Back when he was still living in Miyagi, there was nothing—just complete and utter silence—however, the situation he was in had now done a total 180 from what it originally was before.

“Unfortunately, yes,” Tsukishima pushed his glasses up again. “I hear music every night and it’s sort of...annoying.”

“If that’s the case,” Yamaguchi popped an _edamame_ in his mouth, eyes focused somewhere distant. “That person is probably studying in _Todai_ ***** —maybe they’re even in the same dormitory you’re in.”

“Probably,” He echoed. “But it’s not like I can just go around knocking on people’s doors asking who the hell is listening to Japanese trap at the ass crack of dawn.”

Yamaguchi laughed. 

“Don’t you want to meet them soon, at least?”

Tsukishima merely shrugged, breathing out a small smile as he reached for his drinking, gulping down half of it. 

* * *

It was already eleven when he got back. Tsukishima suspected that Kyoutani had already gone to bed since the room was quiet. He set down the grocery bag and emptied out its contents, placing them in their designated areas in the fridge. He thought about what to have for breakfast that could subdue his impending hangover.

Yawning, Tsukishima padded down the short hallway to the bathroom for a long, warm shower, feeling a growing headache from all the alcohol he consumed. Tomorrow was a Saturday anyway. He could sleep in as long as he wanted. 

Tsukishima slumped on his bed once he got dressed, pulling the covers over himself as he turned off the light. The faint LED light of the humidifier on the bedside table cast a soft blue glow all over the dim space. 

_Just like any other night, with this far distance,_

_I want to see you but I can’t; you’re somewhere in my mind_

He turned and laid still on his side, recognizing a melody that sounded like it was coming from a nearby source. _He knew this song_. He could feel his heart beating a bit faster than usual against his chest at every note and line that flowed in a constant, soothing volume, as if it was being played right here, in his room. The voice of the singer echoed in his head as she sang out the first verse.

_Is this starry night amiss, I wonder?_

_Are you thinking the same way I am?_

Tsukishima didn’t know why he was reacting this way. He barely knew who it was on the other end, and yet, it still felt as if this persistent sensation of yearning seemed to engulf him every time he would hear the song they were listening to. He wanted to deny that small voice in his head telling him to get a move on and actually find out who they were.

Soon, Tsukishima gave in to the heaviness of his eyelids, his consciousness drifting along to the gentle tune as it lulled him to sleep.

* * *

Monday came as if the weekend didn’t exist. Tsukishima was currently in the general library burying his nose into Murakami’s _Kafka on the Shore_ as preparation for his next class. As much as he enjoyed reading, this book was on of the most confusing pieces of literature that he still couldn’t seem to wrap his head around. 

How could a fifteen-year-old boy, who was nearly seven hundred kilometers away from Tokyo, kill his father in cold blood? Was it even possible to have intercourse with a literal apparition?

Tsukishima continued despite his lingering confusion, writing down annotations and notes on passages he found to be crucial to the central plot. There was no way he was failing this class—even if he was a biology major, he would most certainly not allow himself to flunk an elective class in Japanese literature.

After having plowed through Oshima’s dialogue with Kafka, Tsukishima let out a quiet sigh and removed his headphones, taking his time to rest for a short while before going back to the story. Just as he was starting to wind down, he began to hear music—this time it was more distinct, as if the person listening to it was right beside him. Tsukishima’s eyes darted from student to student, looking to see if there was anyone who was wearing anything in or over their ears.

He tutted when he saw no one and frowned as he shook his head at the futility of his actions, the music still ringing in his head as clear as day, yet its listener unable to be detected by sight. Tsukishima didn’t know the song either, and it was almost driving him mad. Right now, his sense of urgency to find out who it was was as lethargic and unwilling as a teenager deprived of coffee.

When his wristwatch read quarter to ten, he stood up, gathering his things as he whispered a silent prayer that his knowledge about the book was sufficient for the next class he was about to attend.

A part of him assured him not to worry, however. Tsukishima knew there was someone else he had been acquainted with that could possibly save his ass, should Professor Okada start calling students randomly to answer her questions.

Sure enough, when he got there she was already in her usual spot, in the second highest row of the lecture hall. Tsukishima always wondered why she routinely chose to sit there. Students who were the least confident in their class performance usually opted for seats in the room around this area. Her choice of seat was certainly contrary to her abilities.

He wordlessly took the space beside her, maintaining a healthy distance. He felt her look away from her laptop screen the moment he sat down.

“This is a surprise.” Shizuku teased, raising a brow at him.

Tsukishima huffed out a small smirk. “Don’t misunderstand it. I read the chapters.”

The lights dimmed. Professor Okada was already setting up her presentation up front.

“If you can explain why Kafka was responsible for his father’s death, I’ll believe you.”

“Bet.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * ばか (baka) - may mean "stupid"/ "idiot",, pretty self-explanatory  
> * izakaya - a Japanese bar  
> * eihire - flavored stingray fin dish—goes really well with beer  
> *Todai - a shortened form of "Tokyo Daigaku" (Tokyo University)
> 
> *the italicized lyrics are from Ai Otsuka's Kurage, Nagareboshi (クラゲ、流れ星); my Japanese is not that good so i had to check jpop asia and a few other sites (lyricsmode, animelyrics.com) so i can provide a cohesive translation :)


	3. Murakami and Grape Fanta

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> t/w: mentions of killing, slight profanity
> 
> I referenced a few chapters from the book Kafka on the Shore, as well as a scene in the Japanese movie Confessions.

Dayglow’s _Can I Call You Tonight?_ enveloped Shizuku’s ears as she flipped through the pages of the book she cradled in her lap, her fingers dragging across the printed letters as she checked whether it contained information she could jot down later. A yawn escaped past her lips as she finished the last paragraph. She took out a pen and began to fill up the book card. 

Shizuku sipped on her coffee beside her, knowing that she needed to stay awake for her next class. It wasn't like sleeping during lectures and cutting classes was strictly prohibited — she knew very well that she could if she wanted to — because most of the professors wouldn't even bat an eye at the students who had their heads buried in their arms while they went on about the discussion, or publicly call out the names of those who haven't been attending class for more than three times a row. 

Heck, you could even pass a class by just showing up on the day of the exam, and you wouldn’t get flak for it.

Professor Okada — her Japanese literature professor — was a different breed, to say the least. She might as well have a doctoral degree in passive aggressiveness. Okada demanded nothing but utmost respect from her students, and never once hesitated to purposely pick out those who habitually snoozed through the first ten minutes of the period to roast them when it was time to ask questions about the material she had them read.

Since the start of senior year, the class had already established an unspoken rule that prohibited them from ever mentioning that one session about _The Tale of Genji_. 

Shizuku couldn't blame them, however, because no matter how intelligent and well-versed Professor Okada was in her subject, her efforts of keeping the class awake was futile. The woman had the voice of an ASMRtist — one that could easily lull someone to sleep if she used the right set of words during an hour-and-a-half long lecture. Shizuku was willing to bet five hundred yen that Okada would have been a successful content creator if she ever chose to go on that side of YouTube.

She tucked her earphones in her bag pocket and stood up from between the two wooden bookshelves where she was situated, walking over to the librarian to get the book checked out. She glanced at her watch. Thirty minutes left until Japanese literature starts. Shizuku thanked Miss Komura as she handed her the book, finally exiting the building to make a beeline to Professor Okada’s class.

There was a small sigh of relief that escaped her lips when she saw that her usual spot was still vacant. Shizuku eased into the seat and set her things in front of her. She opened her laptop to make quick notes from the chapters she read a few days ago — 9, 12, 23, and 27, respectively — as part of the requirements of their next discussion where they will be tackling Murakami’s _Kafka on the Shore_. 

Shizuku had been reading Murakami’s works since the start of high school after Ichika unknowingly influenced her when she dragged her along to the bookstore. Now she’s already halfway into _Norwegian Wood_.

The lecture hall gradually became more and more occupied as the hour progressed. Voices filled the space as the students shuffled about to find a seat, their steps resounding on the hardwood floor. Shizuku’s fingers that darted from key to key came to a stop when she felt someone take the spot on her right. 

“This is a surprise,” She narrowed her eyes at a certain blond who just arrived before the clock read ten. 

Tsukishima Kei was introduced to her by Yachi on that day they bumped into each other at the train station while on their way to one of their circle's invites to Shibuya on the first week of senior year. He was tall, broad-shouldered, and had the most deadpan yet vaguely judging look in his honey eyes that burned itself in Shizuku's memory the moment she stuck out her arm for a handshake. It was after finding out that they shared a class for the whole second semester that Shizuku knew she had to get used to Tsukishima’s lukewarm reactions and greetings by the hallway.

Shizuku watched him set his things in his seat, her mind still digging through what could have possibly led him to sit next to her this morning. 

“Don’t misunderstand it,” Tsukishima smirked. “I read the chapters.”

The lights dimmed and Professor Okada stood on the small stage near the board, waiting for everyone to settle down.

Shizuku leaned a bit towards him, her eyes not leaving the title slide projected in front of them. “If you can explain why Kafka was responsible for his father’s death, I’ll believe you.”

“Bet.”

Almost everyone's attention was hooked by the time they jumped onto the soulmates topic. Shizuku expected for this to happen, considering how the assigned chapters were very much parallel to the whole fate and destiny idea. She had her chin rested on her palm throughout the discussion, the opened file in her laptop gradually growing devoid of notes as the topic pressed on. 

Tsukishima did get called on at one point of the discussion, but he effortlessly escaped the jaws of Professor Okada's relentless battery of questions as if he had the whole book mastered in his head. To Shizuku, his facade was nothing but a display of faked bravado. Anyone who has gone through Japanese literature under Professor Okada was bound to eventually memorize the method of avoiding any follow up questions.

But God, that shit-eating grin Tsukishima gave her when he sat down was starting to get on her nerves.

“But what about this ‘prophecy’ that Kafka is always mentioning? I also noticed there were hardly any accounts in the book that could solidify it being real.” Yuichi briefly raised his hand to offer his thoughts about the current subject. 

“That is the central point of the book,” Professor Okada answered. “Murakami asserts that the characters’ belief in their imagined fates _is_ what makes them real. For Kafka, he has already molded his actions according to the prophecy he believed to be what shaped his current existence.”

Another student raised their hand. It was Nanami. Shizuku had been partnered with her once on a paper about one of Akutagawa Ryūnosuke’s works.

“What about Miss Saeki? Is she and Kafka really soulmates?”

Shizuku rested her chin on her palm as she waited for Professor Okada’s response. 

“If you’ve read further than what I prescribed, which I doubt some of you had,” There was a low, quiet ring of laughter in the hall. “You would know that Miss Saeki was extremely devastated by her loss. Again, if we reference the _Tale of Genji_ , one’s soul could be driven by a motive that can push oneself to fulfill it, even in death, so, combined with the fact that she believes that she and Kafka were truly destined to be with one another — that would be her soul’s motive.”

“So it’s a self-fulfilling thing, then.” Shizuku added, sensing pairs of eyes looking at her. “In a sense, that kind of states that you and your soulmate are codependent on each other.”

“Correct.” Professor Okada leaned against the desk. She gave her student a look. 

“Do you believe in soulmates, Miss Ishikawa?”

The hall fell silent. 

“I don’t want to.” Shizuku answered as-a-matter-of-factly, her voice echoing in the room. She knew this was a bold response, given the knowledge that everyone in this room had about the world they lived in. Despite it, she chose not to lie. 

“If I put it in Kafka’s words, I’m forced to believe in such a thing, much more live according to it.”

Professor Okada nodded. 

“Alright. I just hope you don’t have to see an apparition of your soulmate in the dorms when the time comes.”

Shizuku laughed along with the class, shaking her head at the thought.

“I pictured you more to be the sappy romantic kind,” Tsukishima snickered as they walked out of the lecture hall. “Not believing in soulmates — who knew people like you exist.”

Shizuku rolled her eyes, picking up on the obvious sarcasm. 

“Just because I have read a few of Murakami’s works doesn’t necessarily mean I _am_ one, and yes, people like me _do_ exist.”

“I’m more of a non-fiction reader. A realist.” He replied.

“Yeah, I thought so.”

“The next book we’re going to read — that was Sōseki Natsume’s, correct?” Tsukishima pulled out his phone to make a quick note. They stopped at the side to let the other students pass.

“Yeah, _I Am a Cat_. I hope you like anecdotes.”

He ignored Shizuku’s quip, mumbling to himself as he typed down the title. He slid it back in his coat pocket when he was done. “Let’s see if this cat can amuse me.”

“Oh, it will.” Shizuku looked at her schedule, then back to Tsukishima. “I’m having lunch with Yachi and Koganegawa. Wanna join?”

Tsukishima held up a hand as a response. “I’ll pass. I still have general biology after this.”

“Cool. See you around.”

“Alright.”

Shizuku turned, not sparing him another glance as she weaved through the crowd of students.

Koganegawa leaned over his table as if he was about to tell an unbelievable tale. “In the end, he kills the girl with a sledgehammer.”

“You just spoiled the movie.” Shizuku sighed.

Yachi had a horrified look on her face. “He _what_? I thought they would end up together.”

Shizuku could practically feel the disappointment in her friend’s voice. She finished up the last of her miso soup. “Yeah, no — two unhinged teenagers don’t really go well with each other.”

“But he did have a...what’s that again? The ‘complex’ thing?”

“An Oedipus complex. That’s why he killed the girl when she confronted him.”

“That part’s nasty.” Koganegawa grimaced. “I can’t imagine having that sort of thing. Fuck Freud.”

“Yeah, like what the fuck is ‘penis envy’? Bitch, I’ll kill you.”

“He’s already dead, though.” Yachi said.

Shizuku laughed, lifting a piece of tempura to her lips. “I don’t care, I’ll kill him again.”

Their laughter was cut short when a notification bell came from Yachi’s phone.

“Is it Tadashi?” Shizuku raised a brow at her roommate.

“No, actually-” Yachi unlocked her device and showed the message to everyone at the table. “It’s Hinata — he’s coming home next week.”

“Hinata? As in _the_ Hinata Shōyō? The one joining the national team?” Shizuku interjected.

“There’s only one Hinata.” Koganegawa answered, his voice in an awed, dramatic whisper.

“He’ll be resting for a few weeks. He said he wanted to catch up while he’s here.”

"I have seen him before," Shizuku mused out loud. "In the MSBY Black Jackals versus Schweiden Adlers match. Only on TV, though."

Yachi smiled. "You had an exam."

"And _shinkansen_ tickets are worth my weekly allowance."

"You used to play volleyball before, right?" Koganegawa's eyes flickered at her as he forked through his katsudon. 

"Niiyama Joshi, yeah." Shizuku nodded. 

"Why'd you never continue?"

She smiled thinly. "A change of perspective, I guess."

* * *

Shizuku suddenly had the urge to leave her dorm room that night, cursing under breath when she finally caved in to her craving for a drink in the middle of her study period — a cold, grape Fanta to be exact. Rubbing her eyes, she looked at the digital clock on her desk. Eleven-thirty in bright red.

She bookmarked the page she was on before standing up, briefly leaving her progress through her readings. There was a vending machine downstairs, and if she were lucky, the drink might still be in stock. Shizuku poked her head through the opened door of Yachi’s room to inform her that she was going out for a while.

The hallway was pindrop silent as usual, and the only thing she could hear were her sneakers against the tiled floor which she haphazardly put on before leaving their dorm room, her heels pressed on the collars. 

No one was out on the second floor, either. Shizuku hummed out the chorus of the song she was listening to while studying. She stopped to let out a quiet “yes” when she saw the purple can on one of the rows. Shizuku pressed on the corresponding button and inserted a few coins in the slot to confirm her purchase.

Amidst the rumbling of the machine, Shizuku heard a faint melody near her. Her ears perked at the sound, suddenly becoming highly sensitive to her surroundings. She looked around to see if there was anyone approaching at the end of the hall. The song was too soft to be distinguished, but it was there.

Then, as if the source was caught, it stopped. Her drink rolled down to the pick up box. Shizuku was met with silence again. 

The door to her right swung open. Tsukishima was standing by the doorway, a black plastic bag in his hand. The two of them stared at each other for a couple of seconds. Shizuku broke away first. She grabbed the cold can from the bin.

“You’ll wreck your shoes if you wear them like that.”

She heard Tsukishima say, his footsteps growing distant as he walked down the corridor.


	4. Overdrive (I)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukishima comes close to finding out who his soulmate is, but not quite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> t/w: slight profanity
> 
> Song featured in this chapter: 
> 
> [Polkadot Stingray - Telecaster Stripe](https://youtu.be/3ad4NsEy1tg)

There was a quiet, mechanical hum outside the door, halting Tsukishima in his steps. He paused the song and took off his headphones, setting them somewhere safe before peeking through the viewer to determine who it was by the vending machine at such a late hour. 

It was Shizuku. Her hair was pulled back in two messy buns, obviously not caring about her appearance as she waited for whatever it was that she bought to roll down the pick up box. Tsukishima shrugged and turned the knob, wanting to just throw away the garbage bag from the bin in his room and get it over with.

Shizuku turned to look at him just as he emerged from the door. A sound of a can hitting the box could be heard within the empty corridor. Tsukishima noticed her heels pressing on the collars of her shoes. He grimaced. Shizuku had already averted her gaze.

"You'll wreck your shoes if you wear them like that." Tsukishima informed, not sparing her another glance as he walked down the hallway.

Truth is, the only reason why he was up was because of the music that kept on ringing in his head. Volleyball practice was extra physically demanding today and all Tsukishima wanted was some peace and quiet, but the incessant vocals of whoever it was that his soulmate was listening to wasn't what he needed for the time being. He put on his headphones and entertained the idea of cleaning his desk to drown the song ringing in his head.

The sound disappeared just as he finished tying off the knot of the plastic bag. Tsukishima let out a sigh of relief, went to dispose of the trash and that’s when he saw Shizuku outside, crouched down by the vending machine. 

On the walk back, he can't help but think about the small possibility of it being coincidental that Shizuku was right by the vending machine just a few moments after he heard the music stopped. Tsukishima quickly dismissed it. He had no business wondering about her night cravings. 

The next day, Tsukishima heard music again, exactly after he took off his headphones. He tapped the end of his pen on the open textbook pensively, glancing out the window as he wrung out an idea that he never imagined he would decide on carrying out. Tsukishima clicked his tongue and got up from his chair, abandoning the mind-numbing chapter on DNA sequencing and rushed out of the room.

If Yamaguchi was right about his soulmate being in the same dormitory, Tsukishima had to find out in some way. He planned to buy something from the vending machine to not seem too suspicious once he ventures along theirs and the first floor, then, if the volume doesn't go up, he would try the next and so on. Tsukishima was well aware he was in a disadvantageous position. He should have been mapping out his soulmate’s listening patterns the moment he started hearing them, but now he was playing a one-man hide and seek with whoever it was on the other side.

The cold matcha drink slowly drenched his hand as he walked down both halls, his senses attuned for any change in volume. He was careful as he listened closely to determine whether there was some progress in his mission. There was a particular room he went by that he wished he shouldn’t have, however — the dorms had paper thin walls and nothing goes unheard, including obscene things that he didn’t want to decipher.

Tsukishima uncapped the bottle, taking a long frustrated sip as he leaned against the vending machine when he returned to the second floor, now growing annoyed at himself for giving into such a futile plan. With a huff, he pushed away the self-loathing for the meantime and continued. 

As he trudged up the next flight of stairs, Tsukishima picked up on the sudden volume spike, his heart began pounding against his chest as he realized what had just happened. He halted on the last step that led to the third floor. The music had gone from a faint murmur to a full on broadcast — as if it was turning up a ten to a sixty. 

Tsukishima took careful steps, still cautious of his surroundings to make sure no one was seeing him creep around the halls. He craned his neck to follow the music, the lyrics and melody both now clearer in his head. He swore he felt like vomiting out his heart.

His feet carried him until he was in front of a certain door — room 202, as indicated by the brass lettering just below the door viewer. He recalled some time ago that Yachi did mention that she and Shizuku occupied a room on the third floor, but with the kind of nervousness that was blurring his reason, he couldn’t remember what their room number was.

Tsukishima dared to press an ear against the surface, mind going into a frenzy when he finally got an answer to the hypothesis his friend had offered to him not too long ago. 

_Shinjuku_ by Just Big Hills — a lo-fi track that he was all too familiar with. Whoever it was on the other side, they must be studying. 

That moment of clarity was short-lived, however. Tsukishima was too engrossed at mulling over the fact that he just proved himself and Yamaguchi right to be mindful of his hand which held the spare coins that he wasn't able to use when he bought the matcha drink. 

"Shit!" He hissed, practically diving to collect the loose change that made quite a huge ruckus amidst the silent hallway, his fingers frantically picking them up from the floor. Tsukishima wanted to punch himself even more when he saw that a few of them had managed to slip under the crack of the door. The music came to a halt, and he could hear footsteps approaching from the other side. 

Clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth, Tsukishima booked it and headed for the stairs.

His breathing was ragged when he came back in, ignoring the strange look Kyoutani gave him when he slammed the front door shut. Tsukishima leaned against the surface, a palm reaching up to his forehead as he combed through his hair, stilling himself after almost getting caught snooping around places he shouldn’t be.

_What a fucking train wreck._

Tsukishima tried to shake off the events two nights ago as he headed for the bookstore. He went through his list again to confirm his visit — a copy of _I Am a Cat_ (as he wasn’t too keen on reading it in PDF format), a new highlighter and a pen. Satisfied, he folded the paper and slid it back into his coat pocket. 

The fluorescent lights that lined the ceiling greeted him early in the morning, his eyes instinctively blinking to adjust to the brightness that bathed him as he entered the bookstore. Tsukishima had a slight frown as he scoured the aisles, eager to cross off all the items in the list so he could have an extra twenty minutes to grab coffee before classes started. 

He stopped at the widest shelf located at the backmost area, slowly making sideways steps as he searched for the book. 

_Ah, if I were a flower I’d end up blooming,_

_you don’t know where will go_

_the smoke I’m inhaling right now_

Tsukishima’s eyes widened upon realizing that he was hearing music again. He turned to see who it was, head whipping left and right to search for the source. The students who were coming and going into the bookstore made him conscious about behaving as if he was being chased down by a serial killer in broad daylight, but that was exactly how it felt — Tsukishima seemed to throw out the nearest window all his previous hesitance about meeting this person and only focused on the volume growing louder as he stood there, unprepared. 

_Hands holding me,_

_there are so many of them I don’t even need to choose._

_My normal temperature is equivalent to your small fever,_

_the feelings of me falling into indigo color…_

By now, Tsukishima could hear it clearly — it was a Polkadot Stingray song, one that he recognized from a playlist he listened to the other day. He just couldn’t pinpoint the title given that he could feel his panic rising along with the volume — inching and increasing in intensity, like a slow, progressive march of a sentence he wasn’t ready to shoulder. 

_I bet you would like to know them_

_I want to be happy, you know?_

Then he heard a voice. One so familiar yet dubious — Tsukishima knew who it belonged to, but he couldn’t force himself to confirm his thoughts and look at the person who had addressed him. His hands were clammy and shaky, and his eyes were glued onto the book he was looking for, the light pink spine mocking his current state. 

“Tsukishima- _kun_!”


	5. Overdrive (II)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs featured/mentioned in this chapter:  
> [Ai Otsuka - Jellyfish Shooting Star](https://youtu.be/CX3qYkRK3ts)  
> [Siam Shade - 1/3 no Junjou no Kanjou](https://youtu.be/qCztoIX3qnQ)

Normally, people sing the worst when wearing earphones, but not Shizuku. She hummed along to the song easily — as if she had listened to it far too many times to even get a note wrong — she stood there next to Tsukishima, completely innocent from the whirlwind of thoughts that had found a home in his head. 

And it wasn't even eight in the morning. 

_Ah, telecaster stripe_

_In the tide descending on me_

_1-2-3_

_Falling in love with you_

“Good morning,” Shizuku greeted, flashing him a quick smile as she scanned the stacked spines of the books in front of them. 

Tsukishima couldn’t fully appreciate the kindness of her gesture; not with the blood rushing to his ears — and to his cheeks — but he mustered all that he could to say it back, albeit the quietest one he had given her. He coughed out the uncomfortable lump forming at the back of his throat, the sound of his own hacking seeming a bit too conspicuous for his liking. 

This was strange. Tsukishima had always pictured that on the day he found out who his soulmate was, he would be suffering from the most painfully clichè reactions: sweaty palms, quivering lips, and shaky hands — however, none of those three ever came. Tsukishima wasn't nervous at all. It felt right, almost — like she was who he had been expecting all this time. 

Of course, now wasn't the appropriate moment to spill his new knowledge, and most importantly: Tsukishima needed to ask Shizuku for his change back. 

_Telecaster Stripe_

_We don’t need that kind of song_

_Ah, telecaster stripe_

_Confess my love, I wanna fly_

Shizuku glanced at him again, before resuming her search. “Looking for _I Am a Cat_ ?” 

“What?” 

Tsukishima wanted to slam his head against the wall when his voice rose up an octave.

“ _I Am a Cat_ ,” She repeated, sighed as her eyes darted to the shelf in front of him, and tapped on the spine. “It’s right here.” 

_Ah, darling stay away from me_

_Telecaster Stripe_

_We don’t need that kind of song_

Tsukishima snapped out of his self-induced trance and hurriedly pulled the book from its snug slot. Shizuku cocked her head at him. 

“Are you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost.” 

“I’m fine,” He heaved out a sigh and gave her a quick, tight-lipped smile. “Thanks.” 

Shizuku questioned him no more and wordlessly turned back to the shelf. Tsukishima made his way to the counter to pay for the items. He listened until the music faded away from earshot as he walked out of the bookstore and into the square, taking deep inhales and exhaling through his mouth. He checked his schedule and a wave of relief washed over him when he was reminded that Japanese literature wasn’t until the end of the day. As much as he was growing accustomed to the subtle, pretty scent of Shizuku's shampoo, there was absolutely no way he could sit next to her again after what he learned of today. 

Aspiring ASMRtist slash Professor Okada’s voice rang through the lecture hall as she went through a few chapters of _I Am a Cat_. Shizuku’s fingers darted across the keyboard of her laptop, making notes as the discussion about the nameless feline and his role being Natsume’s own voice in portraying his views about humanity slowly lulled her to sleep. 

Every now and then Shizuku glanced at the familiar head of blond hair. Tsukishima was back to sitting in his usual spot at the front most row in the hall. She still couldn’t figure out a possible reason to explain his odd behavior earlier in the bookstore, as she already had an established impression of him being extra standoffish in the morning. Throughout the whole lecture, she found herself flickering her eyes at him. 

Tsukishima gave her the cold shoulder when she passed by him as the other students exited the hall. Shizuku’s enthusiasm towards asking him about what he thought about the book was immediately dampened after he headed straight down the hallway, not even sparing a glance when she called out his name. Unamused by his sudden distant behavior, Shizuku paid it no mind. 

* * *

“I think Wato’s psychologist is the mastermind,” Shizuku surveyed the oranges in the produce section. “Irikawa gives me extremely creepy lady vibes.” 

Yachi stood behind her, leaning forward on her arms on the cart handle as she hummed at the theory her roommate proposed. “Personally, I think it’s Moriya. Because you know — men.” 

Shizuku snorted as she placed the ones she picked out from the box before following her roommate to the next aisle, checking off the items they had already covered. “Or, he could be working for Irikawa.” 

“Do you remember that framed vortex photo in his house? A poor choice of decor, honestly.” 

“Ugh, yeah — tacky _and_ creepy.” 

“Speaking of creepy,” Yachi paused to grab a few bottles of soymilk and green tea. “The other day, I heard noise outside our room. You were studying so I didn’t bother you but it was just...” she rubbed her arm as if to calm herself down. “It was so scary.” 

“What did it sound like?” 

“First it was footsteps, and...it stopped by our room.” 

“Uh-huh…?” 

“Then, I heard clanking noises and someone...swearing.” 

“Swearing?” 

“Yeah like, ‘shit!’, or something like that.” Yachi paused to look at Shizuku, only to see how puzzled she was. “I’m serious, this really happened.” 

Her roommate sighed. “Okay, and then?” 

“And then...when I opened the door, there was no one there — except for like, one hundred sixty four yen scattered on the floor of the genkan.” 

“Oh my God,” Shizuku clapped a hand over her mouth. 

“Why? What did you do?” 

“So that wasn’t our emergency money on the shoe rack?”

Yachi looked at her, confused. 

“I used it to buy a pencil.” 

Shizuku witnessed Yachi, along with the grocery bags in both hands, leap out of the taxi at the speed of light upon seeing the guy sitting in the lobby. It was Hinata.

Prior today, Shizuku was fully decided on the fact that Yachi was simply joking when she told her Hinata would only come up to her ears, but now that she was standing in front of him, Shizuku could only think about how strong this guy was to be able to make those godly jumps in his games whenever he would land a spike. Yachi promptly introduced them to each other after breaking away from the hug. 

"You're so tall," Hinata said, his hand still shaking Shizuku's. His eyes practically glimmered as he smiled up at her.

Shizuku laughed awkwardly, her cheeks growing hot with his curious stare. "Yeah, it uh, it really helps with reaching into shelves."

_Reaching into shelves?_

"Yachi told me that you used to play for Niiyama Joshi. What was your position?"

"Middle blocker."

Shizuku was in the middle of answering another one of Hinata's questions when Tsukishima arrived. There was a small smirk on his face. 

“Long time no see, human tangerine.” 

Hinata huffed. “That’s Kageyama’s line.” 

Tsukishima walked up to the three of them and put his hand on Hinata’s head, still sporting that teasing expression. He cocked a brow at him. “Wearing insoles?” 

Hinata swatted his hand away. “I’m at a hundred and seventy-two now, quit it.” 

“Still eighteen cetimeters shorter than me.” 

Yachi broke the two of them up before it escalated further. “Where’s Kageyama? You said both of you were coming.” 

“He went straight to Miyagi when we landed.” Hinata checked his phone. “But he said he’ll come to Tokyo soon.” 

Shizuku met Kageyama the following weekend, right on the day they set to go karaoke together with Tadashi and Koganegawa. He was as Yachi described him to be — tall, muscular; sharp dark blue eyes, and dark hair. Although at first Shizuku pegged him to be the all-serious-business type, the dorkiness slightly seeped through while they chatted on their way to Shinjuku. 

Everyone was at the karaoke bar by nine in the evening. Koganegawa, and Tsukishima arrived together, with the former practically tackling both Hinata and Kageyama in an enormous hug when he saw them. Tsukishima didn’t pass his opportunity to greet Kageyama using that one nickname he earned twice years ago with the same shit-eating smirk he had on when he was riling up Hinata a while ago. Kageyama was clearly unamused by this, but he greeted him back with the slightest grumble in his voice. 

They all pitched in for a two-hour-and-a-half session, plus the complementaries that came with the room. It was dimly lit inside — only a couple of gold-tinted accent lighting scarcely illuminating the space; dark, sleek walls lined with frames and other music paraphernalia, and there was the hinting smell of leather, most likely coming from the booth that reflected the lights above. Shizuku shivered a little when she stepped inside. She tugged on her coat tighter, noticing an AC unit at the upper corner of the room. 

Shizuku sat between Koganegawa and Yamaguchi once they were all settled in. Tsukishima was way over the farthest wing of the booth next to Kageyama, looking impassive as usual. He hasn’t said a word to her since they met up with the others in Shinjuku, and it didn’t look like his eyes were going to be unglued soon from the screen of his phone. 

No one touched the control pad until Hinata did, and the room was soon filled with his rather energetic rendition of the sixth ending theme of Rurouni Kenshin, 1/3 no _Junjou no Kanjou_. The mood picked up soon after that, but Shizuku always found a way to refuse her turn and pass it to either Koganegawa or Yachi. 

Everyone was wise enough to not force Tsukishima into singing. Occasionally he would make a snarky comment about Kageyama’s or Hinata’s voice being too monotone or loud, and would successfully shut them down when they tried to get him to grab the microphone to “prove them wrong”. 

Yamaguchi offered Shizuku another turn when he finished his song, and with the alcohol having doused down her will to decline, she accepted after what might have been her seventh rejection. Koganegawa, in his near-drunk glory, was cheering her on as she punched in the numbers on the control pad. Shizuku steadied herself as the flowy intro of Ai Otsuka’s _Kurage, Nagareboshi_ flowed through the speakers and sang the first few lines. 

Tsukishima soon looked up after being preoccupied with his phone for the past minutes. Shizuku eased into the second verse with the knowledge that he was boring holes in her head — she didn't think much of it though — she often turned down karaoke invites from their circle, so this might be his first time hearing her sing. It was either that, or he was just simply judging her for butchering such a beautiful, dreamy ballad; if her second assumption was true, Shizuku couldn't care less. Their bathroom walls in the dormitory had witnessed more of her performances than he ever did, anyway. 

* * *

"Pull him in carefully, watch his head," Shizuku put her hand over Koganegawa as Tsukishima and Kageyama helped him get seated inside. He and Hinata ended up sleeping and needing to be dragged out from the establishment after their two and a half-hour stay. The latter was already sprawled out unconscious in the last row. 

Yamaguchi worriedly turned to look at them from the front seat. "Tsukki, are you sure he's okay?" 

"He's fine," Tsukishima said, shifting a bit so he could sit more comfortably next to his knocked out friend. "He just looks like a dead fish but he's fine." 

Yachi turned the keys in the ignition after everyone had settled in. At a turn she made as she pulled away from the parking area, Koganegawa's head lolled over to Shizuku's side. She flinched at the uncomfortable feeling of the unbalanced heavy weight, knowing she had to (literally) shoulder him for the remainder of the trip. 

"You really should have switched places with me," Kageyama said. 

Shizuku dismissed his concern with a wave of her hand and assured him she was alright. She managed to fish for her earphones in her bag and plugged it in her phone, drowning out all other noises as Yachi drove down the bright highway of Shinjuku. 

Unbeknownst to her, Kageyama eyed her after she had pressed play and heard a soft stream of music coming from her direction. Tsukishima did so as well, but despite liking the song Shizuku chose, he averted his gaze to the window, his mood instantly souring at how he noticed Kageyama looking at her. His own phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out and saw a message from Yamaguchi. 

**_[Yamaguchi Tadashi]_ **

"i can't imagine my soulmate being her" my ass 

maybe you should ask kags to switch seats with you wwww 

Tsukishima glared at him at the rearview mirror and typed back a reply. 

**_[Tsukishima Kei]_ **

shut up 

The rest of the drive back to Bunkyo was dead quiet. Tadashi was dropped off soon at his dorm, and Hinata and Kageyama (who had to lug him along) at their hotel. Heavy silence continued to drape over the rest of them on the drive back to their dorms. 

Shizuka was only able to shrug Koganegawa awake after Yachi had parked the vehicle, yet still had to lend her already sore shoulder so she and Tsukishima could carry him to his dorm room. Thank the gods he was at the first floor. 

Shizuku was massaging herself while mumbling something about being an alcohol police to stop Koganegawa from passing out when Yachi caught up with her. She didn't care to wish Tsukishima goodnight like Yachi did when they passed by him as he was about to enter his dorm room. She childishly figured that he needed to get a taste of his own medicine, but let go of the thought as soon as she noticed him linger by the door just a fraction of a second as they ascended the stairs to the third floor. 

As if by divine providence, Tsukishima had returned to the seat right next to Shizuku the following week. She straightened up before turning to him, her preparation for a question canceled when he answered it immediately without giving her as much as a glance. 

"I don't get chapter three." 

Shizuku bit back a grin as she leaned back, watching as the lights in the lecture hall gradually dimmed.


	6. Draw it Near

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ** Spoilers for Kafka on the Shore and Miss Sherlock episode 6!
> 
> Songs featured in this chapter:  
> [Surl - The Lights Behind You](https://youtu.be/0DLg1DEyqbA)  
> [Leah Dou - May Rain](https://youtu.be/eX9e2_QTV2I)

Small, delicate drops adorned the window panes behind them, the glass hampering down the pattering of rain outside. Shizuku went out today to meet up with Ichika in Shinjuku in a local cat cafe, as those little moody balls of fur had always been their strongest common interest since high school. 

Ichika watched a fluffy white Persian cat with blue eyes settle on the pillow propped on her thighs after it had hopped down from the scratching post. The feline looked like a cloud with legs and a tail.

“Have you finished _Norwegian Wood_?”

“Jesus,” Shizuku grimaced. “The ending had me staring at a wall. I don’t even want to talk about it.”

“I recommend reading _Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki_ next. It’s also under the bildungsroman genre but a bit more...I don’t know,” Ichika gestured with her hand as she looked for the word. “ _Introspective_ , I guess. Fewer sex scenes, though.” She laughed.

Fishing through her bag for her phone, Shizuku typed it in her notes. She could check the bookstore at the university if they carried it.

“Colorless…” She mumbled, thumbs padding down on the keys. “ _Tsukuru_ as in ‘make’?” 

Ichika gave her a nod when her eyes flickered towards her. Shizuku hit save and put the device back in its designated pocket.

A small calico cat approached her and curled up in her lap. It had an uncannily grumpy face that reminded Shizuku of someone she knew. She ran a hand over its fur, marveling at how soft it felt against her palm. Its purr reverberated from its throat and to Shizuku's thighs, stretching its body as it shifted to get more comfortable in its new sleeping space.

Shizuku reached for her drink — a warm cup of floral Darjeeling tea — she took a sip and set it back down again on its saucer. 

“So, anyway, in _Kafka on the Shore_ , the stone is supposed to act as a portal, or something?” 

Ichika's fingers habitually brushed the tips of her bangs, cut neatly just above her eyebrows. She recently had her hair ombre dyed a subtle, aqua color, and it now reached the tops of her shoulders.

“Yeah, between the spirit world and the mortal plane. That’s why Kafka was able to...you know…” She gave Shizuku a knowing look.

“Sleep with his mom?” Shizuku whispered, looking around to gauge whether there was anyone nearby who heard what she said. 

"Well, yes, and no.”

“But that must also mean that Kafka has like, two souls, 'cause he identified Miss Saeki as his lover at some point.”

“More like one and a half souls. The older Kafka is the half spirit that was in the _younger_ Kafka, so he could reunite with Miss Saeki.”

“I suddenly remembered what Professor Okada told me a few weeks ago.” Shizuku said.

"Oh no, what did she say to you now?"

"She just asked me if I believed in soulmates, and I assumed she meant the romantic one, so I said 'no, I don't'." 

"You didn't," Ichika gasped dramatically, as if to mock the same reaction Shizuku's classmates would have had. 

"Then she told me that she 'hopes I don’t have to see an apparition of my soulmate in the dorms' or something like that."

“Maybe that's why Hitoka- _chan_ heard a ‘ghost’ outside your room. That must have been them!" 

Shizuku took a double take at Ichika’s words, the mutual amusement fading as soon as she realized that that claim _somehow_ made sense, that Ichika could _actually_ be correct despite making light of her roommate’s experience. Without having her thoughts translate themselves outwardly on her face, Shizuki had to admit that the possibility of whomever it was on the other side living in the same dormitory as her could not readily be dismissed and ruled out to be entirely untrue. 

Shizuku could only shake her head at Ichika's joke, smiling uncomfortably as she sipped on her tea. God help her if Ichika asked, because if she started dishing out the hard questions, she wouldn't know what to say to her, either.

* * *

  
  


A chilly draft flowed in from the open glass doors as the foliages of the ginkgo trees rustled along with it, all dyed in rich orange and yellow hues. Fallen leaves rested on pathways, adorning the concrete where students came and went, going about their usual weekday schedule. Judging by the coldness of the air, winter was fast approaching.

Feeling her phone vibrate in her coat pocket, Shizuku pulled it out to read a text from Yachi inviting her to a study session with Koganegawa and Tsukishima in a cafe nearby. Attached to the message was a sneakily taken candid photo of the two boys sitting next to each other, both occupied in their own worlds. Shizuku giggled at Yachi's ninja-esque technique, shaking her head as she typed a reply to tell her that she would be over in a bit.

The café wasn't too crowded when Shizuku arrived, save for the obvious density of customers being the students from the campus. Koganegawa waved at her as she approached them with her drink in hand, alerting both Yachi and Tsukishima of her presence. For some reason, Shizuku found it suddenly difficult to maintain eye contact with the blond, and decided to keep her gaze on Yachi instead who happily welcomed her and scooched over to give her room in their booth.

Accompanying the clinking and buzzing of the work stations and the hushed conversations of the customers was SURL's _The Lights Behind You_. Shizuku ditched her earphones this time and bestowed her trust to whoever was in charge with the music to be her background noise as she flipped to the page she had marked in _I Am a Cat_. The nameless feline was now in the process of narrating the various exercises it had been doing over the course of the seasonal transition between summer and autumn: cricketing, which involved literally catching and eating cicadas off the trees of its master's garden; pine sliding, and going around the slim bamboo fence of the backyard; all with its commentary on the significance of exercise to human life and its facets.

Normally, it was easy for Shizuku to get immersed in a book as articulate as the one she was reading, but each time she looked up from the page to sip on her flat white, she couldn't shake off this feeling that Tsukishima was secretly watching her from across the table. 

She didn't point her thoughts out about this however, as it was just a hunch — it would be plain rude for her to disturb him while he had his headphones on just to ask him if he had something to say to her. After taking another awkward swig of her drink, she went back to making annotations on the passage she was currently on.

_Our shadow's bound to separate_

_Won't cry no, just pack my things—_

"This cafe knows who Leah Dou is," Shizuku said as she turned the page, addressing Yachi who was typing away on her laptop. 

_I'll go now, leave behind your shame_

_Close up and lock this gate_

_Goodbye to this may rain—_

"What do you mean?"

_I was never one to believe in fate_

_But I thought that we were forever, ever, ever, ever—_

"They're playing _May Rain_ in the speakers right now."

_Then sun turns to rain I start hiding away_

_And now you're walking out with no see you later later later—_

"Huh?" Yachi tilted her head to the side. She pointed upward. "This is a bossa nova instrumental."

Shizuku mirrored the same confused expression, silently horrified at the idea that what she was hearing was coming from somewhere (or someone) different.

Her eyes flickered towards Koganegawa, whose focus was solely dedicated to whatever he was watching on his phone. He has his earphones on but Shizuku could definitely rule him out of her suspicions.

Tsukishima was her last possible assumption. Shizuku kept her gaze low as she rested her cheek against her palm, eyes stealthily watching his slender fingers drum on the surface of the table. She sighed and retreated in defeat, finding that his tapping wasn't going along with the kicks in the song.

Shizuku made the mistake to let her eyes wander up to Tsukishima's face, and it was too late for her to look away as he caught her in the act. Tsukishima cocked a brow up at her, as if to ask her a wordless yet peevish _'what?'._ Not knowing how to reply, Shizuku averted her gaze, awkwardly tucking a tuft of her hair behind her ear and went back to her book.

* * *

"What if it was Koganegawa?" 

Shizuku leaned against the sink, her brows scrunched up in thought as she passed the rinsed plate over to Yachi. They discussed what had happened in the café over Chinese takeout upon having surmised that it eerily turned out that the music Shizuku heard earlier was in fact _not_ from the speakers, but from an _actual person_.

"Koganegawa had been watching that knife guy on his phone the whole time. He even showed me his screen when I asked him what he was listening to," Yachi turned to her with a mischievous smile on her face. 

"And you know, he wasn't the only one in our table with something on his ears."

"No way," Shizuku snorted. "Tsukishima?"

Yachi shrugged. "It doesn't hurt to ask him directly." 

Shizuku narrowed her eyes at her. "Why am I getting the feeling that you know something I don't?"

Yachi threw her arms up. "I'm just helping you figure this out — all I'm saying is that narrowing your suspicions down to one person is an important step to take."

"I don't know, Yachi, you're giving me the creepy Irikawa vibes."

Yachi laughed, shaking her head as she put away the rest of the clean dishes in the cupboard. 

"Spare me from the suspicion or we're not going to be able to watch _Miss Sherlock_ on time."

As much as the mixed guilt and excitement ate at Yachi on the inside, she knew she couldn't possibly be the one to make the revelation to Shizuku. She figured she would have to keep this one from her and let her find out on her own that the answer she had purposefully laughed at while washing the dishes was the _correct one._

The realization came unprovoked. It started with Tsukishima running up to Yachi at the square and asking her if she happened to have picked up change he had _quote-unquote_ lost on the third floor, and when he told her how much it was worth, Yachi immediately put two and two together.

_"That was you?" She pulls him to the side, away from the students flooding out from the nearby building._

_Tsukishima runs a hand through his hair, sighing deeply as if he had lost a game. He looks around first before speaking. "Yes. Please don't freak out, and please don't tell Ishikawa-san."_

_"I'll do my best not to, but don't drag it out! Women always find out the truth. Always."_

"So it was him all along," Shizuku mumbled, yanking Yachi out from her thoughts. For a moment there, she considered if her roommate had suddenly acquired some sort of psychic ability and read her mind.

"What?"

"The guy," Shizuku pointed at her laptop screen. "Yoshiyuki sent the package to the Takayama's."

Relieved that it was the show she was talking about, Yachi stammered out an "ah", hoping that Shizuku wasn't going to see right through her any time soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Link to the "knife guy" Koganegawa was watching on YouTube](https://youtube.com/channel/UCg3qsVzHeUt5_cPpcRtoaJQ)


	7. Careful, Careful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukishima and Shizuku have udon together :>

Wednesday was always slow for Shizuku. Her classes ended late, often due to her psych professor getting too engrossed in the lesson to even notice what time it was already. Shizuku buttoned her coat down before stepping out of the building, sighing in discomfort at the first cold breeze that brushed past her as soon as she had squeezed her way through the other students from the last class.

She needed to think up what to have for dinner. Making char siu didn’t appeal to her for the time being — she’d have to stop by the supermarket for pork and the needed ingredients, and Yachi had left a reminder earlier on her bedroom door that she wouldn’t be home early from her part time job to eat dinner together with her. Shizuku adjusted the straps of her bag, ultimately deciding that she was going to Mr. Satoru’s stall. She was due for a helping of a hearty bowl of udon, anyway.

The warm lights from the lamp posts along the wide concrete walkway illuminated against the nearing navy blue of the sky. Nights always came faster in autumn. Shizuku reached the bus stop before her watch read six.

At the tail of the line was Tsukishima. He was looking at his phone, the pale blue glow of the light of its screen washing over his face. Shizuku expectantly eyed the headphones resting around his neck. She couldn’t seem to understand why a pang of disappointment hit her when she didn’t seem to hear anything.

Raindrops started pattering against the roof of the waiting shed. Tsukishima soon noticed Shizuku approaching him and gave her a once-over before curtly greeting her when she got close enough. 

Shizuku returned the gesture. “Dismissed late, too?” She chirped, brushing back a stray tuft of hair away from her face. She hoped her face showed no evidence that would suggest anything about how she had spent the last ten minutes in class dozing off with her face covered with her textbook.

“Yeah, it’s my Wednesday schedule. A huge pain in the ass, really.” Tsukishima nodded at the significantly long line in front of him. He really wasn’t the type to hide his dissatisfaction about things. Shizuku drew out a hum, not knowing how to respond to him.

“I’m hungry,” she interjected after the awkward pause. Tsukishima gave her a questioning look, wondering why she was telling him this information out of the blue. He waited for her to continue.

“Care to join me for udon?”

“No, thank you.”

Shizuku was taken aback. _That was fast._

Before Shizuku could shrug off his blatant lie, she heard a familiar grumbling that came from Tsukishima. He had a visibly flustered look on his face, which he so hardly tried to play off as nothing when he averted his eyes elsewhere. Shizuku bit back a grin and peered at him.

“You sure?”

The light thunderstorm grew heavier by the time the bus reached its next stop. Tsukishima was subjected to share an umbrella with Shizuku given that he didn’t really expect last night’s weather forecast to suddenly betray him now. It didn’t help Tsukishima’s cause that he was literally inches away from his soulmate, who was luckily completely oblivious to how he was slowly getting familiar with her perfume, and how squirmish he got whenever her knuckles brushed against his as they walked. 

Tsukishima was too caught up in his own world to even notice that they were nearing the stall. A soft yellow light emanated from behind and between the slits of the navy blue noren that hung from the overextended part of the roof, the aromatic appetizing smell of broth drawing nearer and nearer as he matched Shizuku’s walking pace.

Shizuku let Tsukishima enter first. She closed her umbrella and propped it by the foot of the stool she sat on. Looking around, he recognized some familiar faces of the tenants of their dorm having their meals. 

Shizuku’s presence was immediately picked up by the couple behind the counter. In turn, she greeted them both cheerfully. Tsukishima guessed that this might have been the Mr. and Mrs. Satoru that she had told him about on their way here. They looked well into their fifties, diligently working together to accommodate the customers coming and going under this rainy night.

Shizuku didn’t miss introducing Tsukishima to the couple. He bowed slightly and wished them both a good evening. 

“You two came right on time, then. Nothing beats the cold of a thunderstorm like a bowl of udon,” Mr. Satoru chuckled. “Will yours be the usual?”

After having confirmed her order, Shizuku noticed that Tsukishima was still looking at the handwritten menu by the side. 

She propped her chin on her palm. “You should try the hakata udon. It’s their specialty.”

“I’m not really in the mood for pork tonight.” Tsukishima turned to look at her. “What did you order?”

“Beef udon.”

“Is it good?”

Shizuku shrugged almost playfully. “You have to find out for yourself.”

Tsukishima relented. Shizuku was quick to raise her hand to signal the Satoru’s. 

“Make that two beef udon orders, please!”

Tsukishima found it hard to resist his own hunger as soon as the steaming bowls of beef udon were served to them. Even harder was to ignore Shizuku's triumphant pause as she looked up from her bowl to watch Tsukishima, silently amused at how he literally gulped down his first lift of noodles and beef.

"Good, right?" 

Tsukishima breathed out a smile. 

Halfway into their meals, Shizuku and Tsukishima both managed to ease into a conversation about themselves; one long overdue since the day they met each other. 

"I graduated from Niiyama Joshi," Shizuku said. "I was part of the volleyball team until senior year. " 

"Starting lineup?"

"Yep. Middle blocker."

"You know," Tsukishima squinted his eyes at her. "I think I've seen you before."

Shizuku mirrored his reaction. "Actually, yeah, me too."

"Sendai Gymnasium?"

"Yeah, the infirmary, was it?"

Tsukishima nodded. "I think so."

"What happened?"

"They sent me there, mid-game. This area here," he raised his right hand up at her and pointed at the space between the ring and pinky finger. "It began to bleed after I blocked a spike."

Shizuku openly winced, making a tying motion around her own finger. "That's why you have to bind them together. It's the pinky that might have taken all the force." She paused. "Who did you block?"

"Ushijima Wakatoshi."

"What?"

"Ushiji-"

"No, I heard you." Shizuku stared at him with awe. "That was you?"

"It's hard to believe, I know." Tsukishima shrugged.

"I personally would have loved to see it — too bad our games were scheduled at the same time slot."

"What about you? Why'd you get sent to the infirmary?"

"I got a cut, too," Shizuku tucked her hair behind her ear, revealing a short, faint, slanted scar that ran down from the tip of her sideburns up until where her jaw met her lobe. "My teammate and I dived for the ball at the same time and her nail scraped my skin, or something." She untucked the tuft and let it fall over to cover the spot again. 

"Something like that happened to our team captain before," Tsukishima chuckled at the memory. He looked at Shizuku.

"Everybody acted like he died."

The rain stopped a little after Tsukishima and Shizuku finished their meals, paid, and thanked the Satoru's. The soles of their shoes crunched against the wet concrete as they walked home, their conversation still in its progress. 

"So why psychology? What's with the abrupt change?" Tsukishima glanced at Shizuku.

"I wanna help people," she returned the gesture, smiling at him. "Mental health issues are always swept under the rug in Japanese society. So many people neglect and invalidate them and it's still a taboo thing. Like, if you have trauma from something — sometimes, you don't even know it's there or worse, you never get to acknowledge it at all."

Shizuku bit her lip, sensing that she might have said something that turned the mood a little heavier than she intended. 

"Well, it _is_ very real. The chemicals in a human brain change when a person experiences even the slightest bit of emotion," Tsukishima smiled to himself, hiding it from Shizuku's sight as he stared at his feet. "To be honest with you, I don't think science alone is really enough." 

“The chemistry of the human body is simple,” Shizuku tucked her hands in her coat pocket “The chemistry of the human mind? Infinite.”

Tsukishima raised a brow. There was a hint of a smirk on his lips.

“You should attend a class about anatomy some time.”

“I was trying to sound poetic.”

“Oh, were you?” 

Shizuku merely laughed, rolling her eyes at his remark. 

Tsukishima stopped in front of their dorm room to thank Shizuku for the meal. She smiled and gave him a dismissive wave.

"It's fine. It's always nice to eat with someone else. "

"You kinda just dragged me along, though."

"Yeah, but you kinda said yes anyway." She grinned.

Tsukishima gave a short bow and wished her good night. Shizuku said the same, turned and went off on her own way. He twisted the knob open and entered, taking his shoes off and setting them on the rack, slipping into his indoor slippers as he trudged off towards his room.

Kyoutani was tossing a volleyball up and down in his hands as he watched TV. He turned to look at his roommate. 

There was a knowing grin on his face, brows raised as if he was sending his suggestive thoughts telepathically towards the blond.

“Not another word.” Tsukishima stood on the hallway and narrowed his eyes at Kyoutani, pointing at him with an index finger to punctuate his seriousness.


	8. First week of November

Shizuku had her chin propped on her knuckles as Professor Okada explained the scoring guide that was flashed on the board for the anecdotal paper as a culmination of their lectures about _I Am a Cat_. Data would be gathered by simply observing and analyzing people in different locations and times of the days — with the exception of the university as an option.

“Most of you are always out and about anyway,” Professor Okada leaned against her desk. She smiled thinly. “Why not make something useful out of your free time?”

While none of the class gave out any verbal qualms, it was obvious enough that most of them thought this was going to put a strain on their usual carefree days outside the campus. 

Professor Okada had already picked out the pairs with a randomizer and instantly emailed the results to each of them. When the notification arrived with a ping, Shizuku clicked on the email and prayed under her breath that she wasn’t going to be partnered up with anyone who would eventually leave all the work to her.

Tsukishima’s full name was written on the screen in bold characters when Shizuku opened the file. She had to read it for a good three times, trying to gauge how she felt about having him as a partner for the paper. Her eyebrows knitted slightly, but nothing came up.

She glanced at Tsukishima, who sat in his usual spot at the front, his back facing her. No reaction. He didn’t even turn to give her a look of acknowledgement.

Class ended and Shizuku rushed out of her seat to look for Tsukishima by the doors, hoping that he hadn't gone too far yet since she needed to ask him for his number, _solely_ for the purpose of contacting him about the requirement.

She just didn’t know why it felt a little daunting to walk up to him even if her reason for such being sensible and professional enough.

“Tsukishima!” Shizuku called out, jogging a bit when she saw him at the end of the hall. He stood still when he heard his name and turned, eyebrows barely lifting as she caught up to him. 

Shizuku pulled out her phone and asked for his number, pushing away the bashful feeling blooming in the pit of her stomach.

There was a subtle yet unmistakable smirk on Tsukishima’s face as he took out his phone and slowly dictated it to her. Shizuku took a step closer to show him what she had typed for him to confirm, catching a quick, unintentional whiff of his cologne.

“Yachi has my phone number. Why didn’t you just ask her?” Tsukishima raised an eyebrow at her.

At first, the question didn’t register in Shizuku's head. ‘ _Why delay something as simple as that?’_ she thought, knowing it would be wasteful to wait until she got home and ask Yachi for his number. _There was no harm in asking him directly, right?_

Then it clicked. Tsukishima was _teasing_ her, making it look like she had a hidden agenda that required her to do such a thing. The connotation of his question was easily dismissable to a spectator, but judging by the still-present smirk on his face, he knew Shizuku was now aware of what he was suggesting.

“It’s for the paper.” Shizuku retorted firmly. “I’m sure you also want to get this over with as soon as possible.”

When Tsukishima felt that she wasn’t up to take any of his shit, he sighed quietly, slipping his phone back in his pocket. He dismissed with a wave of his hand.

“We can get started next week. I have volleyball practice later.”

* * *

A familiar ringtone rang through Shizuku’s room, forcing her to leave her shoelaces untied so she could pick up the call. She immediately recognized the ID on the screen when she grabbed her phone from the nightstand. 

“Mom,” Shizuku breathed out a smile, pressing the device near her ear with her shoulder as she resumed what she was doing. 

“I have you on speaker phone, alright? Your dad’s here, too.” Suzuna replied. It sounded like she was shuffling the phone for their voices to be heard clearly.

They asked Shizuku how she was doing — college, thoughts about graduating soon — but to her, there was nothing more important than having them come home once winter break starts. 

Kazuo and Suzuna’s job required them to travel often, and so this took a toll on the time they got to spend with their only daughter. Even though they were very attentive and doting, since she was little, Shizuku couldn’t help but feel empty every time she had to see them off at the airport. 

She had finished tying off her laces when she finally got the chance to ask them the question that had been lingering in her mind for quite some time now.

“Will you be coming home on winter break?” Shizuku stood still by the foot of her bed, waiting for an answer. There was a short pause on the other end.

“We still aren’t sure about that, darling,” Shizuku could hear the frown in her mother’s voice. Her shoulders dropped upon hearing the response.

“We’ll try our best to, okay? Things have been pretty busy here in Norway, but we’ll come home as soon as we can.”

“Alright.”

“Do your best, Shizuku, and don’t forget to bundle up! It’s getting colder in Tokyo, too.” Kazuo reminded her, his usual cheery voice lightening Shizuku up a bit before they ended the call.

Shizuku’s eyes lingered on the homescreen. She sighed, slipping it into her purse as she stepped out of her room. Yachi stood in the living area, fixing the collar of her turtleneck. She turned around and grabbed her bag.

“You good?”

Shizuku nodded.

They met up with Ichika in a mall in Harajuku. Yachi was supposed to buy gifts for Yamaguchi since his birthday was within a week from today, so here they were, helping their friend figure out what to get for her boyfriend.

Ichika thought with her arms folded over her chest. “A new sweater maybe? I mean, it is getting colder.”

“Tadashi has way too many of those in his closet.”

“And you know this because?” Shizuku raised a playful brow at her roommate.

Yachi let out a laugh and gently swatted Shizuku’s shoulder. “Yes, I wear them sometimes, I know.”

“What does he _not_ have in his dorm, then? You know, something he can use.”

“A humidifier, maybe?” Ichika suggested.

Yachi’s face lit up in an instant. “Oh my God, yes.”

After having scoured the department store for Yamaguchi’s gift, the three stopped at a bookstore at the first level before heading off to eat dinner.

Shizuku was unsuccessful in finding _Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki_ in the university bookstore, so she hoped that she could grab a copy of it here and start reading. The book seemed interesting to her, having read its synopsis online on the day Ichika recommended it to her.

She walked carefully along the shelves, searching each tier in the fiction section. A recent memory suddenly popped up in her head — that one day when she caught up to Tsukishima a few weeks ago.

He was strangely stiff when she walked up to where he was. She did ask him if he was alright, though — he responded almost a bit too awkwardly and his voice sounded like he was surprised to see her, which was particularly weird because it was so common for them to bump into each other in the bookstore. _Lack of sleep, maybe?_

That didn't make sense, though. Shizuku and Tsukishima belonged to the same volleyball circle with Yachi, Koganegawa, and Kyoutani — going out for drinks was a very common activity of the members of that circle, and if Shizuku had been keeping track, it was usually she, Tsukishima, and Yachi who almost always turned down the weekly invites to Shibuya.

Even so, something was seriously off about Tsukishima that morning in the bookstore. It was like a switch had flipped and suddenly he was all fidgety around her. Not only was he secretly skilled at taking the piss out of everyone — he was also weirdly inconsistent when it came to behaving around Shizuku.

Ichika nudged her arm. “Hey, you’re spacing out.” 

“What?”

“You look like you’re out of it.” She added, reaching for a book that Shizuku was unfamiliar with. The title was in English — probably a requirement in one of her classes. “What are you thinking about?”

“Nothing.”

“Come on, you know I don’t buy that kind of answer from you.”

“It’s just about this paper I’m supposed to turn in by the end of the semester.”

"Mhm," Ichika raised a brow at her. "And?"

"I'm partnered up with Tsukishima, you know, the tall _megane_ guy Yachi introduced to us before."

"Tadashi's friend, yeah." There was instantly a mischievous smile on Ichika's face. "Wasn't Tsukishima a former member of the Karasuno volleyball club, too?"

Shizuku nodded. She didn't like where this was going. Ichika turned to see if anyone near them, acting as though what she was about say was a giant, forbidden secret.

"I feel like there's a ninety percent chance that who we heard that day we snuck in was him."

Shizuku snorted. "Come on, that's so far-fetched. I don't even know how that person looked like."

"All I'm saying is that there's a possibility," Ichika shrugged. She gave her a look. "You did tell me back then that you'll wait until you meet them, though." 

Hesitantly, Shizuku smiled. "I still am."

* * *

A locked door was the least of Shizuku’s worries until now.

She felt her stomach drop when her hand came in contact with nothing as she searched for her keys, and it soon dawned on her that she had left them inside along with her phone when she went for a quick stop at the 7-11 near the building. 

Yachi still had classes at this hour, so it was impossible to try and borrow hers. Shizuku stared at the knob, wondering if she had anything on her person to dismantle it. 

She wore her hair down today, so that meant no bobby pins, and she wasn’t too keen on using her card on the slim space between the door and its frame, either. 

_‘A screwdriver could work’_ , she thought, but then realized that there was no way she could produce such in a matter of minutes given that the one they owned was currently inside.

An idea then clicked in her head. 

Shizuku turned and jogged down the stairs as fast as she could, heading towards the familiar door just by the vending machine. She took a deep breath and knocked twice.

“Ishikawa?” 

It was Tsukishima who opened the door. His hair was slightly mussed and it looked like he just woke up from a nap, judging by the loose, tousled shirt that exposed a small expanse of his pallid skin underneath. Shizuku was careful not to gawk at him.

“Yeah, uh, do you happen to have a screwdriver? The flat-head kind, maybe?”

Tsukishima suppressed a yawn with the back of his hand. He nodded, pulling the door open as he trudged towards somewhere in the room.

Shizuku waited by the doorway for a while before he came back, the tool now in his hand. He had the other on the doorknob when he gave it to her.

“What do you need it for, anyway?”

She let out a sheepish smile. “I got locked out of our room.”

Tsukishima scoffed, a teasing smirk playing on his lips. His eyebrows flashed upwards. 

“Just give it back when you’re done tampering with your doorknob.”

“Actually, that’s another problem.”

He narrowed his eyes at her.

“I don’t know how to unlock a door with it.”

A reluctant Tsukishima followed Shizuku up to the third floor and to the locked door of room 202. He hid a grimace at the memory of himself carelessly dropping his change when he tried to figure out who Shizuku was. Some part of him wanted to ask for the money when he gets the chance to.

“I don’t know how to do this either so we’re gonna have to figure this out,” Tsukishima sighed, asking Shizuku to hold his phone and dictate the instructions to him. 

“It says you have to put it in the keyhole and then,” Shizuku’s eyes flickered upwards to see if he was following. “You need to turn or twist it until it hits a groove and the lock clicks open.”

Tsukishima did exactly as he was told, but to no avail. He looked at her, a slight frown on his face.

“I don’t think it worked.”

Shizuku sighed, knowing Tsukishima was probably cursing her internally for disrupting his naptime. She gave him his phone. Her fingers nearly touched his in the process, but she was quick to pull back.

“I’ll try.”

She repeated the same thing, but at a pace a bit slower than Tsukishima’s. It took a few more tries of twisting and pushing the screwdriver further in the slot until there was a clicking noise. The door soon opened when she released her hold.

Shizuku took out the tool and handed it back to Tsukishima. She gave him a quiet thanks. He shrugged, saying that it was still her who did the work.

“Just...don’t forget your keys from now on, yeah?”

She let out a short laugh. “I won’t.”


	9. Rika from Class 1-3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation notes:
> 
> *うるさい! - "shut up!" ; meaning is actually "noisy" but it can also denote that what someone is doing is annoying you/other people around you  
> *じゃ, - "Well,"/"Well then,"  
> *カッコ悪い - "pathetic" (kakko warui),,, you know,, tsukki's first words to yams

True to his words, Tsukishima met up with Shizuku at Kasuga Station in the early afternoon to begin their collection of data for their paper.

They started small: a playground in Shinjuku that was near Shizuku’s former elementary school. The place was almost always packed on weekends, with kids coming over to play with others they lived close to. 

“Children, huh?” Tsukishima mused out loud. He had an unreadable expression when Shizuku told him who they were supposed to observe today. He didn’t seem too enthusiastic about the response he got.

Shizuku was quick to pick up on his unwillingness. “We’re not going to play with them.”

“Thank God.”

It was right to come on a Sunday, as Shizuku and Tsukishima already heard happy, cheerful noises of playing children as they walked towards the playground. They picked and sat at a spot relatively near a group who were all busy in their own world and started with the task they were given.

Shizuku sipped on the boba tea she bought when they arrived as she typed on her laptop, glancing every once in a while at the kids who were off in their own worlds, making notes of their behavior and what she thought about them.

Although his laptop was also open, Tsukishima still had his eyes on their subjects, eyebrows slightly knit as he watched them from his seat.

The scene was a subtle allusion to a memory he had when he was also a grade schooler—he never really liked playing with the children in his school at their designated playground, as most of them were either too loud or rowdy for his liking. He would always ignore their invites whenever he passed by them after being dismissed from class. 

Tsukishima was aware how some of the boys in his grade didn’t particularly care about their teasing going a bit too physical for their unlucky victim, and that was exactly the reason why he avoided getting too acquainted with them. 

That was how he met Yamaguchi, however. Had he not called them pathetic, they wouldn’t have left the poor boy alone—the person who became one of his closest friends since he was a child.

There was a similar situation going on right in front of his eyes, and he knew Shizuku had noticed it as well.

By a tree stood a girl—she was surrounded by other girls her age, and it looked as if they were trying to wring something out of her that she so faithfully held onto as they tried to intimidate her further.

“Is that all? I want to go home now.” The girl calmly said, her lips in a pout as she frowned at the others who were gathered around her.

“But, Rika!” One of the girls in the circle spoke up. “You can’t leave without telling us the truth! What were you doing with Haruka yesterday?”

From afar, Shizuku leaned in to whisper something to Tsukishima.

“Who do you think Haruka is?”

He smirked. “Who knows. School girls are almost always fighting over something.”

“Eh?” Rika’s voice grew more annoyed. “Why do you care, Mio? Stop acting like my mom.”

“You’re such a weirdo! A girl should not kiss another girl’s cheek, that’s disgusting!” Another one of them retorted, her tone full of childish contempt.

“ _うるさい!_ *” Rika snapped. The circle of girls around her stepped back a little at the sudden change of tone. “It’s not my problem you don’t show your friends you love them—you’re the weirdos, not me!”

“ _じゃ_ *,” Mio dared take a step closer. “If you’re actually friends, why not kiss Shouta on the cheek right now?” She jutted an accusing finger at the group of boys who were way over the opposite side of the playground. 

Rika stood closer to Mio. “Don’t _you_ like him? Why don’t _you_ do it? Bring him here and let’s find out!” 

At this, the latter started sniffling. Then, she lunged at Rika, her hands finding purchase in her hair and she started pulling. 

Shizuku was supposed to intervene when Tsukishima shook his head, pointing at them to show her that the other girls had managed to pry Mio off of Rika. They said something about being sent to their “scary” principal so their embarrassed ally would stop.

When the commotion had died down, Shizuku turned back to her laptop, biting back a grin as she started to type, making sure to leave out their names and give her thoughts about what had just transpired. Tsukishima more or less had the same reaction when he faced his screen again. Who knew today’s bunch was going to be entertaining to observe?

The sky had turned into a soft orange when they decided to leave. As Shizuku walked past the tree where the small fiasco happened, she noticed a lone hair tie lying on the concrete. She picked it up, looking around if there were any girls left in the area. This must have been from either Rika or Mio.

“Mio had her hair down.” Tsukishima said, eyes studying the object. “I don’t think that’s hers.”

“Um, that’s mine.” 

Shizuku felt someone tug at her shirt. It was Rika. Up close, she stood only until her waist. Her round eyes looked up at hers and back at the accessory. She handed it back to her and the little girl attempted to mimic the other pigtail on her head. Rika sighed when she couldn’t tie it off.

“Can I help?”

When Rika nodded, Shizuku crouched to her level. She gathered a proper amount of her dark tresses and glanced at the other half to determine how it should be done. 

A strange warmth spread across Shizuku's chest. She thought about how nice it would be if she had younger siblings. 

Shizuku asked Rika a few questions to make small talk—which class she belonged to, her favorite color—something to keep the little girl from being fully intimidated by Tsukishima who merely stood and watched as she got her hair done.

"Who's Haruka?" Shizuku's eyes flickered up at Tsukishima. He looked away for a fraction of a second to hide his smirk.

"We're friends, but she's from Class 1-4. She's really smart and she can play the piano! That's why I like her."

Rika looked up at Tsukishima, then pointed back at Shizuku with her thumb.

"Is she your girlfriend?"

It took a good five seconds for him to come up with an answer that could save them both from Rika's innocent assumption. Tsukishima gave her a quick 'no' and told her they were classmates as an easier explanation to why they were together.

"That's sad."

Tsukishima leaned down to her height, hands supporting himself on his knees as he raised an eyebrow at Rika.

"And why's that?"

The little girl shrugged. "I think she's very nice and pretty, and you're probably not seeing that even with your glasses."

Well, she _is_ correct. 

Shizuku patted her shoulder when she was finished fixing her hair. She simply told her that she and Tsukishima were just friends. Rika gave her a smile and thanked her.

A car pulled up soon after, and a woman who was at the passenger’s seat rolled down the window to call out to Rika. _This must be her mom_ , Shizuku thought. 

Rika waved good-bye at them as she ran up to the vehicle, climbing into it and closing the door behind her. 

" _カッコ悪い_?*" Shizuku echoed, laughing as she did so. "That's awfully mean." She feigned a disapproving pout.

"No, no, I didn’t aim it at Yamaguchi," Tsukishima shifted on his stool. They were back again at the udon stall to eat dinner before heading back to the dorms, but this time, the bill was going to be split.

"I said it to those boys who were harassing him so they’d stop, but yeah...I guess the indirectness did make it kinda mean." He laughed.

Shizuku grinned, turning back to her steaming bowl of beef udon. "Well, I guess you're mean with a purpose." 

Tsukishima began to talk about how he met Yamaguchi—how elementary was for him, his experiences—and Shizuku gave him her undivided attention as he spoke. 

There was something that felt odd about how easy it was for him to begin sharing information with Shizuku about his childhood—almost comforting, even—but right now, Tsukishima didn't know what to call that feeling yet.

"I usually watch volleyball games alone, but there was one where I had Yamaguchi come along."

Shizuku hummed. "Whose match?"

Tsukishima stilled in his seat, suddenly becoming cautious of what he was supposed to reply.

Even though he could say that he had processed the memory already, Tsukishima still felt uneasy upon bringing up what had happened that day—the day when he saw Akiteru at the other side of the gym, and not on the court—the day he got into the mindset that he had tried so hard to break himself free from.

Tsukishima blinked, clearing his throat as he consumed the last few noodles in his bowl. He put on a faint smile to try and not make the atmosphere feel awkward.

"Doesn't matter. I can't recall it much, anyway."

Even if he thought he was successful, Shizuku was all too familiar with the kind of smiles that people used to dismiss a question. The one she saw on Tsukishima's face was no different.

She didn't pry, knowing that whatever answer lied in his thoughts was something she wasn't supposed to know as of the moment. She couldn't help but be slightly curious, however, but right now, Tsukishima was probably praying that she would change the subject.

"So, what do we think about Rika from Class 1-3?" Shizuku looked at him with a grin. 

"Ah," He couldn't help but smile at what happened earlier. "She's a clever one, that girl." 

“She totally ratted you out to me back there.”

Tsukishima sighed. He hoped the warm broth was enough to be a cover-up for the reason why his face was growing warm. 

“Children say a lot of weird shit, and that includes things that aren’t true.”

“So you don’t want to date me then?”

Shizuku had no problem in making flirtatious comments towards others from time to time, as she used it to assess how comfortable other people were with her, but this one felt _risky_ , to say the least.

“I have absolutely no reason to do such a thing.” He gave her a look.

She merely laughed, dismissing how blunt Tsukishima was in delivering his answers. She focused on finishing her meal, ignoring how she could feel his eyes flicker in her direction every now and then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I based off the scene in the playground from that one from Ocean Waves (aka one of Ghibli's accidental queer films).


	10. Mirror

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shizuku finally gets to meet her (unexpected?) soulmate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song featured in this chapter:
> 
> Tulip by Indigo La End
> 
> Translations were mostly taken from [this](https://youtu.be/_n92u5Lug6I) Youtube Video

Shizuku stood by the entrance of the building as she waited for Tsukishima, having just received a message that he was already on his way to the library. Early afternoon sunlight bathed the pathway, the trees swaying with the occasional passing breeze. There were a few students out and about the area, most of them were heading to their classes.

Shizuku soon spotted Tsukishima walking towards her with his duffle bag slung over his shoulder, his loose white button down seemingly reflecting the sunlight. He raised an eyebrow at her.

“You could’ve started without me.”

There was that cologne _again_. Shizuku mentally cringed at how she was able to recognize the scent. She didn’t react to Tsukishima’s comment and simply turned to enter the library along with him. 

The library was empty at this hour, save for maybe the engineering and law students slaving away their time with their noses buried in their reading materials. Shizuku was just glad that they didn't have to look for vacant spots.

She sat diagonal to Tsukishima, feeling a bit uncomfortable with how narrow the table felt for two people to sit across from each other. Tsukishima didn’t seem bothered by this though, and he immediately got to work. He mumbled something about editing some parts of what he wrote the other day and asked Shizuku about some of the details she was able to get the other day when they were in Shinjuku.

“Most of the loud kids looked about six or seven,” Shizuku replied, typing it down on a separate document so she could add it in later. “They also seemed to be in mixed groups of girls and boys.”

Tsukishima hummed. “Are you adding in the incident with Rika?”

Shizuku sensed a subtle laughter in his voice. She smiled. “Of course I will, that was adorable.”

She gave him a look. “Should I add that thing she said to you while I was tying her hair?”

To this, Tsukishima’s expression changed, his amused smirk immediately turning into that of slightly uncomfortable frown.

“Leave that out.” 

It was firm and serious, and Shizuku had to bite back a grin as she mumbled an ‘okay’ before she resumed typing.

Tsukishima was still so bothered about what that little girl so brazenly said to him in front of Shizuku. Why was he feeling so guilty about the words of a literal seven-year-old?

It didn't helo that he grew restless at every passing minute. His thoughts kept going back from wanting to finish his part of the first chapter to how he had to single-handedly save himself from being called out by a child in front of his soulmate, who was currently too close to him for his liking.

Every once in a while he’d look up from his laptop, focusing his gaze elsewhere — the vacant tables in front of him, the book-lined shelves, anything — anything that wasn’t _her_.

Shizuku on the other hand, was oblivious to the turmoil going on in Tsukishima’s head as she continued on polishing the essay she had written. She had her chin on her knuckles as she proofread the last paragraph she wrote, making small edits here and there, humming softly along to the lo-fi music to fill in the gaps as she went through the words. 

It wasn’t until Tsukishima stood up from his chair that she was abruptly yanked away from her working momentum.

“I need to look for a reference,” he explained, before walking towards the far-end of the hallway behind Shizuku. He didn't wait for her to respond and disappeared in between the shelves.

She noticed that Tsukishima had his headphones on— the one she’d see around his neck whenever they passed by each other in the dorms and in the hallways.

She wondered about what kind of music he could be interested in. Not that she would actually ask, though. Knowing him, she would probably not get an answer without receiving a weird look. 

Not long after, Shizuku removed her earphones to rest a bit, massaging her temples as she reached for her water bottle to take a sip before going back to work.

That’s when she started hearing music.

She slowly twisted the cap back on as she straightened up, wanting to confirm her growing suspicion. Her chest began to feel tight — she could feel her heartbeat pounding against her rib cage as she searched for the source. There were students near her who had earphones on, but she was positive that it wasn’t coming from any of them.

Shizuku stood up, carefully lifting her chair so it wouldn’t make any unnecessary noise. She left her laptop on screensaver mode before beginning her search.

_Say what you say,_

_The only thing it causes_

_is to bring the end closer_

She almost laughed. She knew what she was hearing. _Tulip_ was one of the songs she used to listen to last year, probably a bit too much, if she were to be honest. Nothing she could really do since it helped her through the mountain that was her readings.

_I refuse your rejection_

_Not knowing your true intentions—_

_It makes me feel that there is someone else_

Shizuku had peeked at the small gaps between the first two shelves, left and right — there was no one, but with the music growing louder and her heart beating faster, she already knew what was about to happen.

_I still can’t clear my feelings,_

_Is that the only reason everything will end?_

Then she stopped. It was practically playing in her head now, crystal clear to her ears. She took a deep breath as she took another step forward.

_Saying good-bye won’t do anything,_

_So at least reassure me—_

Shizuku couldn’t believe her eyes. 

In front of her was Tsukishima — busy in his own world as he flipped through the book in his hands, _Tulip_ by Indigo La End playing through his headphones which she could now not hear over the sound of her heart pounding against her chest.

Shizuku didn’t know what to think. Tsukishima was the owner of that voice she heard roughly eight years ago, the one she had been waiting for all this time, and slowly, everything began making sense. She felt a rush of embarrassment upon recalling how she ridiculed Ichika's hunch not too long ago.

It didn’t take long for Tsukishima to notice her at the corner of his eye, and the music had now died down, only for it to start again. Shizuku wanted to smile. He had it on repeat.

“What?” His voice snapped Shizuku out of her thoughts. 

“I-” Shizuku’s voice was small and unsure. _What was she supposed to say?_

“I need to go to the washroom.”

_‘Wow. Excellent. Totally not suspicious and subtle.’_

Tsukishima narrowed his eyes at her, equally weirded out by the response. He nodded to dismiss her and went back to the book, missing how Shizuku literally dashed out of the hallway and to the nearest restroom.

No one was there to witness how she looked like a lost child as she stared at her reflection, taking the opportunity to splash her face with cold water from the faucet so she could at least _try_ and realize what just happened.

“He’s my soulmate,” She mumbled as she patted her skin dry with her handkerchief. A hand flew to her mouth as if she just uttered an expletive, the answer now indented in her brain. 

Shizuku wanted to scream. Her fifteen-year-old self would probably smack the back of her head for acting so obvious back there, but right now, she didn’t have the luxury of time to go on about it. She needed to go back to the table and work with Tsukishima. 

* * *

The train ride back home was, to say the least, the most awkward one she had since the start of her days in Tokyo. Shizuku couldn’t even have her card touch the reader without fumbling with it, not with her whole being now hyper aware of Tsukishima standing a bit too close to her as they headed back to the dorms.

It was a good thing that they finished early so they didn’t have to go through the hassle of commuting with rush hour passengers, and because Shizuku had the chance to sit a tad bit farther from Tsukishima. 

She put on her earphones in the middle of the ride because she really felt like she was going to lose it if she exposed herself any longer to what Tsukishima was listening to as he sat beside her.

Now the next problem Shizuku had to deal with was how to act around Tsukishima. She couldn’t afford to act all fidgety and nervous like she was right now, and to be honest it was starting to concern him because he had to ask her if she was alright when he noticed how fast she was walking.

On top of being a professional in riling people up and owning a frustratingly difficult-to-read behavior, Tsukishima was also painfully observant.

Shizuku thanked the heavens that her didn’t bat an eye at her before disappearing into his dorm room, leaving her in temporary comfort as she went up the stairs to the third floor.

Yachi didn’t miss her loudly saying ‘holy shit’ out of relief when she stopped by the rack to remove her shoes and change into her indoor slippers. Shizuku sent her and Ichika a message about what happened before they left the library. Yachi rushed to greet Shizuku, snorting when she saw the troubled look on her roommate’s face.

“So?”

Shizuku sighed. Her shoulders dropped.

“I need a drink.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so the plot thickens :D
> 
> I published this today since I'm starting college tomorrow and I *will* be busier, but rest assured that I will work on the next drafts in my free time. I've already planned out as far as Chapter 15 so stay tuned for the next ones :)


	11. The Seventh of November

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter of Tsukki and Shizuku roasting people in the cafe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation notes:
> 
> *嘘 - literally means "lie", but in a specific context, it can be understood as if you're saying "No way!"

_Café near University of Tokyo_

Shizuku stirred idly her matcha latte, the steam rising off the cup as she waited for it to cool down. She eyed the strawberry shortcake Tsukishima had in front of him. When questioned, he said it was about time to ‘indulge himself’. Whatever he meant by that was beyond her already.

“I read your writing last night,” Shizuku eyes flickered at him. “It was...interesting.”

Tsukishima’s raised brow encouraged her to explain.

“Interesting as in...you really don’t like to mince your words. In a good way, I mean.”

There was a hint of a smile as he sliced through the dessert. “I’m a biology major. That’s the exact purpose of an observation.”

Shizuku went back to her screen to add findings to the new file for their second location. Since the campus was off-limits, they opted to go to the café near it, as this was where a good percentage of the students hung out and studied in their free time outside. 

There was one table that Shizuku noticed as she was typing—a man and a woman—they didn't seem to be students and it looked like they were on a date. It wasn’t too far, but it wasn’t also near enough for her to hear what they were talking about.

“So, who will our next victim be?” Tsukishima caught on to where Shizuku was glancing at every now and then.

“It’s the guy next to us,” She whispered. She told Tsukishima to give them a subtle look so as to not draw their attention.

“What about him?”

“Striped shirt, cuffed jeans, Doc Martens; a pen and a Moleskine on the table but no visible calluses on his fingers,” Shizuku took a comical whiff of the air. “...and the typical cologne scent. The textbook description of a softboy.”

“A pretty narcissist, in other words.” Tsukishima said. 

Shizuku looked at him, thinking of what to say next. "Can you tell me why?"

“More than half of the time, if you’ve been listening closely, it’s just him talking the girl’s ear off about stuff he does, what he's into—which she's obviously _not into_. We arrived here later than they did, and since I’ve ordered this shortcake, the only words I heard so far from said girl are a bunch of "ohs", "ahs", and "is that so's". I've yet to overhear a whole sentence that isn't from the guy she's with. She has already tried to tell her own stories but he manages to relate it to himself again. He's clearly not interested in making an opening for her, because right now," Tsukishima gave the other table a quick glance. "He's still in control. A classic conversational narcissist.”

Shizuku smiled. “I feel like that’s the most words I’ve gotten from you.”

Tsukishima narrowed his eyes at her. She bit back a grin, affirming him that she was going to add that in their paper. She mumbled herself (or so she thought) as she continued typing.

“I sure hope my soulmate isn’t like that.”

Tsukishima looked at her upon hearing it. He immediately averted his eyes and returned their focus on his own screen, putting on his usual teasing tone as he spoke.

“So you haven’t found them yet.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Shizuku lied, lightly chewing on her bottom lip, gaze glued to her laptop as she was unable to meet his. She could feel him staring her down from across the table. She thought about what to do to turn the awkward atmosphere around.

“But that’s what’s unfair about it—you don’t get to know them _before_ knowing they’re your soulmate and,” she took a sip from her drink. “You have to tell each other. Until then, it’s not going to be a mutually accepted fact.”

Tsukishima was quiet. 

“How about you?”

He was quick to part his gaze from hers.

“I know who they are—”

“嘘,”* Shizuku looked at him, surprised.

“But they don’t know it yet.”

The shocked look on her face faded. “Then what are you doing? You’re gonna test them or something? See if you like them or not?”

Tsukishima chuckled. “I guess you can call it that.”

“What’s the big deal? Why aren’t you telling them?”

In truth, Shizuku was growing slightly cautious about how inquisitive she was getting, but so far, Tsukishima didn’t look like he was bothered with the consecutive questions at all.

“They might not like me.”

Shizuku felt her heart sink a little at his response. She rested her chin on her knuckles, silently wondering why his statement sounded sad.

“Why’s that?”

Tsukishima looked at her, examining her reaction before he spoke again. He sighed and put on a relaxed smile.

“I’m intimidating and if I’m quoting Hinata—I’m the human definition of a salt shaker.”

She snorted, covering her mouth as she held back her laughter. 

“A salt shaker,” Shizuku echoed.

“It’s not like he’s wrong.” He retorted.

“Well,” Shizuku straightened herself up. “You’re _not very_ intimidating. Moody, yes, but not scary.”

“What are you trying to say?”

She leaned in, her laptop now closed. “If it assures you in any way, I don’t think you’re that bad. In fact," she paused, eyes travelling to focus on her fingers tracing the rim of the saucer of her cup before looking up at him again. "I kinda like that about you.”

Tsukishima was internally screaming, cursing at how suddenly unresponsive he was with Shizuku’s words and how he was practically _letting her_ bat her lashes at him like that. He could barely manage to roll his eyes to dismiss what she said.

Shizuku counted this as the second time she was able to playfully flirt with Tsukishima. It was amusing—he was trying his best not to react, but the reddening tips of his ears were already a dead giveaway. She knew that underneath that steely facade was a brain currently going overdrive. 

Then again, she had no confirmation if she was who Tsukishima was referring to a while ago, because it was possible—you could be soulmates with someone, but they could also turn out to be connected to someone else. 

She understood why Tsukishima didn’t want to disclose it to whoever it was for him—there was a certain comfort in it, but with that, comes also the itching, irritating feeling of wanting to make the other person aware of who they were to you. And that feeling was mutual.

 _‘But not now,’_ they thought.

Before the sky darkened, Tsukishima and Shizuku called it a day and headed to the train station. 

Halfway through the trip back to the dorms though, Shizuku started dozing off. Tsukishima watched as her head would occasionally nod off when she leaned too far in front, and each time it happened, she’d let out a small whimper.

He didn’t dare wake her up to offer his shoulder, because _no_ —they weren’t at that level of closeness yet, and the possibility of Shizuku drooling on his coat didn’t sound too appealing to him.

The passenger car wasn’t crowded but it wasn’t spacious either, and eventually, when the train swayed on a slight curve of the rail, Shizuku ended up leaning on him. 

“Oi, get up.” He whispered, nudging his shoulder ever so slightly. She didn’t wake up.

Tsukishima could hear Shizuku’s quiet breathing, her chest rising and falling in rhythm. He caught a whiff of her shampoo—floral and sweet—and her dark hair looked soft to the touch. Long, elegant fingers rested on her laptop case, twitching every once in a while as induced by state of temporary unconsciousness. 

He gave up and relented, now carrying the responsibility of keeping her asleep until they reached their stop.

Shizuku drove him up a wall today alright, and whether she was aware of it or not, he wasn’t going to let that pass so easily. He was going to get her back for it in some way.

But right now, as he let her rest against him, Tsukishima held onto what she said in the café, sighing when he can’t help but smile to himself as he recalled it over and over again for the rest of the ride.


	12. Just a Friend (I)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukki and Shizuku go grocery shopping for Yamaguchi's birthday party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation notes:
> 
> * Nabepa - short for "nabe party"; hot pot party

_November 10, Yamaguchi’s Birthday_

Yachi dropped off Shizuku and Tsukishima at a local supermarket along with a list. She reminded them to not forget to pick up frozen fries before she drove off to accomplish her own task of buying cake for later. 

Tsukishima wordlessly grabbed a cart upon entering and Shizuku walked beside him, observing a healthy distance from him as she went over the paper Yachi left for them.

On it were the ingredients for _nabepa_ *, and other things she needed to buy. Money wasn’t going to be a problem as Yachi made sure to cover the expenses for the small surprise party she intended to throw for her boyfriend.

 _Ah,_ all in the name of love.

“We need things for the broth first,” Shizuku mumbled. Tsukishima loomed over her as he took a look for himself. His eyes narrowed slightly as he spoke.

“A premade one would be better, that way we could save time. We just have to pick something from a good brand.”

They turned around the corner and went to the designated aisle. Tsukishima kept a moderate pace as he pushed the cart alongside her.

Shizuku couldn’t seem to stay calm internally, however — it had only been a few days since she learned that that guy — the same guy who had been sitting next to her in Japanese literature all this time, and who was currently comparing the prices of two tofu packs on her left — was her soulmate.

Tsukishima was taking his time, so she told him she was going to check off some of the items on her own and come back to where he was stopped.

Shizuku let out a sigh of relief as she finally got to venture to the produce section, just a few meters away from where he stood. She had a faraway look in her eyes while she (fake) examined a few carrots and cabbages. 

So he’s her soulmate. Question is, does she actually like him?

For the majority of Shizuku’s life, she never claimed to have fallen in love — she did have her fair share of crushes — mostly caused by things about people she found admirable — be it their fashion sense, facial features, attitude, but the feeling of attachment and a sense of a lifetime commitment was never really there.

Tsukishima, well — he was, more or less, a special case to Shizuku. Special as in, _“I’ll put you aside for further scrutiny because you confuse me to no end and make me question the rules I made for self-preservation.”_ How he made her inner composure tremble at his fleeting, effortless smiles was beyond anyone’s — hers included — comprehension. While she knew that she was able to poke fun at and flirt with Tsukishima every now and then, Shizuku still needed more time to confirm what she felt towards him.

Tsukishima soon caught up to her at the produce section. Shizuku glanced at the contents of the cart, making a mental remark at how fast he was in doing his part of the task before adding in the vegetables she picked out. The last item on the list was strawberries — no description attached whatsoever to give information about what it was for. 

Shizuku held two packs in either hands as she investigated them. She failed to notice that Tsukishima was looming over her already, his frame now near hers as he weighed in his opinion.

“Just pick one and let’s get going.” He quirked a brow at her, impatience lacing his voice. Shizuku ignored him.

“Hold on, these look slightly different to me, but I just...can’t seem to point out which is better.”

Tsukishima let out a sigh — a heavy, obviously restless one to be exact. There was no reason for Shizuku to get caught up with a literal pack of fresh fruit, and he was becoming increasingly antsy about not finishing according to the time Yachi had given them for this task. After much thought, he took Shizuku’s wrists and pulled her closer to look at the packs himself. He heard her gasp quietly at the sudden contact, but he didn't dare look at her face — which was probably as flushed as his was. The soft, barely audible jazz music of the store filled the growing tension between them. It was almost annoying.

Shizuku could feel tingles where Tsukishima’s long, callused fingers were wrapped around, as her sleeve rode up quite a bit when he yanked her towards him. Despite that, his grip felt gentle.

It took a while for her to process that he had already let go of her hand. He swiftly took the one on the left and added it into the cart. He turned on his heel and headed to the cashier.

Shizuku let out a silent huff as she followed suit, eyeing suspiciously of what looked to be a bunch of middle schoolers giggling at the small incident. Tsukishima didn’t seem to notice as he passed them by.

The supermarket wasn’t that packed so they were able to get their items checked out earlier than expected by a kind, middle-aged woman at cashier 10. They took turns unloading the things on the conveyor belt. Shizuku stood beside Tsukishima as they waited for everything to be punched in.

She didn’t want to point it out, but the lady was glancing at the both of them from time to time, the polite smile on her face not fading as she rang up the items. She knew Tsukishima had picked up on this too, because he soon cautiously folded his arms over his chest.

Then came the question.

“Are you newlyweds?”

If choking on nothing was a real medical phenomenon, Shizuku and Tsukishima might have been the first unrecorded cases. A short two seconds of realization came between them, both unable to come up with a coherent answer to prove that she was incorrect. Shizuku let out a conspicuous, nervous laugh. She shook her hands to emphasize her answer.

“No, we’re not—”

“We’re not yet—”

She shot a look at Tsukishima who was equally flustered. He looked back at Shizuku, to the lady, back at Shizuku again, and then as his last resort, at the floor.

What did he mean by _‘not yet’_ ? Not yet _what_?

In the end, the lady dismissed the matter, waving them off as they thanked her after paying for everything. Shizuku took half of the bags and followed Tsukishima to the automatic doors. 

She was the first to react.

“Pfft—”

She burst out in laughter and so did Tsukishima, his arms wrapping around his torso, both of them cackling in the quiet alley like two grade schoolers. 

Consecutive giggles seeped in between Shizuku’s incoherent words — something about looking like a married woman despite obviously not wearing a ring; her hand reaching up to wipe the tears at the corner of her eyes. Tsukishima coughed and tried play off his own amusement. Shizuku soon remembered what she was supposed to say next, although still unable to talk properly. “Why did you say ‘not yet’? You made it worse!” 

Tsukishima jutted a finger at her. “I thought _you_ were gonna say it! But no, you went ahead and let me take the brunt of it all.”

“So you were bothered?”

There was a look of indignance on his face. “Obviously, yes!”

“Well, I wasn’t going to notice it.” Shizuku shrugged.

"Wow," Tsukishima scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Thanks.”

Yachi arrived a couple minutes later, telling them to hurry so they could make it to Shinjuku in time. They loaded the bags in before they settled inside.

Before Yachi could start driving, however, she noticed both Shizuku and Tsukishima fumbling with the seatbelts, trying to figure out which latch went where. She watched them sneakily in the rear view mirror with amused eyes. When they were done, she turned to look at them from her seat.

“You guys okay?”

Shizuku heard the teasing tone in her roommate’s voice. Tsukishima caught on to this as well.

Oh, how Yachi wanted to take a photo of their blushing faces right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loosely based on [ this ](https://youtu.be/cFJIflifaWk) adorable video
> 
> Am I an Ucchi simp? Yes, yes I am 😌


	13. Just a Friend (II)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song featured in this chapter:
> 
> 400 Lux by Lorde
> 
> lyrics were taken from [ this ](https://genius.com/Lorde-400-lux-lyrics) site

Tsukishima and Shizuku were stationed at the door with small confetti poppers as they waited for Yachi, who guided a clueless Yamaguchi to his own dorm room. Hinata and Kageyama were also able to attend despite their busy schedules, and were the ones holding the small banner Yachi had made especially for today.

When the door opened, Yamaguchi took off the cloth around his eyes and was greeted by all of them a happy birthday, the freckled boy grinning widely as he thanked them for the small surprise. They all did their part in cooking and gathered in the dining room for _nabepa_ right after. 

Shizuku was the last to arrive at the table. She was slightly suspicious about how it came to be that the only vacant seat was the one next to Tsukishima. She shot Yachi a look. She only gave Shizuku a subtle, knowing smile.

Shizuku didn’t dare bat an eye at Tsukishima as she sat down and joined the others in saying their grace before partaking in the meal. She knew she had to be careful with her movements since there wasn’t much room between her and Tsukishima, and bumping elbows with him was the last thing she wanted to happen.

The level of panicked awareness in Shizuku was the same for Tsukishima. He could only let out a near-inaudible sigh when he picked up on Yamaguchi pointing at Shizuku with his eyes. He silently prayed that she wouldn’t notice how his best friend was literally torturing him from across the table as she filled up her bowl before passing the ladle to Hinata.

They exchanged stories as they ate — college, volleyball, Hinata and Kageyama’s experience overseas — pretty soon they were finished and alcohol was already being passed around the table.

“We should play volleyball together again, don’t you think?” Hinata proposed, his brows raised.

“Against who?” Tsukishima looked at him.

Kageyama nodded at Shizuku. “Do you still play?”

Shizuku took a sip of her drink before setting it back down, now accustomed to the burn.

“Not really, but if you want to, I could join.”

Yamaguchi interjected. “Ichika told me she used to set for Niiyama High. Maybe you could ask her to come?”

“Okay, okay, I’ll let her know.” Shizuku smiled. “All we need is a spiker.”

Tsukishima glanced at her. "How about Amanai- _san_?”

“Isn’t she part of the V League? I don’t want to impose, she might be busy with practice.”

Hinata bounced in his seat. “I’ll spike for your team if she can’t make it! You’re roommates with Kyoutani, right?” He looked at Tsukishima. “Ask him to join us when we set the date.”

“Alright.”

After a few more drinks, they eventually got to the topic of soulmates. Shizuku was now feeling a bit dizzy, and her cheeks were tinted a light pink as she tried her best to listen to the conversation, no matter how much of a sensitive topic it was to her (because goddamn it, why did she have to sit next to him?). It was a good thing Yachi wasn’t trying to tease her anymore, because God help her if the others pick up on it and the focus of the discussion pivots to her.

“I haven’t heard anything yet,” Kageyama spoke, his eyes a bit droopy. “So for now volleyball is still my soulmate.”

“Me too, me too!” Hinata exclaimed. He drunkenly raised his arm with his bottle in his hand to emphasize his agreement. Shizuku giggled at this, and unfortunately, what she prayed for in her head was not materialized when Hinata looked at her.

“How about you, Shizuku?”

She cleared her throat. She could feel Tsukishima’s gaze on her in the corner of her eye. A nervous laugh escaped from her throat. 

“Does Yachi count?”

It _was_ true — Yachi is her platonic soulmate, and she, Yachi’s — the two of them soon learned that within the first few weeks of their cohabitation when Shizuku heard her listening to Coldplay during one of their study sessions. 

Yachi laughed. “We all know what Hinata’s asking about.”

“ _Yaachiiii_ ,” Shizuku drawled out, the alcohol finally getting to her. She sighed in defeat, pouting as she did. Her eyes were directed elsewhere

“I haven’t found them yet.”

This was the second time she had to lie this week. Shizuku could feel the guilt engulfing her faster than the dizziness in her head as Hinata continued to quiz her even after repeating the bluff she had to make. She couldn't even think about what would happen if Tsukishima eventually found out about her little secret.

“What if it’s Tsukishima?”

The whole table fell silent when Kageyama blurted those words out. Shizuku didn't know what was worse: her inability to outright refute his guess or the serious look of inquiry on Kageyama's face. It took a full three seconds of her staring widely at the dark haired boy as she tried to form a coherent answer.

“Oi, watch it.” Tsukishima grumbled.

Even Yachi and Yamaguchi were quiet. They shot each other a look as they watched everything unfold in front of them. Yachi was pretty sure her roommate’s brain was now blue-screening.

In the end, Shizuku shrugged and gave Kageyama a small smile. Her voice was quiet when she answered.

“We’re just friends.”

She hoped her obvious state of tipsiness was enough to send the message that she didn’t want to elaborate further. Truth to be told, she didn't even know if that's what Tsukishima also thought of her. She figured that that would just have to do for now.

Yachi cleared her throat.

“Anyone want to go for a drive?”

* * *

Hinata and Kageyama left early since they had practice the day after tomorrow, so it was only Shizuku and Tsukishima who went with Yachi and Yamaguchi to drive around Shinjuku after dinner. 

The air was cold when they went to where Yachi’s car was parked. Yamaguchi called shotgun while Shizuku and Tsukishima got into their original seats when they arrived earlier. When she felt the car starting up, she leaned against the headrest, waiting until the vehicle began to move.

Reds, yellows, and whites contrasted against the dark sky, the colors blending in a bright frenzy as Yachi drove down the highway. She turned on the radio before the stoplight went green, the familiar siren intro of Lorde’s _400 Lux_ filling the small space. She and Shizuku had curated this playlist specifically for their night drives, all composed of songs that was perfect for crusing through the busy city of Tokyo late in the evening. Despite the current song being in English, the times Yachi and Shizuku listened to it was enough for them to be able to sing each line of it.

_We're never done with killing time_

_Can I kill it with you?_

_'Til the veins run red and blue—_

“I love this song!” Shizuku exclaimed, her intoxicated-induced honesty making the others laugh. Even Tsukishima wasn’t able to hold back a grin at how unintentionally honest she was getting.

_You drape your wrists over the steering wheel_

_Pulses can drive from here_

_We might be hollow, but we're brave_

The wind gushed in and past them since the windows were open and rolled down. Shizuku’s hair was swept away from her face; dark tresses like wildfire as the neon lights surrounding them illuminated her features. She had her gaze on the road, far and distant. Tsukishima couldn’t help but stare. 

“ _I love these roads where the houses don't change,_ ” Yachi sang out.

“ _and I like you!_ ” Shizuku answered, pointing at her from her seat. 

“I don’t mean anything by that!” She followed up. Yamaguchi laughed, knowing it was him he was talking to.

“Oh, Shizuku.” He smiled and shook his head as he looked at her from the rearview mirror.

_(You buy me orange juice)_

_We're getting good at this_

It wasn’t long before she felt Tsukishima’s eyes on her, her soft singing trailing off as she returned the gesture. The faint, disembodied lights were Shizuku’s sole aid in seeing him through the darkness of the car. 

_I love these roads where the houses don't change (and I like you)_

_Where we can talk like there's something to say (and I like you)_

He looked a bit surprised, almost as if he was caught in the middle of something, but with Shizuku currently incapable of overanalyzing his expression, she merely gave him a soft smile, lashes clouding her view of him as she did so. 

_I'm glad that we stopped kissing the tar on the highway (and I like you)_

_We move in the tree streets_

_I'd like it if you stayed_

Tsukishima felt his chest constrict, breathing getting caught up as he looked at her. She soon broke it off, gaze now back outside the window to the swiftly passing buildings.

_And I like you_

_And I like you_

Yachi circled back when they were done driving around their last destination, Yokohama. She had to drop off Tsukishima and Shizuku at the station in Shinjuku since she planned to stay with Yamaguchi over the weekend. They arrived just in time for the last trip. 

Shizuku ended up falling asleep on their way back to Bunkyo. Her head found its place on Tsukishima’s shoulder once again, but this time, he didn’t try to shake her off or wake her up. 

Instead, Tsukishima raised a hand towards her face, gently cupping her cheek as he adjusted her head so she could get a bit comfortable. He felt her lean against his palm before quickly retracting it back to his lap. He sighed, leaning against the window as the train began to move.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last consecutive update for this week! My classes will formally start tomorrow, so I figured I'd leave this one before my schedule gets incredibly busy. (Online classes suck lol)


	14. Sumida River (I)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh wow look, a surprise update :0
> 
> Classes ended earlier than I expected so I got to work on this during my free time. Sumida River (II) will NOT follow this chapter, as that is planned to be published some time in the future according to the outline I planned. Take that as you will.
> 
> I based the last few parts of the match on [ this ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ktaWiNO21E) video.
> 
> tw//slight profanity (by "slight" I mean one (1) curse word)

It was the following week when they got to play volleyball. 

Shizuku’s senior jersey still fit her even after four years had passed. She made sure to keep it in good condition since Niiyama High qualified for Nationals every year they joined. 

A rush of old memories came flooding in when she got changed. The loud cheers of the crowd, the smell of Salonpas relief patches, the ball hitting against her bare hands. She recalled them all as Ichika braided her hair before their small game started.

“I would have had my hair chopped off if I knew we were going to play again,” She said, tying off the second bunch with a hair tie. She patted Shizuku’s shoulders and pulled her knee pads up her legs.

“Are you gonna be fine?”

Shizuku looked at Ichika from the mirror while she adjusted her arm sleeves.

“What do you mean?”

“You know you’re going against a near two-meter blocker, right? And we’ve never played against guys before.”

“Relax. No matter how the crow caws, the mountain cannot bow down to it.”

Ichika stood there for a while as Shizuku reached for the door to exit the locker room.

“Is that a Mulan reference?”

* * *

Hinata ended up playing on Shizuku and Ichika’s side as they went against Kageyama, Kyoutani, and Tsukishima. Yachi and Yamaguchi officiated the game. They decided to play three sets, with fifteen as the deciding score of whoever comes out as the winner in the last set.

Shizuku stood right across Tsukishima when they took their positions in their respective sides of the court. 

“Let’s see if Niiyama High lives up to its name.” He taunts, smirking at her. 

Shizuku could feel her competitive streak awaken from Tsukishima’s words. Nothing ignites it more than when their opponent starts jabbing at the image their team had proven so many times.

“Wanna bet?”

Shizuku’s team took the first point with a quick attack from Hinata. He immediately warmed up to Ichika from then on, saying that her setting reminds him of the kind of precision Kageyama had back in high school.

“Aw, you flatter me too much,” Ichika laughed, waving a hand at Hinata.

It was a fast rally from then on. Both teams weren’t able to consecutively score more than two since they kept on answering back with everything they had, finishing the first set with Shizuku’s team in the lead.

“After four years, I still got it,” Shizuku said, patting the sweat away from her face as they took their first 30-second timeout.

“Have you ever done a decoy before?”

Ichika and Shizuku shot a look at each other, then to Hinata. 

“We have but...” Shizuku glanced at Tsukishima from the other side of the court. “Tsukishima will read it before one of us can take the shot.”

Hinata grinned, his eyes sparkling with mischievousness. “Don’t worry, I know how to work around that.”

Their plan was set into motion from the start of the first set. It was an unintentional advantage to have Hinata do most of the attacking, because in the middle of the second set, they had Ichika set to Shizuku instead of him. She turned to do a back set at the last second as she sent the ball flying to an unmanned part of the opposite court.

Tsukishima, who ran all the way to attempt a block, had his hands rest habitually on his hips as he narrowed his eyes at Shizuku. He tutted as he passed by her as they made the rotation.

“Cheeky.”

Shizuku responded with a quick, daring wink.

The other team made a comeback in the second set, making the third one the last final attempt to win the game. Kyoutani took the first two points with his cross court shots, both of which slipping right through Shizuku and Ichika’s two-person block. 

At this point, Shizuku had a few of her fingers taped together, now feeling the strain after getting numerous consecutive one-touches over the past two sets. 

She kept in mind what Hinata joked about before they started—that Tsukishima “didn’t have the best stamina” as much as he did back in high school, but Ichika countered this by saying they shouldn’t be lenient if they wanted to win. 

They soon took their positions and started at the sound of Yachi’s whistle.

As expected, it was still a tight game. They worked their way through the first ten points until they reached a tie at fourteen. By this time, Shizuku felt as if her whole lower body was weighing her down, but she fought through it, blocking every attack from time to time, ignoring the dull ache in her arms and legs. 

Kyoutani was an aggressive spiker, and most of the time she would settle for a soft block than a full on cross-court one. She didn’t want to wake up with bruises on her arms the next morning.

Kageyama served, flying off to Shizuku to receive, which she passed to Ichika for Hinata to spike. He took the shot, but Tsukishima ran to answer it. Kageyama set it to Kyoutani for a quick attack, but Ichika was fast enough to keep it in play. She tossed it to Shizuku, throwing it to the other side as a chance ball.

Tsukishima answered, Kageyama set, and Kyoutani spiked once again, only to be tossed back in the air by Hinata, shouting on top of his lungs for Ichika. 

That was it. 

Ichika ran near to the net, palmed and forced the ball upwards. It reached a fifty-fifty point at the net, teetering just at the edge that separated both the teams.

Shizuku jumped for the last time, knowing it was going to be a joust between her and Tsukishima. Her feet sent her up the same time as he did, then it felt like everything stopped—or at least, that was how it felt like.

Shizuku and Tsukishima were face to face; hands on either side of the ball in an attempt to have it land on either of the opposite floors.

His eyes met hers in an instant, momentarily snatching away his ability to breath. 

Tsukishima didn’t even see it coming. Shizuku was fast to react—she maneuvered the ball to the left while he was distracted and his grip loosened for a split second. Yachi whistled as Hinata punched his fists into the air. They won the game, 15 to 14. 

On the other side of the court, Kageyama approached Tsukishima, who had his gaze at the ball still.

“Hey,” He called out. “I saw that.”

Tsukishima huffed. “Saw what?”

“You looking at Shizuku.” Kyoutani interjected.

Tsukishima stiffened, turning around to make sure she wasn’t around anywhere near them. He was already so aggravated to have let her get through him like that, but maybe it wasn’t enough and Kageyama decided to rile him up further. 

“I’m a blocker, that’s what I do.” Tsukishima didn’t spare his teammates another glance as he made his way quickly to the showers. That was enough teasing for today.

“Has he always been like that around her?” Kageyama turned to Kyoutani. The latter laughed.

“All the time.”

_Two Days Later_

Shizuku and Tsukishima went to Sumida park for the third chapter of their paper. The sun beat down on the pavement; cherry blossom trees now a warm mix of orange and brown. The air was crisp, blowing every once in a while to cause the branches above them to rustle. They’ve just finished collecting data and were now resting on one of the benches that overlooked the river.

“I woke up with bruises all over my body,” Shizuku laughed. She pulled down one of her sleeves to show Tsukishima a couple that littered her arm. “This isn’t even comparable to the ones I used to get back in high school.”

“Haven’t you been playing earlier than that?” He raised a brow at her. She shook her head.

“I only started in high school. Any earlier than that I was still taking English speaking classes my mom used to force me to attend." 

Tsukishima waited for her to explain.

“No one in my family was into volleyball so I was surprised to find out that I even had an athletic bone in my body to begin with.” Shizuku sipped on her boba tea. “I had no one to look up to so I said, ‘you know what, fuck it, I’ll play however I need to.’”

“But no one supported you.”

“I didn’t need to be held back by that. I grew to love volleyball — with or without the support."

Shizuku smiled as she recalled her days as a freshman. Even with the absence of her parents’ involvement in the sport she dedicated four years of her life to, she held it near to her heart just like the first time she stepped on that shiny, hardwood floor. 

Tsukishima couldn’t help but be reminded of his own experience — those days where he tried so hard to suppress his every movement, every expression of joy and anger — all because he was so caught up in the disappointment of seeing his brother fail to uphold the image he had faked. 

For the first time, Tsukishima's mouth opened faster than his mind could stop him.

“Remember that match I watched with Yamaguchi?”

Shizuku cocked her head to the side, visibly confused.

“It was my brother’s match — he attended Karasuno in high school and got into the volleyball team. I didn’t know that he was lying about being an ace until I saw him in that game. Not on the court, but right across from where I stood to watch. Ever since that day I just stopped trying so hard."

“Did you ever grow out of it?”

“All it took was that one block against Ushijima to slap some sense into me.” 

“That’s a really good example of poetic justice.” Shizuku mused out loud. Tsukishima hid the small smile on his face.


	15. All too Sudden

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> t/w: mentions of knee scrapes, nothing too extreme
> 
> Translation notes:  
> * 誰だ? - in this context, it means "who am i?"
> 
> i also made reference to movie _The Good Dinosaur_ (dir. P. Sohn, 2015) as well as a few of the characters there. you'll know why *wink*

Today was their second visit to the playground in Shinjuku. 

They planned to have three visits to each of the locations they’ve been to, with a total of nine chapters to be written about their observations. Shizuku figured that should be enough considering the time that they have, and because they’ve mutually agreed to finish at least one-third of the work before winter break starts.

Rika was quick to recognize them when they arrived, so the moment she noticed they were both done working in front of their laptops, she immediately let them know that she intended to drag them off to where she was playing with her friends. 

“Us? Join you guys?” Shizuku’s brows shot up as if to confirm Rika’s request. She gave Tsukishima a wary glance to gauge his reaction. He was equally shocked. _Disturbed_ , more like.

“I think we’re too old for _Kagome Kagome_.” Tsukishima added.

Rika clasped her hands together. “Please?” She pouted, putting on her best puppy dog eyes. 

Shizuku internally cursed. There was no way she could deny this girl anything now. She sighed, finally giving up. “Just five rounds, alright?”

“Okay!” Rika beamed, turning to Tsukishima this time. “Can Kei- _nii chan_ be the _oni_?”

Shizuku snorted. Tsukishima narrowed his eyes at the nickname. “Why?”

“You have blonde hair! The rest of us have black hair so you should go first.”

“Do it for the paper,” She mumbled. Tsukishima sighed, a small smile on his face.

“Fine.”

After asking for all the other girls’ names, Tsukishima removed his glasses for his first turn, swallowing the cringe budding in him as he came down to a squat, covering his eyes as he felt the group revolve around him. 

While they chanted, he tried to come up with a way to outsmart his way out of the _oni_ position. The only problem was, he had never played _Kagome Kagome_ enough to know how to guess without using his eyes, plus, he’s not too familiar with the voices of these girls save for Shizuku’s. 

He really should have played more games aside from volleyball as a kid.

“誰だ*?” 

“Hana- _chan_?”

“Wrong!”

They went like that for three more times, with Tsukishima calling out the wrong name over and over. Shizuku and the others couldn’t even chant without laughing in between the lyrics.

Before they could get to the fourth round however, a loud wail suddenly cut through the quiet atmosphere. Tatsuki sat on the ground, crying as he held his legs that each had bright red gashes. He must have fallen off the swing.

Shizuku immediately rummaged her bag for the purse where she kept a small bottle of disinfectant and a few cotton pads. She never really thought the day would come where she’d actually use it on someone besides herself. 

After having Tatsuki calm down, Shizuku had him sit next to Tsukishima on the bench as the group followed them, worried for their friend. She carefully cleaned the wound, taking extra caution not to press on the tender areas too hard. She was missing one last thing, however.

Shizuku turned to Tsukishima. “Do you have bandaids?”

He paused to think if he had them before fishing in the pocket of his bag. He took out a few strips and handed them to her. Shizuku had to hold back a grin. What was he doing carrying around bandaids with _The Good Dinosaur_ designs on them?

Tatsuki’s face immediately lit up upon seeing the design.

“I know that movie! I watched it with my family when it came out.”

“Do you know what kind of dinosaur Arlo is?” Tsukishima peeked at him.

“An Apatosaurus!”

“What about Butch?”

“That’s an easy one—a Tyrannosaurus Rex. I like the Brachiosaurus, though. They’re tall and they only eat plants!”

There was an unmistakable twinkle in Tsukishima’s eyes as he let Tatsuki ramble on, and Shizuku would be lying if she said she didn’t enjoy seeing him get like this around a bunch of children.

“What happened to that?”

Shizuku was in the middle of putting away her things when she heard Aya gasp. She was pointing at her arms. 

Bruises showed up from her wrists to her forearm a day after their brutal 3v3 match with Tsukishima and the others. Kyoutani’s cross court shots really did a big number on her.

“It’s nothing,” She instinctively rubbed the skin littered with patches of lilac and blue, some of them starting to fade. “I haven’t played volleyball in a while so it’s expected.”

“They look like they hurt a lot.” Shouta commented.

“Kei- _nii chan_ should kiss it.”

“What?”

Shizuku awkwardly laughed, turning her head to look at Rika. Tsukishima was right. Rika is clever. Almost _too_ clever.

“Why not?” Rika cocked her head to the side. “That’s what my mom does when I scrape my knees so they heal faster.”

“Knee scrapes are different from bruises, though.” Shizuku countered.

“But they both hurt so they’re still the same.”

At this rate, Rika wasn’t going to give it up soon, so Tsukishima brought the tips of his fingers to his lips and patted them on Shizuku’s forearms. He didn’t spare her a glance when she whipped her head to him.

“There, happy?”

“No, you should kiss it directly!”

_Ah, this girl._

Tsukishima let out an audible sigh. Shizuku could feel her cheeks burning as he pensively took her forearms, eyes reluctantly searching hers to ask for permission. _He’s really going to...?_

“You know she won’t stop if I don’t do this, right?”

Shizuku hung her head low in defeat, surrendering her forearms to Tsukishima. 

“Just do what you have to do.”

She looked away after saying that, internally screaming as his lips made contact with each arm, his eyes not leaving her face as he did so. Why did he have to look at her while doing that?

* * *

They left the playground before five in the afternoon, waving good-bye to the children as they walked back to the station. They got the train pretty quickly before rush hour started.

Tsukishima glanced at Shizuku, grimacing at the haphazardly-made accessory she donned proudly as she walked beside him. Rika, Aya, and the other girls bashfully gave her a flower crown made out of dandelions, which was supposedly a token for Shizuku since she agreed to play with them all afternoon.

“Are you gonna wear that until we get back to Bunkyo?”

Tsukishima was gifted a crown as well, but he only wore it once before they left the playground, because God forbid he make the children cry if he didn't. 

Shizuku shrugged. “Maybe. I like it. It feels nice. Smells nice, too.”

“But they’re weeds…” Tsukishima trailed off, gaze still focused on her head.

“Who cares. I love those kids. They make me feel like I have little siblings.”

He looked at her. “You’re an only child?"

Shizuku nodded. “Yeah. My parents leave the country often so they figured having only one kid is the best choice.”

“Lucky.”

“Not really. I had no one to play with.”

There was a pause.

"You said you had a brother, right?"

Tsukishima nodded.

"A shame I won't meet him since I'm not coming home to Miyagi in the winter break." 

Even though she turned to him with a smile, Tsukishima didn't miss to notice the momentary downcast look on Shizuku's face. He didn't bring it up. 

It was already a few minutes before six when they arrived in Bunkyo, and the platform was already full due to the rush hour. Shizuku slid her hands in her coat pockets, furrowing her chin deeper behind the scarf she wore. Tsukishima walked in front of her.

A chilly breeze brushed past them. Her eyes wandered off into the distance, spotting the moon high up in the horizon. It loomed over the skyscrapers with its soft, golden glow. There were no stars tonight. Just the moon, all by itself.

Tsukishima stopped when he no longer heard footsteps behind him.

He turned to look at Shizuku, who had currently stopped to lean by the railing, her gaze pointed skyward.

"The moon is beautiful tonight, isn't it?"

Shizuku's gaze was unyielding. Her gloved hands remained on the metal bar, body unmoving as if she were drawn to the glowing orb against the dark blue canvas.

To Tsukishima, it was nothing particularly special. Every once in a while clouds would obscure it, ruining the experience of observing from afar. He didn’t say anything and instead walked over to where Shizuku stood.

He could feel his heart pounding against his chest, mind nearing overdrive due to the small proximity between them.

Something about what Shizuku said felt different to him — the calm yet awe-filled tone of her voice seemed to ignite a dormant emotion in him — an emotion he couldn’t quite explain yet he knew fully how it felt. 

Tsukishima sighed, his breath coming out in a faint white cloud. The air felt thin but standing beside her made him feel as if he were overwhelmed with a strange unknown warmth.

“It is,” He breathed out, his eyes now on Shizuku.

She smiled. It was bashful and soft, enough for the corners of her eyes to crinkle at the slightest. Tsukishima’s gaze lingered on Shizuku, from her long lashes to her lips — he felt himself inching painfully slowly towards her, eyes lidded and nebulous — then he stopped.

He stopped and pulled back.

_This is wrong._

He didn’t know who Shizuku was fated to, and if he kissed her, it would undoubtedly ruin the kind of trust they already had between each other. Even though he knew who Shizuku was to him, that still wouldn’t cancel out the possibility that she could be for someone else. He was in no position to try and take things in his own hands.

Tsukishima couldn’t afford to be overridden by his own selfishness to do that to her. 

_But why did she not say anything?_

He took a deep breath before stepping back from the railing.

“We should head back.”

Shizuku, who was equally confused, agreed and began to continue walking. 

They didn’t talk to each other the entire time, not even when they got to dorms before entering their respective rooms. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm gonna be honest and tell you how the smile on my face gradually faded as i got to the end of this chapter,, i don't like taking the sudden angsty turn when writing fanfiction but,,, it has to be done :^(


	16. Sumida River (II)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **  
>  _angst ahead, be prepared._  
> **  
>  song featured in this chapter: Rhythmy by Polkadot Stingray; translations were taken from [ here ](https://www.animelyrics.com/jpop/polkadotstingray/risumii.htm). i recommend listening to it when you get to _the park scene_.

Something was different with Tsukishima.

Shizuku noticed it the second time they went to the cafe, a few weeks after they’ve gone to the playground in Shinjuku. It wasn’t overly suggestive nor obvious — it was so subtle that only someone who hasn’t been around him for long could miss, because he was back to being painfully unresponsive. 

Quiet would have been a better premise, as that was what Shizuku had always been used to since they met. This time was different. 

Shizuku could see clearly how Tsukishima was acting so uninterested, particularly whenever she asked him what he thought of this and that. His answers were short and blunt, compared to the ones he used to give her while they worked on their paper. He didn’t even try to ask for her opinions in return and his eyes never left his screen. Shizuku didn’t know if she still wanted to talk to him.

Even so, she gave him the benefit of the doubt and figured that he just might be having a bad day. 

But Shizuku was wrong, because December eventually became the peak of the problem that rose between them.

Cancelling attendance in a scheduled visit ahead of time was totally excusable, but skipping it was a whole other conversation. Tsukishima failed to meet up with Shizuku in Kasuga station, saying that _‘volleyball practice was going to take longer than usual’_ and he might not be able to go with her. That was the first time it happened. If she was following it correctly, the practices only went for as long as three hours — any more than that would make Tsukishima late to their agreed meet-up time. 

Shizuku bit her tongue and sent him a text that it was okay, and he should just try to attend the next time they gather data. It was only after another two weeks of him not showing up that Shizuku realized how repetitive this was getting. 

They only had a few days until the start of winter break, and she was only able to finish a total of six out of nine chapters without Tsukishima coming with her to their assigned locations. His consecutive absences were starting to get on her nerves — something that had worsened even more when Tsukishima would always leave a note in their file to say that he was “proofreading”. 

It didn’t help that he never sat beside Shizuku again in Japanese literature, and every time she tried to approach him after class, he was always nowhere to be found.

Shizuku didn’t know where all of this was coming from — the half-assed excuses, the sudden standoffish behavior, and the abrupt loss of his interest in what they were doing. She understood _fully_ that this wasn’t his only requirement, and that he had a schedule and life of his own, but what was making her so _livid_ was the fact that he couldn’t even afford to explain to her why he was doing such things. 

Even Yachi was confused the night Shizuku confided in her about what was happening.

“He just started ignoring you? Unprovoked?” 

“Yes,” Shizuku breathed out and hugged her knees to her chest, the lowered volume of some evening variety show being the sole background noise to fill in the silence. “He’s been avoiding me like the plague and I don’t even know why! I get that he’s a private person but could he at least tell me what I did wrong?”

“I probably won't be of much help in this,” Yachi sighed, resting her head on her roommate's shoulder. "Tadashi knows Tsukishima _way_ more than I do." She looked up at Shizuku, who had pulled the strings taut to hide her face in the hood. Her lips were in a pout as they sat there, the boring program still on the TV screen.

"You wanna head out and eat udon at Mr. Satoru's?"

Shizuku was the first to stand up from the couch.

* * *

Shizuku’s last class for the month ended late in the afternoon, the same day she told Tsukishima that they were supposed to meet up by Sumida river. She had to personally come to their dorm room and ask for him so she could let him know.

If anything, the atmosphere between them literally worsened. Shizuku had to bite her tongue from lashing out at him while she was talking — he had the most uninterested frown on his face and it felt like he was only waiting for her to finish explaining what she came there for. 

_“Is five-thirty alright?” She managed a thin smile. Tsukishima stared at her for a few seconds before answering._

_He nodded. “Are you done?”_

Shizuku felt as if someone had stabbed a knife straight into her chest when she heard those words from Tsukishima. After that, she immediately nodded and went back upstairs, ignoring how the slam of the door was utterly indicative of his mood. 

_Sumida Park, Third Week of December_

She rested her hand on the railing of the terrace, basking in the view of Sumida river as little delicate snowflakes continued falling from above in an unmeasured cadence. Clumps of ice were starting to form by the banks, and the trees had already shed their leaves in exchange of letting the snow gather along their dark branches. Winter had finally begun.

Shizuku checked her phone once again, disappointed and feeling empty to find nothing from Tsukishima when she texted him that she had already gone ahead. 

To make things sound worse than they were, Kazuo and Suzuna weren’t flying back to Japan anytime soon due to the state of the weather in Norway. Shizuku could only accept it, now knowing that she didn’t have any reason to go to Miyagi for winter break. She heaved out a sigh, opting to sit down on one of the benches when she felt the growing strain in her legs. Her watch read five-thirty.

Another hour had passed.

Then another.

And another.

Bright yellow lights glowed darker and more distinct against the sky, their reflections now bleeding into the water in the same hue. Shizuku glanced at her watch. It was already half-past eight in the evening, and still no Tsukishima. Looking at the people passing by in front her felt strangely isolating that she was starting to grow more and more impatient and discouraged while she waited still.

As a final resort, Shizuku phoned Kyoutani in hopes of knowing whether the time she spent waiting for him was even worth it.

_I turned off your 7 AM alarm_

_Because it was noisy_

It ringed a couple of times before he picked up.

“Shizuku? What’s up?”

“Hey, um,” Shizuku cleared her throat. Her eyes were focused on the people passing by on the pathway. “Is Tsukishima there? I’m supposed to meet up with him in Asakusa today but he’s not answering his phone.”

_The PS4 with the game’s disk taken out of it_

_Appears to be just a shell_

There was a pause. “He didn’t tell you?”

A chill ran down her spine.

“What?”

_Even if I drop my contact lens from one eye_

_You aren’t divided into two_

She heard Kyoutani sigh on the other end of the line. “Tsukishima left for Miyagi this afternoon. We were supposed to go with Koganegawa next week but he said he...needed to go ahead.”

_Not that I intend on looking for it,_

_I wonder what I should have done at that moment—_

Shizuku had to take a second to breathe before bringing her phone close to her again. She swore she felt something inside her finally _snap_.

“Are you okay?” He asked, picking up on her silence.

_Let’s go swim up in the air_

_The asphalt goes further and further,_

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” Shizuku mumbled before thanking him and ending the call, hating how pathetic and shaky she sounded. She slid her phone back in her coat pocket. Her back hit the bench, gloved hands coming to cover her face as everything dawned on her.

_It’s okay if we can’t come back_

_Now that I think about it, you’re always coming in with your shoes on_

Her sixteen-year-old self would have probably landed a sharp smack on the back of her head at how she was struggling so hard not to cry in public. 

This was nothing compared to the years she spent clueless about who her fated half was, so why was it such a big deal now?

_We love each other in a vague way,_

_It turns into night before we we realize,_

Shizuku could feel the weight of everything on her shoulders. Her throat was cold and dry — her chest hurt from trying to suppress the sobs she wanted so badly to let out as she rode the bus back to Bunkyo, and every once in a while, her vision would be blurred. Shizuku felt tired. She couldn’t remember the last time she had this kind of exhaustion — the fatigue from the aftermath of her high school tournaments felt better, even. 

_And we skip the incomplete day that is today, sending it away with the night breeze—_

Their dorm room was dead silent when she arrived.

_Don’t we?_

Shizuku fell to her knees down to the hardwood floor near the entrance, and she finally cried, sobs wracking through her whole body, tears rolling down her cheeks in fat ugly beads as they stained her sleeves that she used to cover her face. Her lungs burned with every labored breath she let out — ragged and painful, unrelenting as she stayed there. 

_Just slightly regretting the time and people that passed by,_

_We’re looking for the today that was supposed to be, with one hand_

_We’re looking for it—_

She should have known. She should have known better than to push things, because clearly, Tsukishima wanted to be left alone. She should have known better than to let herself get too close to him, she should have known better than to reciprocate that half-hearted kiss that seemed to have been the root of everything that had happened until today.

But now, she was back to square one.

She was too late. 


	17. A Sliver of a Chance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recommended song for this chapter: [Sparks by Coldplay](https://youtu.be/Ar48yzjn1PE)
> 
> I refer to Tsukki as "Kei" at some parts here because it's Akiteru's POV

Shizuku didn’t try to reach Tsukishima in the following days.

She busied herself with her readings for finals and applied for a two-week internship at a clinic in Shinjuku to keep her mind off of things, settling on the thought that she could sort everything out once winter break ends.

Ichika and Yachi were worried about her staying behind by herself, however — it only had been a few days since the incident. On that night, they stumbled on Shizuku flopped on the _genkan_ , eyes red and puffy from crying. It took a while to sit her down at the table for the three of them to have dinner before she could tell them everything that happened earlier that evening.

Shizuku continued working on the paper. She had finished the chapters of the second _visits_ for both the cafe and Sumida park, all in full-length detail and she didn’t expect Tsukishima to open the document — it _was_ still winter break, and she didn’t mind having all the workload on her either.

What did happen after the god-awful waterworks, however, was Shizuku badly wanting to backspace Tsukishima’s name into nothingness from the title page. She wasn't one to be driven by pure rage but _God_ , she was so angry the first few days after Tsukishima left.

Why should she care if his grades get a bit ugly? _It's his fault he half-assed his part, anyway._

In the end, Shizuku gave up the thought and let it stay there in the end. If she went through with it, she knew she had to explain everything to Professor Okada. She didn’t want another addition to her pile of problems.

Every once in a while, her parents called to check in on her. It helped Shizuku ease through the prior disappointment, and it felt nice to have them check on her even if they were still miles away from one another.

One thing’s for certain: they were going to attend her graduation in March and Shizuku looked forward to that the most.

Yachi left for Miyagi a week before Christmas and Shizuku saw her off.

“You sure you’re gonna be okay? You know you can stay at my place if you change your mind, right?”

Shizuku smiled, shaking her head. “Thank you, but I’ll be alright.”

Before she could leave, Yachi looked pensively at her roommate, her hand fishing for a piece of paper from her coat pocket. There was a phone number and a familiar last name written on it.

“We used to have a directory of Karasuno’s members’ home numbers if they’re unreachable by mobile. I thought you might need it.”

“Yachi, I-”

“Keep it, okay?”

Shizuku accepted it with a nod. 

* * *

It confused Akiteru to no end when he got a text from his brother asking him to pick him up from the train station. Kei wasn’t supposed to be home until the next week with Koganegawa and Kyoutani, and knowing him, he never did anything out of raw impulse.

The car ride was quiet as usual, save for the distant look in Kei’s eyes that Akiteru caught on after glancing at him from the rearview mirror. Spend enough time with him and you would know even the smallest nuances in his stoic face. 

“You’re home early,” Akiteru gauged his brother’s reaction as he drove down the road. 

Tsukishima sighed. “I always am.” 

He tried again.

“I thought you were coming with your Sendai Frogs teammates?” 

Akiteru knew this was as close as he could get to prying what was making Kei’s mind go haywire — any further than that and he would end up never knowing whatever it was that his brother was running away from.

“I changed my mind.”

It wasn’t until Yamaguchi’s visit that Tsukishima was finally thrown off the edge. 

They were out by the veranda, and he had too much to drink — too much that he started rambling about things he didn’t intend to say out loud. Shizuku. Her being his soulmate. Why he went home suspiciously earlier than usual.

Yamaguchi peeked at Tsukishima, who currently had his head in his arms. 

“Don’t you like her?”

“I don’t like Shizuku!” He blurted out. He raised his head and furrowed his brows, glasses crooked at an awkward angle. He even pointed a finger at him.

Yamaguchi couldn’t help but chuckle at his friend.

“What’s so funny, Yamaguchi?”

“Nothing, it’s just that…” He took a short sip. “I didn’t mention a name.”

Tsukishima huffed, a light peach dusted from his cheeks up until the tips of his ears. He buried his head back in his arms in a drunken defeat. 

Even while under the heavy stupor of alcohol, he knew he fucked up everything he had with Shizuku the moment he started acting like an asshole, thinking that what he felt for her would magically disappear if he put a huge distance between the two of them, but the only thing he did was run away. 

Run away like a coward. Just like before. 

“You know what I think?” Yamaguchi traced the rim of his glass as he spoke. “I think you need to go back to Tokyo. Go back there and tell her everything.”

Tsukishima let out a weak, bitter laugh. “Trust me. I’m the last person she wants to see."

* * *

A full four days passed of Shizuku staring at the paper Yachi left with her before she finally mustered up the courage to dial it on her phone. 

It was a home number for crying out loud — what if Tsukishima predicted with that brain of his and told everyone in their house not to entertain any unknown callers? Was she even prepared to say something to him if he picks it up?

But Shizuku wasn’t a quitter. She might have the occasional laziness of a sloth, but the former is the one thing that she never was.

All doubts were thrown out of the window and Shizuku held her breath when the ringing stopped. She heard someone pick up the receiver with a faint click.

“Tsukishima residence,” the person answered. “This is Akiteru.”

_Akiteru?_

“Good afternoon,” Shizuku greeted. She gave him her name right after. “I’m looking for...Kei. Tsukishima Kei.”

There was a pause. 

“He’s not at home at the moment — would you like me to tell him you called?”

She started to panic. She never really expected to go this far in the conversation, and right now, she didn’t have the luxury of time to weigh the possible consequence of saying either yes or no.

“Yes, but-” Shizuku bit her lip. “Please don’t tell him it was me.”

“Alright.”

After Shizuku hung up, Akiteru immediately checked the secondary phone by the kitchen counter. It wasn’t there anymore.

Humming to himself, he padded down the hallway towards the door at the end and twisted the knob open. Inside, Tsukishima sat on his swivel chair. He had the receiver of the phone still pressed against his ear, his back facing the door. 

“You’re stubborn kids, you two.” Akiteru breathed out a smile, leaning against the doorframe. His younger brother stood up and stopped beside him on his way out of his room.

“The next time she calls, I’m answering the phone.”

Shizuku never did.

* * *

On the third visit to the playground, Shizuku went alone. The children were fewer this time, but Rika was there. She immediately ran up to Shizuku when she saw her approaching. 

“We’re making a snowman! Wanna join?”

Shizuku agreed, letting the little girl drag her to the small pile of white freezing mass. They picked up a pair of twigs for its arms as well as a few pebbles for the torso. She let them do most of the building however — she made sure that no one was going to get hurt like last time, considering how some of them were running around carelessly.

Rika was quick to notice the most obvious change.

“Where’s Kei- _nii chan_?”

Shizuku hesitated for a while. “He...went home. That’s what college kids do during winter.”

“Without you?”

“I’m busy. I have a lot of work to do so I need to stay here.”

The little girl’s voice sounded softer when she spoke again. Her eyes were cast to the ground.

“I thought you fought, that's why he’s not here.”

“What made you think that?”

“You looked sad.”

Shizuku assured Rika she was alright and sat beside her on the swing.

“My mommy tells me that, but sometimes I hear her crying because she and Daddy would fight. Daddy is nice too and I know he loves Mommy, but why do they need to fight?”

Shizuku honestly didn’t know how to answer that in a way that a seven-year-old could understand, but with Rika staring up at her with those round, brown eyes, she knew she had to try.

“Adults are kinda like little kids sometimes. They fight over small things that shouldn’t be fought over but, if they love each other and if they love _you_ , they would be okay again.”

Rika’s face lit up. “Does that mean you and Kei- _nii chan_ can come visit us when you’re okay again?”

Shizuku could only manage a smile.


	18. めぐる季節

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Named after [one](https://youtu.be/i-mPr8_241Q) of the Kimi ni Todoke OSTs I listened to while writing this. Also, the page breaks serve a purpose ;)

Due to the holiday season, the clinic wasn’t so busy. Most of the work given to interns like Shizuku were as simple as arranging patients’ files and logging DTRs of employees, and sitting on a desk and typing away in front a screen was something she was used to that she often finished ahead of time. Right now, she was helping Dr. Hatano with the Christmas decorations needed to be put up in their part of the office.

Dr. Hatano gave her a quick glance as they finished laying out a few feet of garland around the space. “Aren’t you going home for Christmas eve?”

Shizuku smiled and shook her head. “My parents are overseas and I have a lot of course work left, so I’ll be staying in Tokyo until I graduate.”

“Where are you from, if I may ask?”

“I’m from Miyagi.”

“Miyagi!” Dr. Hatano beamed. Her heels clicked on the floor as she walked back to the storage room. She tucked a stray strand of hair away from her face. “I think Dr. Fukuda is from Miyagi as well, you may have seen him around.”

“Is he the tall, serious-faced guy?” Shizuku whispered. 

Dr. Hatano laughed, a hand covering her mouth. She leaned in as if to tell Shizuku a secret. 

“You know, I’ve heard he doesn’t believe in soulmates. Some of our coworkers tease him for it, even.”

She paused for a moment.

“How about you, Shizuku- _chan_? Do you believe in them?”

Shizuku smiled. She recalled that one memory she had in Professor Okada’s class.

“Before, not so much. But now,” She slid her hands in the pockets of the white lab coat she wore. “I think I do.”

* * *

On the morning of the twenty-third, Shizuku received a package from her parents. 

She set the parcel down on the living room and opened it. After getting through all the tape and bubble wrap, she saw a smaller box wrapped in a dainty white and gold paper. The words “Merry Christmas” and “we miss you” were on a cream-colored card, written in Kazuo’s penmanship. 

Shizuku wasted no time unwrapping the box. Inside were an assortment of items—a dark green wool coat, a bottle of Icelandic black sand scrub, and a lavender oil-infused candle. She remembered asking for those three before she saw her parents off at the airport last July. 

Shizuku smiled to herself, and put the contents back in the box. She glanced at the clock and got dressed before going to the clinic. 

Maybe she’ll wear the coat out on Christmas eve.

* * *

Akiteru noticed that the chair opposite his side of the table was empty when he sat down to drink his morning coffee. 

Kei eventually explained to him what happened back in Tokyo, and why he left for Miyagi early. It happened two days ago, while they were shoveling snow from the front yard. As glad as Akiteru was to have his brother back at home again, he suggested the same thing Tadashi did. And that was to go back to Tokyo and tell Shizuku everything he needed to tell her. 

Akiteru even jokingly told him to bring her home for the New Year’s if it goes well, to which Kei merely huffed at, the frigid weather masking his flushed cheeks.

“What time did Kei leave this morning?” He asked when their mother came to set down a plate of eggs with _furikake_ to finish the breakfast items. She smiled.

“Earlier than I woke up, I’m sure.” She sat down on one of the chairs. “That boy can really be surprising sometimes.”

Akiteru took a sip of his coffee, grinning to himself. 

* * *

Shizuku bowed and bid her superiors good-bye before she left the clinic. Today marked the end of her internship.

She braced herself for the cold as she exited the building, fixing the buttons of the coat her parents gifted to her. Her shoes crunched against the snow-laden sidewalk as she walked towards the nearest coffee shop, eager to warm up a bit before heading back to the dorms. The next bus to Bunkyo wasn’t going to be here for at least ten minutes, so she had time to spare.

Shizuku gazed thoughtfully at the seat across from hers as she waited for her caramel macchiato. She couldn’t help but recall her first visit at the cafe with Tsukishima—that one was in Bunkyo, of course, but with the atmosphere enveloping her feeling strangely familiar, she was reminded of that time again. 

Ever since he left, Shizuku had been thinking about what she needed to do once winter break ends. 

She and Tsukishima would most likely revert back to how they were before, except that they wouldn’t be on casual speaking terms anymore. 

If that does happen, so be it. Worrying over turning the situation back to what it once was only sounded tiring to Shizuku at this point.

* * *

Tsukishima arrived in Kasuga station late in the afternoon.

The noise of the crowd of people coming and going from and to the platform sounded like a familiar hum to his ears as he hastily made his way through the sea of passengers. 

All Tsukishima wanted right now was to see Shizuku again. He regretted coming to Miyagi when he realized that, knowing that what he did prior tore a huge rift between them that only he could be blamed for. 

Distance didn’t do Tsukishima any good. If anything, his feelings for her only grew stronger. He longed to be with her again, and denying it made him look more foolish than he already was.

Tsukishima didn’t even notice that the bus had come to a halt. He swiftly got off it with his belongings in one hand. He stood under the shed, unsure where he was supposed to go next.

Yachi told him Shizuku’s shift at the clinic ended at 4:45, so his best option right now was to go to dorms and check if she was already there. His watch read 4:30. He still had time.

* * *

The bus doors opened with a hiss when it made its stop. Shizuku got off by the footbridge. She just needed to cross it and she would be back in the dorms in no time. 

A cold breeze brushed past her as she weaved through the small crowd to get to the flight of stairs. She held her umbrella over her head, focusing on the warmth of her scarf while she made her way up.

Shizuku could still feel the small ache in her chest from that day in Asakusa. This was the same footbridge she crossed when she went home, barely hanging on as she tried to suppress her urge to break down. The memory was still so fresh in her mind. 

That night Tsukishima almost kissed her—she knew she had to tell him soon. She had to tell him that it was him she had been looking for all this time, that it was him she wanted to be with. 

But him leaving Tokyo out of nowhere became sort of his answer. There were no words exchanged, no promises, nothing. Just the cold unfamiliarity Shizuku had always felt from him.

* * *

The cold air was torture to Tsukishima’s lungs at his every inhale as he ran, not caring about the weird stares from the people he passed by. Every time he breathed, his glasses would fog up, blurring his vision. But he didn’t care.

He spotted Shizuku at the farthest point of the sidewalk, eyes now following her figure as she walked up the stairs of the footbridge, afraid of losing her among the crowd.

Tsukishima felt the strain in his legs as he neared the footbridge himself, feet carrying him in a rush yet being careful not to bump into anyone. He looked up again. 

Shizuku was nearing the other end of the walkway. 

He could still make it. 

He could still reach her.

“Shizuku!”

He called out, fighting against the dryness of his throat. He felt a wave of relief wash over him when he saw her come to a stop. 

Shizuku’s grip on her umbrella tightened. It was like the world around her suddenly froze.

_‘It can’t be.’_


	19. Home (I)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ** Spoilers for the Ghibli film _Ocean Waves_
> 
> t/w: sexual innuendos (?) if you squint

Tsukishima stood in front of her, his hair mussed by the wind, purple scarf haphazardly wrapped around his neck. His gaze didn’t leave Shizuku’s as he tried to catch his breath, chest rising and falling at every turn.

Shizuku didn’t know what to say. She stayed there, blinking in disbelief. Why now? Why all of a sudden?

“Why are you here?”

Her voice came out softer than she expected. Her eyes shifted to the ground. She felt as if her heart was going to beat itself out of her rib cage.

Tsukishima cautiously took a step towards her. She didn’t move.

“I came back because I needed to tell you something.”

Shizuku’s breath hitched, forgetting the onslaught of words she prepared for him. They were gone.

Her shoulders fell. She looked at him.

“Come have udon with me.”

Shizuku had never gone out to eat a sit-down meal at Mr. Satoru’s ever since Tsukishima left Tokyo. The memory she had of him there only made the wound in her heart grow to be more painful, and so these past few weeks, she had to take care of her own food herself.

The atmosphere felt heavy as they sat at the table. They ate without a word nor a single bat of an eye at each other, the sole noise of the metal chopsticks hitting their bowls once in a while filling the deafening silence between them.

Shizuku’s eyes avoided Tsukishima from across the table. It felt like she was choking on the lingering tension as she remained seated, eager to have him finish so he could tell her what he had to say for himself and be off on his way, but even that outcome itself was hard to imagine. How she kept her composure without bursting into tears again was beyond her already. 

Shizuku still couldn’t bring herself to process everything. One moment he was gone, and in an instant, he was right in front of her again. It was all too much for her. Besides the crippling sorrow brought on by his gradual absence, she was left to wonder about why he suddenly left. She wanted to ask him so many questions. She wanted to demand an explanation from him. But right now, she couldn’t seem to find the right words anymore, much less muster up the courage to say them out loud.

When Shizuku finished her meal, she stood up quietly, ignoring how Tsukishima purposefully stopped to look up from his bowl as if alarmed by the change in activity. She kept her eyes averted from his still approached the sink and opened the faucet to rinse the tableware. She hung her head low. She didn’t know what to do next.

Shizuku didn’t hear the other chair slide away from the table. All she could feel now were a pair of arms wrapped around her upper body. Shizuku couldn't move. Tsukishima held her to his chest, his face hidden at the crook of her neck. What he said next sounded so quiet and small — if she weren’t listening, she would have missed him saying it. 

“I’m sorry.”

Shizuku finally let go. The first gasp made her tremble, and her arms struggled to steady herself on the slim space of the counter by the sink. Her hands shook as she reached to turn the faucet off. Tears instantly blurred her sight and trailed down her cheeks in thin streams. Tsukishima’s grip around her tightened. 

“I’m sorry,” He whispered again. His lips ghosted over her ear. There was an indistinct crack in his voice. It took everything for Shizuku to turn around and face him, his arms still around her.

“Why did you leave?” She asked, lips curving into a deep frown. Her hands were on his chest, weakly trying to push him away, but she found that couldn’t.

Tsukishima took this chance to press his forehead against hers. “I was scared. I was scared because I was starting to like you and I knew it would be selfish of me to assume my place because—” his breath hitched. 

“Because I thought you were for someone else. And I didn’t want to take you for granted, but…” Tsukishima’s lashes fluttered close as he looked for the words. “But I did. All I did was run away and hurt you when I could have just told you that it was you. It has always been you, Shizuku."

“You only needed to come to me,” she sobbed harder at the confession, now giving in and wrapping her arms around Tsukishima, her head pressed against his shoulder. “I’ve been waiting for you.”

Shizuku held his face with both her hands, eyes looking into his with so much adoration and happiness, her heart feeling finally fulfilled. Tsukishima gave her a kiss on her forehead, arms pulling her closer to him. 

“How can I make it up to you?”

Shizuku laced her fingers around his neck. “Stay with me tonight.”

"And our paper?"

She laughed. 

"That can be arranged."

Shizuku leaned against Tsukishima’s bare chest, the warm, fragrant, foamy water enveloping them both as they basked in each other’s presence. They honestly didn’t expect the tub to be able to accommodate them both at first.

“Really? You thought I was pretty?” She looked up at him. His hair was still damp from the shower earlier, and he was squinting. Tsukishima practically was as blind as a bat without his glasses, and unfortunately for him, Shizuku was starting to grow fond of his spectacle-bare face.

“Well, _‘was’_ is the operative term.” 

This earned a smack on his shoulder.

“But really, you are,” Tsukishima whispered, lips grazing Shizuku’s ear. He began tracing soft circles on her arm as it rested on one side of the tub.

“Especially with your hair down.”

Shizuku giggled when he pressed a small kiss on the nape of her neck. She sighed contently.

“God, my soulmate is such a huge dork.”

Tsukishima was quick to retract his prior mood. 

“I am not.” 

Shizuku made a face at him. Her fingers were slowly trailing the top of his thigh. Tsukishima’s expression darkened for a split second. He grabbed Shizuku’s hand and put it back up on the rim.

“I’m on thin ice, Shizuku,” Tsukishima said in a low voice. “Don’t ask for things you can’t handle.” 

He leaned back and closed his eyes. 

“Plus, I’m getting sleepy.”

With Shizuku’s bed only fit for one person, she had to bring out the spare futons and lay them out on the living room floor so both of them could settle down for the night.

Taku, Yutaka, and their former classmates hung out after the reunion party. A montage of the protagonist's memories of Rikako were recalled, her disembodied voice making its short appearance as this awkwardly sentimental music played in the background, the shot slowly zooming into a white castle in the distance.

Shizuku always cringed at this part, still so appalled at how Taku was made to romanticize Rikako’s petulant behavior. It was funny almost, considering how his interactions with the girl was just a bunch of instances where she either bossed him around or manipulated him. Taku really should have just ended up with Yutaka.

Tsukishima had Shizuku in his arms as they watched, his hand absent-mindedly playing with her hair he helped dry off earlier. He was right. It felt as soft as it looked.

“I’m so confused,” He mumbled, half-yawning. He let her turn off her laptop when the movie was finished. “Taku and Yutaka should have ended up together.”

Shizuku crept back under the covers. “And Rikako only helped develop _their_ arcs. I never got to see an attempt for her redemption," She pulled the duvet up until her chin. "They made her so unlikeable it’s criminal.”

Tsukishima didn’t say anything after that.

“It reminds me of _Blue Gate Crossing_ , but it’s better because…”

Shizuku looked up at him, stopping when she noticed him staring at her as she spoke.

Without a word, Tsukishima shifted so his arms were on either side of Shizuku’s head, caging her in, the blanket shrouding over the both of them. She stilled.

“Kei?”

Hearing his first name come from her made him break away from his seriousness. Tsukishima sighed, finally surrendering himself to his own wishes, enough to be able to verbalize it to Shizuku. 

“I really want to kiss you.”

Shizuku cupped his face, her thumbs tenderly caressing his cheeks. He closed his eyes, letting the warmth of her gesture consume him as he returned it by rubbing up and down her sides. 

“You’re not going to leave again, are you?”

“Never.”

Tsukishima leaned down towards Shizuku, closing the gap between them. She responded almost immediately, her arms circling around his neck. His hands slipped under the material of her shirt, fingers tracing slow, loose circles on the skin of her abdomen. Shizuku's fingers carded through his blonde hair, parting her lips to let Tsukishima in, back arching slightly to press their bodies flush against each other.

He pulled back, eyes still closed. 

“Come home with me,” Tsukishima whispered. Shizuku could feel his lashes brushing against her skin. 

“Kei, it’s—”

“After we graduate,” His eyes fluttered open. “Come home with me to Miyagi.”

Shizuku smiled. She pulled Tsukishima closer, making him collapse down on her as she hugged him tight, his laughter slipping out as they rolled on the futon. She kissed his cheek, nuzzling her nose into his neck.

“We don’t have to wait that long.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really intended to publish this on tsukki's day 😔💗 happy birthday moon boy 🌙


	20. Home (II)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings: a really, really small mention of the common phenomenon among male bodies in the morning (iykyk), implied sex, Shizuku figuratively bonking the horny out of Tsukishima

Tsukishima and Shizuku let Christmas pass before heading to Miyagi for the New Year’s. 

They arrived late in the afternoon, and Akiteru was the one who opened the door. He was surprised to see them, which Tsukishima huffed at, saying that it was Akiteru who (jokingly) proposed the idea in the first place before urging him to leave for Tokyo.

Their mother, upon meeting Shizuku, didn’t miss to comment on her stature. Shizuku practically towered over her as they got acquainted with each other in the living room. 

Mrs. Tsukishima was a soft-spoken woman. Her voice was gentle yet cheerful, and her smiles frequently made appearances as she talked, the familiar crinkling of her eyes reminding Shizuku of the ones she had seen on her son on the rarest of occasions. Akiteru, on the other hand, resembled Tsukishima very much — his defining features being the slightly darker hair and the gentle smile as he finally got to meet the object of his brother's affection.

Shizuku took in the ambiance of the house while they talked. The space seemed fairly big for only three people to live in. Decorations were a mix of traditional and modern pieces, just enough for the aesthetic to come off as calm yet inviting.

The soft, afternoon sunlight that entered from the large windows in veranda on the left bathed the beige walls, its light reflecting off of a few trophies and medals that were displayed on a bureau somewhere near. Shizuku didn’t know which belonged to Akiteru or Tsukishima. She could ask later. 

They all had dinner together that night, with the topic of interest being the both of them as expected. Shizuku was the one who gave complete answers, with Tsukishima only interjecting every once in a while to add details she missed. Some of his additions, she wasn’t even aware of.

The part _after_ dinner was what Tsukishima dreaded the most. He was wholeheartedly happy that Shizuku got along well with his family, but what he didn’t like was how his mother was a bit too quick to pull out the photo album from the depths of their storage room that he didn’t even know existed once the plates were cleared. 

He sat awkwardly beside Shizuku, whose focus was now on his mother flipping through page after page of his baby pictures, excitedly narrating the backstory of each of them. 

Even though Tsukishima religiously avoided getting roped into the conversation, he could feel his eye twitching at his childhood information being exposed one by one as the minutes passed.

They stopped now at a photo of him from when he was four. He was wearing a pastel green dinosaur onesie, which was obviously too big for his size at that time. He was trying to reach up at someone outside the frame. Judging by the hands, it was probably Akiteru.

“Aww,” Shizuku cooed. She turned to look at Tsukishima. “You look so adorable here.”

Tsukishima merely tutted. That was probably the eighteenth time he had heard that tonight, and he was starting to lose count.

“Isn’t he?” His mother agreed. “Such a shame he outgrew that onesie too fast. I’m sure I still have it around somewhere I used to keep his toddler clothes.”

He didn’t know what to say. He swore he could feel himself deliberately astral projecting to the nearest dimension as he tried to sit through this whole ordeal.

“Whatever,” He sighed and stood up. “I’m taking a bath.”

“We’re not even halfway done!” Shizuku whined.

Tsukishima cringed, walking down the hall as he tried his best to ignore the shudder that ran down his spine when he heard that the next set of pictures was going to be of him during his first birthday.

So much for attempting to save his dignity.

The living room was already quiet when Tsukishima got out of his room after getting dressed for bed. As he went to retrieve his scarf that he left by the sofa, he heard voices coming from the kitchen.

Shizuku was helping Akiteru with the dishes, and they were currently engaged in a lively conversation about cats, or whatever it was that he overheard. 

There had been many times in which Tsukishima had witnessed her smile like that, but seeing it from afar and not directed at him — much more _knowing_ that it _wasn’t_ because of _him_ — he couldn’t help but feel a dull twinge in his chest as he quietly went about his business. 

Tsukishima’s presence didn’t go unnoticed, however. Shizuku saw and called out to him, asking about something he didn’t catch. He merely proceeded to his room, opting to keep his mind occupied by unpacking the rest of his things before he settled in for the night.

Akiteru immediately picked up on the atmosphere when Shizuku turned around, a small frown replacing her prior light mood.

There were only a few dishes left to be dried, anyway.

“Leave the rest to me,” He smiled reassuringly. “You can go ahead.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

Shizuku shared the sink with Tsukishima as they brushed their teeth and got ready for bed, an air of slight uneasiness draping over the both of them.

“Why’d you ignore me earlier?”

Tsukishima didn’t answer and continued what he was doing. She waited until he leaned down to spit out the foam in his mouth. 

“I didn’t ignore you,” he stated simply. His voice was muffled by his brushing. He spat out the toothpaste in the sink before continuing his explanation. “I just didn’t hear you, that’s why.”

Shizuku wanted to laugh. She already knew how he behaved when he was lying.

“Were you jealous?”

Tsukishima paused. He made a face at her, rolling his eyes as he rinsed his toothbrush and cleaned off the area around his lips. He exited the bathroom, and Shizuku soon followed him out. She was about to twist the door knob of her designated sleeping quarters when she felt Tsukishima lingering behind her.

“Where are you going?”

“The guest room, why?”

He smirked. “Don’t you wanna sleep in my room?”

* * *

“Oh my God,” Shizuku let out a small gasp. “You’re a hypocrite.”

Lining one of the highest shelves in Tsukishima’s room was an elaborate assortment of dinosaur plushies, each a different species indicated by individual pastel colors to tell them apart from one another. Shizuku’s eyes didn’t miss a few other miniature figurines by the glass shelves above his desk, either.

“You had,” She took a few steps further into the room. “The audacity to make fun of my Vocaloid nendoroids back in the dorms, and yet here you are, housing a literal collection of dinosaur plushies.”

Shizuku had her hands on her hips, lips in a pout.

“What do you have to say for yourself?”

Tsukishima huffed. “Maybe I should have let you sleep in the guest room, after all.”

Now it was her turn to roll her eyes. 

“Fine,” Shizuku turned around. “I planned on sleeping there, anyway.”

Tsukishima was quick to pull her towards him before she reached the door. 

“Too late.”

Shizuku woke up first the next morning, barely able to make out anything amid the dim shade of the approaching dawn. She shifted in small movements, feeling Tsukishima’s weight on her back. He had his arms wrapped around her torso, with one of his legs hooked over hers as he slept soundly. She would have snapped a photo of him if she could remember where she placed her phone last night.

Now aware of the need for more sleep, Shizuku burrowed herself deeper under the duvet, repositioning ever so slightly before Tsukishima tightened his hold around her. She could feel his fingers softly grazing the skin of her abdomen under her pajama top as he hummed into the crook of her neck.

“Stop moving around,” He mumbled, voice low and raspy. “It’s barely six in the morning.”

Shizuku only wished it were that easy.

“Something’s poking my thigh, Kei.”

Tsukishima nosed into the back of her ear. "Help me with it."

No response came.

"Understandable," he groaned. "Just a kiss, then."

Shizuku finally relented and turned to give him a quick peck on the cheek. Satisfied, Tsukishima got up to ask for a kiss and let go of her to go take care of his problem by himself. The bed soon became lighter and the space beside her get empty. Laughing softly to herself, Shizuku draped the duvet over her shoulder, feeling her drowsiness beckon at her again as the warmth lulled her back to sleep.

The temple that morning was packed as expected. People were scattered around the stairs that led to the shrine, some of them couples and families all gathered to celebrate the New Year.

Shizuku got a text message from Suzuna before they left that morning. They were set to fly back to Japan a few weeks before the end of January, which was on a date way later than her birthday. Her mom wasn’t too happy about missing it, but Shizuku assured her in her reply that she understood the circumstances and simply wished them a safe flight home.

Tsukishima and Shizuku soon met up with Yachi and Yamaguchi, the four of them offering their prayers by the shrine together before picking out their fortunes. Shizuku had to convince Tsukishima to just ‘do it for the sake of doing it’ before he begrudgingly paid a hundred yen for a numbered stick. Both of them got _sue-kichi_ , nonetheless.

On their way back home, Shizuku ran into some of her old teammates from Niiyama Joshi. Ichika was also there, and she introduced the rest of the present members to her girlfriend Yui. Reiko, one of the former first-years, jutted an accusatory finger at Ichika.

“I knew it! I knew you were gay!”

“All of us were a little gay back then, Reiko.” Ichika giggled. “College was just the final test.”

Sara sighed. “I’m a fallen soldier, yes.” 

“So is Shizuku,” Hiroko added.

“Well, yes _and_ no,” Shizuku retorted. The group laughed when they got what she was referring to. Tsukishima stood a bit farther from where she was, talking to who seemed to be his seniors from Karasuno. She bit back a smile.

A day after New Year, they were invited to a _nomikai_ with the Karasuno alumni to an _izakaya_ not too far from the neighborhood. Shizuku wasn’t too sure about going, but with her prior acquaintance with some of them in the temple, she ended up attending with Tsukishima later that night.

All she had to remember was to not drink too much. 

When the clock hit eight, they were all complete, save for Asahi and Nishinoya, who were on video call via Sugawara’s phone. It was early in the afternoon for them in Egypt.

Stories shared at the table were mostly about college, things they did after they graduated, and volleyball. Some of them continued down the path, others did not, but in the end, their conversations revolved around the sport still.

Tsukishima was unfortunately sandwiched between Hinata and Kageyama as they drank, and due to his own intoxication, he was complaining loudly that he was supposed to be sitting next to Shizuku. Everything was fine until Hinata ended up leaning against him after being knocked out by alcohol, who was then followed by Kageyama not long after. 

"Get off me!" Tsukishima tried jerking his shoulder to shrug Hinata off, and pushing Kageyama away with a free hand, all in an effort to free himself of the suffering. The setter only snored at his former teammate as a response, further agitating an already annoyed Tsukishima.

Hinata had a dopey smile on his face. "C'mon, Stingyshima, don't you miss us?"

"Shut up! Get your tangerine head off my shoulder!"

Everyone had their phones out, all laughing and drunkenly amused and focused on taking pictures of the three, with Tsukishima unable to do anything to help himself. Shizuku and Yamaguchi only got to pry off both of the knocked out Hinata and Kageyama from Tsukishima a little after twelve when the group finally decided to take their leave. 

Shizuku walked home with Tsukishima, who was inebriated enough to sway as they went further along the road. She held him firmly by his arm to keep him steady, reprimanding him for drinking too much kahlua and that he was going to suffer for it in the morning.

“Shizuku,”

Tsukishima called out, slurring her name as he did. Shizuku paused from chiding him. His eyes were droopy and he had a small, lazy smile on his face. 

“Shizuku!”

Shizuku had to cover his mouth with his scarf, instantly getting alarmed at him suddenly raising his voice in the middle of the night. He was mumbling something incoherent into the fabric.

“Don’t shout! It’s already so late.”

Tsukishima whined. It sounded so foreign coming from him that Shizuku wanted to burst out in laughter. He pouted.

“I’m trying to tell you something.” 

“What is it?”

There was a five-second pause.

“I think I’m in love with you.”

“You _think_?”

Shizuku soon felt him peck on her lips when she turned to face him in disbelief. She swore her brain stopped working for a fraction of a second, even while she rubbed the spot where the frame of his glasses bumped against with.

“Did you just kiss me?”

“Was I not supposed to?”

Shizuku sighed.

“Can’t you do it again without your glasses?”

Tsukishima had now laced his fingers with hers as they walked. He smiled.

“Later.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been pretty busy so I wasn't able to publish anything within the week after Tsukki's birthday, but here's Chapter 20 :D it feels really nice to write knowing Shizuku and Tsukki aren't apart anymore lol


	21. Choices

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation notes:  
> * “今日は楽しかった! またね!” - "I had fun today! See you!"

Tsukishima and Shizuku were stuck at home, their boredom now coming to make itself known to them. College life in Tokyo always seemed to require them to travel from one place to another, and somehow, their usual train commute started to sound better than napping together for copious hours on end. 

Right now, Shizuku sat on Tsukishima’s bed as she watched him like a hawk. He was working on the tentative bibliography section of their paper. 

“I’m hungry,” Tsukishima declared, even though his fingers continued to move across the keyboard. He was nearing the last few bullets.

Shizuku looked up from her phone. “It’s almost midnight. Where are we supposed to buy snacks at this hour?”

There was a familiar glint in his eyes. 

“I know a place.”

Sakanoshita market’s signboard stood out from the distance even with the snow covering its corners and sides, the light inside looking like a big glowing box amid the darkness of the street. Miyagi had always been a dead town at night. You could expect the vicinity to be empty by the time your watch reaches eight.

The shop bell rang throughout the small store when they entered. Shizuku half-expected Ukai (whom she met at the _nomikai_ the other week) to be manning the counter, but someone else was there. She gave them a short bow as a greeting.

Tsukishima mumbled something about going to another aisle when he left Shizuku to her own devices in front of an assortment of _anpan_. She didn’t say anything and let him wander off. 

In her hands were her choices of beverages: it was between a bottle of green tea and a carton of strawberry milk. Sighing at her current inability to choose, Shizuku went to look for Tsukishima.

He was over at the refrigerated section, reading the contents of a pink _Samanco_ packet. 

“Kei,” Shizuku raised up both items in her hands to him. “Which one should I get?”

Tsukishima squinted (despite already wearing glasses), eyes darting pensively at the two before he tapped on the carton of strawberry milk.

“Heat it up when we get home.”

Clutching the Samanco in his free hand, he turned to head for the counter. Shizuku didn’t bother questioning him with his choice, seeing as he had already decided on eating ice cream in the middle of winter.

 _“See, you tell me to heat up my milk but you bought ice cream anyway,”_ was what she wanted to say.

Tsukishima did buy season-appropriate food. He was now by the veranda, quietly enjoying a steamed pork bun he purchased last-minute before they left the store. Shizuku joined him as soon as she had warmed up her drink, Mamerico’s _Kirari Futari_ playing through her earphones.

_I was chasing the ending season,_

_Sandals removed, watching the sparkling waves—_

They watched the snow descend slowly as they ate. Even with the volume on the lowest setting, the song was loud and clear in Tsukishima’s head. A new one she had discovered, perhaps. He had never heard this one before.

_Listening carefully to your mellow words,_

_Gazing up at the fleeting sky, hand in hand—_

Tsukishima turned to look at her. “When did you know?” 

Shizuku didn’t need any other words to know what he was asking.

“At the university library. But if I was being accurate, “ She took a sip of the strawberry milk, now transferred to a mug she held between her hands. “I’ve known since high school. I just didn’t know how you looked, or who you were.”

_I don’t want memories that pass me by,_

_But let me hear your voice as if time’s melody will never fade—_

“So,” He bit his bottom lip. His gaze was back at the view outside. “At the Spring Interhigh—”

“ _Hokujou no Susume_?”

Tsukishima smiled.

“How about you?”

“The day after we were partnered up for the paper. I froze in front of the bookshelf and you greeted me like it was nothing.”

“You handled it better than I did,” Shizuku laughed. “I was also losing my shit when I found out it was you.”

_Stars of sand sway to the twinkling ocean—_

_A couple lying down flat and melting into the white moon..._

Tsukishima shook his head, a small smile forming on his lips as he recalled the memory.

“So that’s why you were walking down the street as if you left the stove on.”

“I was trying my best, okay?”

By now, the song proceeded to the next one in Shizuku’s playlist. The melody was slow and soft—so full of nostalgia that Tsukishima seemed to understand the lyrics despite identifying them to be in Korean.

He couldn’t seem to ignore what he had been wanting to tell her since they arrived in Miyagi.

“Shizuku,” His hand reached for hers. “I know I’m not a lot of people’s favorite person, and I’m not good at this...this whole soulmate thing,” A nervous laugh broke through Tsukishima’s quiet tone. “I never have been.”

Shizuku faced him as he spoke, earphones now taken off and forgotten. 

“But,” Tsukishima looked up at her. “You’re the only person I want to spend the rest of my life with. It sounds selfish—”

Shizuku shushed him with a finger on his lips, her free hand coming up to caress his cheek as she leaned in to press her forehead against his. “You’re not being selfish, Kei.” She kissed the tip of his nose. "I want to be with you too."

Tsukishima gave her a meek nod, closing his eyes as he basked in the warmth of Shizuku's presence, silently echoing in his head words of an everlasting promise to her.

_End of Winter Break_

  
  


“You’re here!”

Rika ran up to Tsukishima and Shizuku when she saw them approaching the playground. This visit wasn’t required anymore. They decided to just come and see Rika one last time before they finish the paper.

Albeit small, she managed to tackle Tsukishima in a hug, the mere force of her colliding with him was enough to make him step back a bit. She beamed up at him.

“Shizuku-nee chan was really lonely without you.”

Tsukishima gave Shizuku a quick ‘Is that so?’ face upon hearing what Rika had to say. Shizuku could feel her cheeks flushing. 

So that’s what it feels like to be exposed by a child.

With his hands on his knees, Tsukishima bet down to Rika’s level.

“So, what are we playing today?”

She lit up at the question.

“ _Kakurenbo_!”

Probably the only reason why Tsukishima found this game entertaining was how easily he could spot the children, given that the playground didn’t offer much hiding places to begin with, and they tended to overuse their positions as the game stretched on. Shizuku helped them hide, however, much to Tsukishima’s disapproval. Whenever he chastised them, he was met with several flashes of childish _akanbe_ faces, Shizuku included.

They played until late afternoon, with all the children having been picked up by their parents except for Rika, who was usually the last to go home.

Shizuku had her sit on the bench as she fixed her hair, all mussed up from the activities they did today. Her legs swung as she sat, patiently listening to Shizuku as she explained that this might be the last time they were going to see each other. Shizuku was half-relieved when she saw that Rika wasn’t about to burst into tears as Tsukishima predicted.

“You mean, you’re not gonna come back here in Tokyo ever again?” Rika looked up at her. Her voice was calm and inquisitive. 

“We might, but not always. We’ll be living someplace else once we graduate.”

“Where?”

Tsukishima interjected. “Miyagi.”

“Is it far?” The little girl turned to him.

“A little, yes.”

Rika pondered on her thoughts for a while. “Then, I’ll visit when I’m a big girl! Shizuku- _nee chan_ ’s gonna be a doctor soon, right?”

Shizuku smiled. “You promise to stop by my office one day?”

She nodded, mirroring her with a bigger grin, her eyes forming into adorable crescents. “Yes, and I’ll bring Haruka so you could meet her!”

Rika’s mother arrived a little later after their conversation. The little girl stood up, putting on her backpack as she ran up to the backseat. She waved happily at them from the window as the car began to move.

“ _今日は楽しかった! またね_!”*

* * *

Two cups of flat white and chamomile tea rested on their respective sides as Tsukishima sat across Shizuku in the booth they were in, both of them surrounded by loose, organized papers full of carefully jotted notes and opened textbooks lined with color coded tabs. 

“Do I even want to be a doctor? Is this even worth it?” Shizuku took off her reading glasses and buried her face in her hands, exhaling loudly as she let out a single whine of faked pain.

Tsukishima didn’t spare her a look. “Why did you become a psych major if your brain only had eight megabytes of storage space, hm?”

“That eight megabytes you’re talking about is going to graduate school so watch your mouth, Kei.”

He rolled his eyes. “Just don’t bother me with your complaining. I still have five chapters left to read.”

“Go ahead. I’m taking a break. My eyes are killing me.”

Shizuku gave in and rested her head on her arms at the small space on the table near the window where they sat next to. She faced the street, eyes following the occasional vehicle that passed by every now and then. She sighed. She really wasn’t good at voluntarily spacing out to ignore her review materials even for a while.

Tsukishima eventually stopped what he was doing and contemplated what he was supposed to ask Shizuku as her face was directed away from him. 

“Are you really going to Tohoku University?”

Shizuku had mentioned her plans for graduate school to him on the train as they were leaving Miyagi. Tsukishima was surprised to hear that to say the least, as she could have just easily chosen to stay in Tokyo to get her master’s degree, and his proposed plan of living together in their hometown wasn’t written in stone quite yet. 

That was one of the things he learned about Shizuku over the past few months. Even though she sometimes had the indecisiveness of a five-year-old, her eventual choice was always absolute and final. 

Shizuku turned her head so she was facing him now. Something about Tsukishima’s lashes fluttering expectantly as he waited for a response made her feel butterflies in her stomach. 

“Yeah, I am,” She said, now straightening up and fixing her hair. She lifted her cup to her lips and took a sip. “That way, I don’t have to travel so much every day,” She leaned closer to Tsukishima. “ _And_ I’ll be able to come home to you.”

“How clingy,” He teased.

Shizuku let out a small ‘hmph’ and set the cup back down. 

“Says the one who breathlessly asked me to come live with him last Christmas.”

Tsukishima clicked his tongue, not wanting to openly accept defeat. His cheeks were dusted with a soft peach hue as he went back to his notes, adjusting the grip on his highlighter.

“Shut up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs featured in this chapter:  
> [Kirari Futari - Mamerico](https://youtu.be/PwC1MxbVr8U)  
> [Everything - The Black Skirts](https://youtu.be/ITnT4L988G0) (alluded)


	22. Moonstruck

Many times, Shizuku doubted the way fate linked every person to another. But now that she was in the exact same position, things began to finally make sense. It wasn’t overly shocking nor was it horrendously life-changing—nothing too extravagant and unnecessary—rather, the change was a slow, gradual, downward spiral, one which Shizuku couldn’t help but find herself sliding further down with no control over the pace she was going at.

She could wholeheartedly admit that she had always been attracted to Tsukishima prior her being aware of what he meant to her—you had to be blind not to be enamored by how his stupidly handsome face matched ironically well with his silent, snarky attitude, or how his voice sounded whenever he spoke, which felt as though he could read to you the dissection process of a frog and you’d still be swooning. 

It was always the superficialities at the beginning that got the most admiration, but to Shizuku, Tsukishima eventually became more than the sum of all his endearing parts.

_Professor Okada was visibly surprised when Shizuku and Tsukishima turned in their bound work, taking great notice at how it was significantly thicker than most of the papers submitted earlier than the agreed deadline. She didn’t say a word about it, though—she merely smiled, and commended them for passing on time._

_The two bowed before leaving the office, thanking their professor for her time on their way out._

_“Are we gonna study together today?” Shizuku chirped, peering at Tsukishima as they walked down the hall and exited the building._

_“Of course we are,” He scoffed, as if she weren’t supposed to be expecting a different answer from him. “We might be allowed to slack off in class but we aren’t flunking our finals.”_

_“Me? Flunking my finals? You really don’t know me yet.”_

_“What did you expect?” Tsukishima raised a brow at her. Sometimes Shizuku wondered if there was ever an end to her boyfriend’s snarky attitude. “We missed out on twenty years of each other’s existence,” he smirked. “You’re dating me and you don’t even know my favorite color.”_

_“Tch, easy. It’s purple.”_

_“No, it’s not.”_

_“I’ve seen your closet. You own at least five purple shirts, a purple hoodie, and your favorite scarf is purple.”_

_He tutted. “That was my closet at home. The closet I have in the dorms is the one that counts. You’d know if you came over often.”_

_“Is that a request?”_

_“I don’t know, is it?”_

_“What, you want me to come over because you miss waking up next to me?”_

_Even though Tsukishima didn’t turn to look at her as they neared the gate of the campus, the answer was clear to her already._

_“Oh my God, are you serious?”_

_Shizuku finished Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki while they were on the bus headed back to the dorms after spending the whole day reviewing for their finals._

_She felt a lump forming at the back of her throat as she turned to focus on the passing buildings outside the window, blinking rapidly to try and stop herself from crying. She hated how quickly she teared up over a mere book, but then again, that was the sign that told her she enjoyed every second of reading it._

_Tsukishima pried his eyes away from his phone, his attention now on Shizuku who was discreetly blotting tears from her eyes. He knew what the reason was right away once he saw the object that was so ungracefully shoved in her bag._

_“Murakami hurt you again?”_

_Shizuku snugly rested her head on his shoulder, her arms weaving into Tsukishima’s. He felt her nod._

_She heaved out a sigh. “I know it’s just a book but-”_

_“Exactly.”_

_Shizuku landed a playful smack on the back of his hand. “I’m feeling dramatic tonight, okay? I’ll be done in ten minutes, just let me be.”_

_Tsukishima smiled. “Ever the stickler for schedules.”_

_“Don’t patronize me. I’ll still be reviewing later after we eat udon so I need to be emotionally well.”_

_“Don’t stay up too late—”_

_Shizuku was about to give him a mushy word of thanks when he followed it up with another quip._

_“Raccoon eyes don’t suit you.”_

_“Just when I thought you were being nice,” She huffed. Tsukishima let out a quiet laugh, subtly pulling her back to him when she tried to break away from him._

It’s true what they say about things that take time. Shizuku would have never gotten to see through Tsukishima’s facade if she had given up so easily. The antithesis was subtle; too easy to miss, but she was able to commit to memory everything she was able to discover. 

It was all in the small things: how Tsukishima knew her cafe order by heart, how her notes were magically (and neatly) arranged at the end of every study date, or how he knew exactly which song to play whenever it was a bad day.

“You take too long to decide,” He explains when asked about the first.

“Your desk must always be a mess,” He retorts when asked about the second, complete with the signature scoff.

“We haven’t listened to that song in a while,” He mumbles with his cheeks tinted a light pink when questioned about the third.

It’s true what they say about how being with your soulmate feels like magic; like you’re both in sync—two hearts and minds connected by an unseen force that bound the two of you together the moment you were brought into this world. 

Tsukishima had been no less of a doubter like Shizuku was, until being with her was no longer a chore he knew he had to consciously perform. Everything was natural and honest—from the way Shizuku knew that one look he would send her when he wanted a quick exit from a typical, loud college party, that squeeze he would give her when their train was about to reach its stop, down to the small smiles they would share when they wanted to stop by Mr. Satoru’s stall for a hearty dinner of beef udon. 

Silence, which may have been what separated them from each other for the longest time, was what linked them together now.

* * *

**_[Keeper of the Dinosaur Figurines]_ **

_You look like a sore thumb. Can’t you be shorter?_

**_[Ishikawa Shizuku]_ **

_Not my fault your last name starts with a T._

_Also stop texting me!_

_They’re going to call out the names already._

Shizuku slid her phone back into its hiding spot under the blue fabric of her toga, cautiously glancing around to see if there was anyone who had seen her texting in the middle of the graduation ceremony. While she did try her best to keep her focus on the president delivering his congratulatory speech, the buzzing caused by Tsukishima’s messages was slowly driving her insane.

**_[Keeper of the Dinosaur Figurines]_ **

_I made you a playlist last night._

That was what the next text read. Shizuku huffed, unlocking her phone once again to tap on the link that he attached to his message. It led to her Spotify app, the list of songs flashed automatically on the screen. Tsukishima texted her again.

_Read the first word of the titles, from first to the last._

Shizuku did as she was instructed, instantly figuring out what her soulmate was trying to tell her. He wanted to go to Sumida river with her after the ceremony, and she could only take a wild guess at what the reason was.

“Ishikawa Shizuku,” 

Nanami, who was beside her, elbowed Shizuku, yanking her focus away from her phone. She sprung to her feet and slid her phone back in her pocket, carefully making her way through the others seated in their row. She took a deep breath, feeling the heel caps of her shoes sinking into the carpeted aisle as she walked to and up the stage. She could almost sense her mother taking pictures of her from where the relatives were seated.

Shizuku shook her professors’ hands and accepted her diploma, taking a subtle glance at the audience as she headed back to her seat. Sure enough, Tsukishima was looking in her direction as if he had been waiting for her to meet his eyes, his height making him stand out from the rest of the students in the farthest rows. He made a face at her, and Shizuku mimicked him, knowing that the attention of the crowd was on the next graduate. 

Outside Yasuda Auditorium, the students gathered with their families under the beaming sunlight as they took pictures to commemorate the occasion. Kazuo and Suzuna met Tsukishima and his family shortly after the ceremony. He and Shizuku wanted to momentarily disappear when their parents started gushing when they had them take a photo together. 

“Kei, dear, move a little closer to her.”

Tsukishima did as his mother instructed him to, wordlessly looking at Shizuku to tell her that he was going to close the gap between them. She just couldn’t seem to get used to this kind of proximity even though they’ve already gone as far as sleeping and cuddling in the same bed.

Shizuku inhaled sharply when she felt Tsukishima’s arm around her waist as he pulled her closer to his side, looking up at him to see his small smile as he kept his gaze forward. She pulled herself together and faced the cameras. She planned to ask for the pictures from Suzuna after.

“We know you two have somewhere to be,” Kazuo said to his daughter with a smile when their mothers were done taking their photos. He gave Tsukishima a knowing glance.

Tsukishima squeezed Shizuku’s wrist gently twice, signaling her that they were going on a short side trip for the day. They took the bus to Asakusa, still clad in their toga even in the warm early afternoon. Shizuku could feel her chest swell with joy when she saw that the cherry blossom trees had started to bloom, the soft, pink flowers grouped in cloud-like clusters on the dark branches. In the distance, the river sparkled a bright blue; the small streaks of white reflecting the sunlight.

“What are we doing here?” Shizuku asked as she sat beside Tsukishima on a bench. A wave of nostalgia washed over her. This was the same one she had sat on the night she found out that he left for Miyagi.

“I told you I was going to make it up to you, didn’t I?” His voice was calm and quiet. “So, I figured that by going with you here,” He turned to look at her now. “...your last memory of this place wouldn’t be a sad one.”

Shizuku let him intertwine his fingers in hers, a certain warmth spreading all over her as she leaned her head on his shoulder. She smiled, sighing contentedly.

“Kei?”

“Hm?”

“I think I’m in love with you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My workload from college made this take _sooo_ long to be published, but here it is! We'll be having a mid-semester break so hopefully chapters 23 and 24 will be out soon. As always, thank you for reading and stay safe!


	23. Alight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukki and Shizuku settle into their new home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation notes:
> 
> *"じゃ、英語で「お前はすごくうざいなぁ」っとどう言うのか?" - "So, how do you say 'you're so annoying' in English?" (imagine that what Shizuku replies to this is said in English lmao)

“Is it just me or do we not have that much stuff?”

Shizuku leaned against the door frame, a box labeled “laundry room” in her arms. This was the last box she had to unpack for today, as Tsukishima was almost finished putting away the tableware in the kitchen cupboards. He paused to eye Shizuku.

“It’s better not to have too much,” he answered calmly. “I’d rather not go through another box of things, and we still have to set down our house rules.”

Tsukishima sighed and massaged his shoulders to alleviate the pain, not being able to bear it for any longer. He and Shizuku had been working all afternoon, and he was just glad they were able to take everything out as needed, because another day of needing to arrange items around their new apartment sounded like torture to him already.

Shizuku walked over to where he was and set the box down on the dining table, her palms faced downwards on the surface.

“Should we discuss it in the bathtub?”

Water sloshed as the two of them got in, with Tsukishima on one side, Shizuku on the other and their feet propped on their opposite ends. She pressed play on the bluetooth speaker, letting Troye Sivan’s melodic vocals echo in the bathroom. This was rule number one: music to be played was going to be alternated between their playlists each time they soak together in the tub.

“What about food? Who’s going to cook?” Shizuku pulled her hair into a low bun and relaxed into the warm water. Tsukishima had his head propped on his fist that rested on the rim as he thought of a possible compromise.

“Both of us,” he decided. “We can eat breakfast together and have lunch separately since you'll be at university and I’ll be at work."

Shizuku's eyes lit up all of a sudden. "We should make our bentos together."

"We'll have to plan that out first too. How about dinner?”

"It can be on me, assuming I’m not on the verge of passing out from exhaustion, that is.” Shizuku laughed. 

“If that’s the case, buy something on your way home. Just...no unhealthy stuff.”

“Of course not! We both need to eat properly, especially you," she leaned her head against the wall. "When's the first Sendai Frogs game?"

"Two weeks from now," he ran a hand through his hair and recalled the given schedule. Shizuku hummed as a response, her eyes lingering on Tsukishima.

"I have to pencil that in right away."

"That's a first." Tsukishima breathed out a quick smirk.

"What?" she shot him a look. "You never wanted me to go to your practice games back in Tokyo, said I'd only distract you."

"I never said that."

"Yes, you did!"

"I did not."

"Did."

"Did not."

"Did."

"Did not."

Shizuku huffed. "Give it up, Kei."

"No," Tsukishima scooped some of the water in his palm and splashed her with it. Shizuku did the same and they ended up in a playful fight between them in the bathtub. It lasted for quite a while before they realized they had yet to eat, opting to make some simple miso ramen for dinner after they got out and dressed.

"It's a good thing we stopped for groceries," Shizuku spoke as she added the bean sprouts in the fragrant broth. "Otherwise we'd have to go out to eat."

Tsukishima lifted a couple of noodles with the chopsticks from the boiling pot and blew on them before bringing them to Shizuku. "See if they're ready." 

"Good enough," she nodded. "So you can cook."

Tsukishima smiled. "Cooking is a life skill—"

"Not a gender thing." Shizuku finished the sentence before turning off the stove. Tsukishima set the table and went to divide the noodles into two even portions. "That was from the Chapter 37 discussion of _Kafka on the Shore._ "

"Feels like a long time ago," Tsukishima let her add the broth in and top them both with the green onion she chopped earlier. They sat down and said their grace before digging into their first proper dinner together. 

"Does the soup taste alright?" Shizuku looked expectantly at Tsukishima as he chewed through his first bite. He continued eating, his gaze focused on the bowl.

"...I like it."

"You do?" Shizuku couldn't seem to hide the grin forming on her face, and Tsukishima wasn't faring any better than she was. 

"Yes, now finish your meal before I take it back."

* * *

A few weeks had passed before Shizuku successfully landed a part-time job at a nearby kindergarten to help with the expenses at home. She knew her dream of becoming a licensed psychologist wasn't going to manifest as a reality after at most five years from now, so she had to settle first for something at the starting line.

With her degree Shizuku had hoped to qualify at least as a counselor, but the agreement she reached with the teacher who interviewed her suggested otherwise.

"An English teacher?" Tsukishima echoed, busy folding his way through his own pile of fresh laundry next to Shizuku on the couch. It was early in the afternoon when she decided to announce the news to him. "Are you sure they read your resume right?"

"They did," she affirmed. "It's just that they were _quote unquote_ 'in need of an English instructor' and ate up what I put in the skills section." 

"Mhm," He hummed, his eyes narrowing and lips slightly jutting out as he did so. Shizuku knew what this look on his face meant, and she wasn't having it.

"じゃ、英語で「お前はすごくうざいなぁ」っとどう言うのか?"*

" _You're so annoying_."

Tsukishima chuckled at this. "So the lessons did pay off."

"Oh, God, it was torture," Shizuku moaned, dramatically covering her her face with the blanket she was folding. "I'm just thankful I can use it now for a job."

"You sure that won't interfere with university?" Tsukishima's voice sounded quiet and serious. His eyes weren't meeting hers as he straightened out the shirt on his lap, neatly folding the sleeves in silence as he waited for her to answer. 

Even though Shizuku knew he was asking about the possibility of her being able to juggle work and her earning her master's degree, she couldn't help but detect the worry seeping through his question. 

"I'll be fine, Kei," she smiled to herself and didn't press further. "Besides, I like kids and my classes end early. I can manage."

* * *

Shizuku started work the following week after the sample teaching session she conducted. She was warmly greeted by a class of no more than twenty pupils, their cheerful voices easing the nervousness that bubbled in her stomach as she stood in front of the colorfully decorated classroom.

The children were fascinated by her height the most, their first question for her being _"why are you so tall, Ishikawa-sensei?"_. Shizuku teared up a little on the inside at the title now attached to her last name.

After Miss Chisaki left them to their own devices, she started by teaching a few simple English words using the flashcards she prepared (with the help of Tsukishima, surprisingly). They were all eager to participate, as almost every time Shizuku moved to another word, an array of small hands were already up in the air, pairs of twinkling eyes hoping that their new teacher would call them on to give the meaning.

Shizuku was also very generous with giving them praise after every correct answer, and by the end of the class, every child in the classroom had a proud look on each of their faces.

She ate lunch with them after, witnessing every carefully-crafted bento that the kids showed to her, saying that their parents were the ones who made it for them. 

Hayato was the first to flaunt his Rilakkuma-esque tamagoyaki, followed by Yuuta and his panda onigiris. Naoko, the shyest of them all, took her chance to show her own lunch box to Shizuku when everyone's turn was done. "Look, my mommy made me octopus-shaped hotdogs!" she grinned, pointing at them. "She even gave them a face!" Naoko paused and looked at Shizuku's bento for a while. "How about Ishikawa- _sensei_? Who made yours?"

Shizuku smiled. "My soulmate made it for me."

Her answer immediately caught the attention of everyone as they sat in the circle, the soft gasps of the children indicating their piqued interests. Mayu, who sat next to her, looked up at Shizuku, mildly confused. "What's a soulmate?"

"They're the people who will be with you no matter what happens."

"Do I have to kiss them?" Hiroshi asked, sounding as if he was going to be sentenced to something he wanted no part of. Shizuku grinned at the question.

"Of course not, not if you don't want to." She leaned forward towards the group. "A soulmate can be anyone — they can be a friend, a classmate, or someone you would never expect."

Ayane peeked from behind Suzuki. "Is your soulmate tall, too?" 

"He is," Shizuku nodded, earning another wave of curious and surprised gasps. She gestured with her hand. "Only a bit taller than me, though."

"I want a tall soulmate too!" Mariko exclaimed. 

"And why's that, Mariko- _chan_?"

"I'm small, that way they could help me reach things from high places!"

Shizuku laughed. "Well, I hope you meet them soon then."

Later that day, Shizuku stopped by Sendai Museum in hopes of bumping into Tsukishima exactly at the end of his shift. She walked along the empty halls after asking directions to the prehistoric section from the front desk, looking around to spot a familiar head of blonde hair.

She soon found Tsukishima by one of the towering fossil displays, his conversation with a coworker ending just as she was able to make her way to him.

"Tsukishima Kei, _Father of the Dinosaurs, the Khal of the Great Marble Floor_ ," Shizuku recited as practiced in her head, approaching him in short, quiet steps. She bit her lip. That suit he always wore to work was going to be the death of her very soon. 

Tsukishima turned around almost immediately when he heard Shizuku's voice, eyes cautiously darting around them to see if there was anyone who had heard his girlfriend's corny imitation of Daenerys' title. 

He blinked at her. "You're such a nerd."

"But I'm your nerd," Shizuku pouted. Tsukishima inched closer and took her hands in his, a habit he subconsciously developed ever since they started dating in college. 

"Why are you here, hm?"

"I saw an udon stall on my way home and I wanted to have dinner with you there."

"No more karaage?" He raised an eyebrow at her.

"Enough with the fried stuff. We're going, come on."

Tsukishima clocked out and went with Shizuku to the stall, located just a few blocks from their apartment. Somehow, this reminded him of the first time he (embarrassed himself) got dragged by her for udon that one time she had chanced upon him while standing in line for the next bus. 

The only difference was the kind of relationship he had with Shizuku back then compared to what they had between them now. He would never outwardly admit the fluttering feeling in his chest whenever he thought about that, however. 

"I miss Bunkyo," Shizuku sighed, her shoulders losing the tension in them. Tsukishima stirred through his bowl and picked up a generous amount of noodles. "You miss Mr. Satoru's stall, you mean?" 

She nodded. "That, too. I miss eating with Yachi there. She works for that ad design company she used to intern for now, did you hear about that?"

"Of course I did," he replied. "What I hear about her I hear first from Yamaguchi. Still absolutely smitten, really."

"Tadashi- _kun_ is so sweet, isn't he?" Shizuku said dreamily, taking momentary sips of the steaming, fragrant broth. "Back in the dorms, I always used to witness Yachi squealing over how adorably thoughtful he was."

There was a pause. 

"Am I not?"

Shizuku's hand that held the _chirirenge_ stopped midair as she looked at Tsukishima upon hearing the question. He didn't dare lift and turn his head, realizing what just came out of his own mouth. He was lucky she wasn't in the mood to tease him for it.

"What?"

"Nothing."

Except Shizuku actually heard it — she just wanted to rile him up and see if she could get him to say it again. She only dismissed it with a laugh and finished the contents of her spoon, diving it right back into her bowl. 

Because in her head, the answer was always 'yes'.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally got to update! A typhoon hit our country just this week so electricity was gone for a day and I wasn't able to wrap this chapter up. 
> 
> I'm also thinking about extending until chapter 30, but it's still up for my consideration. As always, thank you for reading and stay safe!


	24. Linger (I)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> t/w: one (1) mention of sex 
> 
> Song featured in this chapter:
> 
> [Gen Hoshino - Ain't Nobody Know](https://youtu.be/s4iw6WvWX4s)

Tsukishima buried his chin under the collar of his jacket, the fabric almost looking like his personal cocoon as he sat watching the ongoing game on the court overlooked by the stands. He pressed the power button of his phone to check the time — something he had been doing since he had settled down with Shizuku and Akiteru after they arrived induced by his growing anxiety. His game wasn’t until after another forty-five minutes. 

“You can still sleep a bit if you want,” Shizuku suggested, giving him a small smile as she looked up from her watch. He didn’t answer and went back to watching the match in front of him.

“That was a cut shot and the blocker didn’t even see it,” Tsukishima grumbled to himself, brows furrowing at the observation as he ignored Shizuku’s attempt to calm him down. Tsukishima knew that if he didn’t pull himself together as early as now he would be suffering the same fate as the blocker he judged, but he couldn’t, not with the noise of the audience buzzing in his ears like sirens, and it made him feel like he was processing too much stimulus. 

Tsukishima's eyes suddenly darted to his hand and he noticed that he was too caught up in his thoughts that he wasn’t even able to wrap them up. Reaching for his bag, he rummaged through the contents, his frustration gradually taking over him as he approached the conclusion that he forgot his tape.

“I have it,” Shizuku brushed his sleeve to distract him from his own annoyance. She opened her palm and signalled Tsukishima to give her his hand so she could do the binding herself. Being a former blocker made her adept at doing such a thing, and she had done it frequently enough to know how it should be done even on another person’s fingers.

Shizuku unrolled some of the material to work her way through Tsukishima’s hands and made sure to take her time so as not to agitate him further. She knew it worked since he seemed to have calmed down a bit, judging by how he voiced no qualms as he let her do this for him. 

“Please don’t scream like a crazy person once I’m on court.” Tsukishima said, his voice surprisingly calm and quiet, eyes barely meeting Shizuku's. He saw her smile a little at his request.

“I won’t do anything you’re uncomfortable with,” she cut off the tape after having secured the last end. “But you do know you can’t _ultimately_ force Akiteru- _nii chan_ to not do that, right?”

He sighed, the corners of his lips raising just a quiver. “Unfortunately, yeah.”

Shizuku took her chance to lace her fingers with Tsukishima’s as they sat next to each other, and for the first time, he didn’t flinch at the contact, nor make a clever quip that was meant to discourage Shizuku’s act of silent affection. Tsukishima felt a wave of relief wash over him, his fingers hesitantly slipping themselves in the spaces between hers. 

Sendai Frogs ended up winning today’s game with an eight-point lead. Throughout the whole time, Shizuku was on her toes, obsessively analyzing each play with Akiteru, who would periodically shoot straight up from his seat to cheer his younger brother on. She couldn’t help but laugh every time Tsukishima turned around to look at the stands and give Akiteru a glare.

After both teams had thanked each other, Shizuku went to meet Tsukishima, Koganegawa, and Kyoutani at the lobby of the gymnasium. Akiteru had suggested they all eat together as a celebration and went straight to a _yakiniku_ restaurant just a ten-minute drive from the gymnasium.

It took every fiber of Shizuku's being to not tackle her boyfriend in a hug when she came up to him after the game. As they settled in the booth, she squeezed his hand and smiled, her eyes forming soft crescents — exactly the way Tsukishima had since adored.

“Congratulations.”

Even though his exhaustion was there to blame, Tsukishima knew that that wasn't the reason why his knees felt funny even as he was sitting down. He could only hum out a response, internally cursing at how he was unable to hide his bashfulness. "Thank you." Tsukishima kept his voice small and returned the gesture.

Their little exchange, however, didn't go unnoticed.

“Ah, I wish I could meet my soulmate soon,” Koganegawa bemoaned, enviously pouting at the scene in front of him. 

Kyoutani wasn’t any better. "Imagine winning the volleyball game _and_ at life," he said flatly, as he watched the meat sizzling on the grill. He gave Shizuku a glance. "You know, you really should have given Tsukishima a knuckle sandwich when he came back from Miyagi."

"Oh, I _did_ contemplate that," Shizuku covered her mouth with her free hand as she laughed. 

Akiteru joined in on the conversation. "Had I not convinced Kei to go back to Tokyo, he wouldn't be holding Shizuku's hand under the table right now."

Despite being called out, Tsukishima merely sighed and rolled his eyes, not letting go of Shizuku at all.

“How was the ice bath?” Shizuku looked up from her book as Tsukishima padded into her room, already in his pajamas. He had asked to sleep with her that night, keeping the sentiment of not wanting to sleep in an empty bed after the exhaustion of today. 

“Phenomenal,” he answered dryly. The mattress dipped as he laid down on the spot given to her by Shizuku, his arms uncharacteristically reaching for her. “Now warm me up, please.”

Shizuku let him bury his nose in the crook of her neck, his hands finding purchase on her waist under the fluffy duvet they were nestled in. She knew it wouldn’t be too long until he starts softly snoring away. Tsukishima always found it easy to sleep — a fact she had learned over time that only proved to be true when she realized that sleeping beside him eased him more than anything ever could. 

“Thank you for coming earlier.” He mumbled, against her skin.

Shizuku reached up to play with his hair “I wouldn’t miss it for anything else,” she replied, giving him a small kiss on his forehead. 

* * *

After picking up ingredients for dinner, Shizuku went home, grinning as she clutched the bag where her students’ crayon drawings from today’s class were safely stored. The previous week, she had them illustrate three things in their homes and asked them to write the names in English, and the children all excitedly passed their homework to her before she left the kindergarten.

Shizuku changed into her house clothes before preparing for their meal tonight. Grilled mackerel and kombu soup was written on the small whiteboard they hung under the clock, purchased not too long after she and Tsukishima started living together so they could keep track of everything in the house; from meal plans to short reminders they had for each other.

She put on her earphones as she stirred the bubbling kombu soup, pressing shuffle on their shared playlist. Gen Hoshino’s _Ain’t Nobody Know_ began to play, drowning out any noise from her surroundings. From time to time Shizuku would glance at the mackerel she was grilling, anticipating for the light to go off while she busied herself with perfecting the taste of the soup in front of her. 

Absentmindedly, Shizuku moved along to the beat of the song, comforted in the knowledge that there was no one else who could see her as she stood in front of the stove.

That was, until the front door swung open when Tsukishima finally arrived. While he slipped off his shoes, he heard a song that progressively increased in volume as he padded through the short genkan to Shizuku, recognizing that the song was something he had introduced to her just a few weeks ago.

Tsukishima bit back a grin when he saw her in the kitchen, dancing by the counter and singing out the lyrics, too. He laughed softly to himself before wrapping his arms around her.

Shizuku jumped at the sudden contact, sighing in relief when she saw it was Tsukishima. She lowered the volume of the song and removed one bud from her ear. 

“How long have you been here?” she asked, still out of breath from being surprised.

“Long enough to see you performing in front of the kombu.”

Her cheeks heated up a bit at his response, but she quickly brushed the slight embarrassment away and turned to give Tsukishima a kiss on the jaw as a way of welcoming him back home, mumbling to him to get changed as the food was going to be ready soon.

Dinner was quiet. Shizuku did most of the talking, however, having sensed almost immediately that Tsukishima wasn’t in the mood despite how he greeted her a while ago. He listened actively at least, humming and nodding every once in a while as he let her tell him about her day.

“Hayato was as lively as usual,” Shizuku smiled, now halfway through her soup. “Although he did make Mayu cry while they were playing — they got into a little argument about whether witches existed or not — I guess Mayu had just watched _Kiki’s Delivery Service_ , I picked up on the references the moment she…”

She trailed off when she noticed that Tsukishima was giving her _the_ look — that soft, fond look he always had on whenever she rambled on about even the most random things she experienced or had learned within the day. She knew she would never coax the reason from Tsukishima directly, but she already has a faint idea of what it could possibly be.

They stored away the leftovers and did the dishes together right after. Tsukishima stood beside Shizuku, wiping the tablewares dry and putting them away after she rinsed the foam off of them. It was at times like these when they chose to bask in each other’s presence, and it was always cathartic for them both even if they were doing a routinary household chore. 

Shizuku only asked about what went on during Tsukishima’s day when they were already in the bathtub later that night. She popped the question while she was lathering the shampoo in his hair, making sure that he was relaxed enough to answer her.

“It’s museum policy,” Tsukishima tutted. The muscles on his back were tense as his voice started getting more firm. “No one is allowed to touch the artifacts. I don’t get why that woman saw it fit that she complained about it to me when her son got scolded by one of the staff.”

“Did you explain it to her, at least?”

“Of course, I did!” He scoffed. “She just had to make a huge fuss about it to my department manager, who was just as appalled as I was with the ‘complaint’ she tried to make. Her son broke visitor protocol. That’s that.”

“God, what a Karen.”

“She looked more like a Susan to me.” Tsukishima looked over his shoulder. 

Shizuku laughed. “We should have names for women like those in Japanese, don’t you think?”

“Like Kaori and...Satoko.”

“Karen can be a Japanese name, though?”

Tsukishima rolled his eyes. “Whatever her name is, I just hope she doesn’t show her face again.”

Before going to bed, Tsukishima hugged Shizuku to his chest, whispering a ‘thank you’ for helping him de-stress. Shizuku reminded him again to not think about it anymore, and that he shouldn’t let it discourage him from continuing his work at the museum.

“Sleep with me tonight,” he asked, slightly parting from the embrace to look at her. Shizuku pouted. “I need to work on my paper.”

Tsukishima let go of her in defeat, opting to just give her a kiss on the forehead and wish her good night as he turned to enter his own room. Shizuku went in hers right away, stretching her arms before plopping down in front of her laptop to start the first chapter, readying herself for hours of work.

She failed to keep track of time however, and it was already two in the morning when she finished proofreading the document. She turned off her device and flopped on the mattress, soon finding that she was unable to fall asleep after having tossed and turned for a good ten minutes. After a short while of pondering her next course of action, Shizuku kicked off her blanket and exited her room, knocking on Tsukishima’s bedroom door in hopes of him still being awake.

It opened to reveal a yawning Tsukishima with his glasses haphazardly put on, a single sleepy moan coming out of his throat to ask her what she needed — a sight Shizuku recalled to have first seen in the dorms when she had to borrow a screwdriver for a locked door. 

She bit her lip. “I’ve come to accept your offer.”

There was a short pause. 

“Don’t you think it’s a bit too late to have sex?”

“What? That’s not what you offered!”

“I’m kidding,” He gave her a lazy triumphant smile, knowing he had caught her off guard. Shizuku made a face at him as he moved aside to let her in, following her suit as she situated herself in his bed. Tsukishima was quick to wrap his arms around her. “Cuddle me back to sleep or I’m kicking you out.”

Shizuku sighed, obliging to his childish, drowsy demand, immediately finding that sleep came easier as she let herself be surrounded by his warmth.

* * *

"This was in the mail today," Tsukishima walked over to where Shizuku was in the living room, sliding an envelope across the surface of the coffee table. She looked up from her laptop and reached for the sleeve. 

Tsukishima didn't respond and merely watched as Shizuku carefully picked at the wax seal. Soon, a subtle floral scent wafted when she pulled out what looked to be an invitation.

"Huh, my cousin Kiyoshi is getting married." 

Out of curiosity, Tsukishima shuffled closer to Shizuku to read the contents of the letter himself. "Why didn't you open this sooner?"

He shrugged. "I assumed it was just for you."

"Well," Shizuku tapped her finger on the names of those invited, biting back a grin. "I'm afraid it's also for you."

Sure enough, the words _'Shizuku and her Soulmate'_ were written at the addressee section, complete in a fancy text face and gold ink. 

Tsukishima cleared his throat, eyes darting somewhere else. "We don't have enough time for a kimono fitting if it's this Saturday."

"We don't need to, Kei. Although I do need to go shopping because," Shizuku let out a sheepish laugh. "I don't own a dress." She folded and slipped the paper back in its envelope. She studied his face for a moment. "Are you nervous?"

Tsukishima both hated and loved how he was such an open book to her. Meeting Kazuo and Suzuna was challenging enough for him to make a good impression, and attending this wedding only meant that his audience was going to be much bigger and tougher.

"No," he breathed out and tugged on Shizuku's arm as he stood up from the couch, prompting her that they needed to start cooking tonight's dinner.

Shizuku met up with Tsukishima outside the museum the following day and headed to the nearest shopping mall in Sendai City. The density of the people here was a little less than those of the malls in Tokyo, and it certainly was a new sight for the both of them after having gotten used to the bustling city they lived in for almost four years.

"A word of warning," Shizuku started when they neared the department store. "I am extremely indecisive so we may have to spend a little over two hours here."

"That's exactly why I'm here." Tsukishima snickered.

The whole time Shizuku was scouring through the many racks and hangers, Tsukishima stood by the side with his arms crossed, complete with Shizuku's tote bag temporarily hooked around his shoulder as he watched her try on everything.

Although it may have seemed like Tsukishima was the one making the decision for her, the only reason for this was because of Shizuku's obvious discomfort at every dress she wore, and it didn't seem right to him to just sit idly by as the saleslady tried to coerce his girlfriend into buying something she didn't feel at ease with.

They ended up exiting that part of the mall after the seventh dress, opting to walk around a bit before they started their search again.

"God," Shizuku groaned. "Why did I have to be over a hundred and seventy centimeters tall?"

"Doesn't feel so good sometimes, huh?" Tsukishima peered at her. 

Shizuku made a face at him in fake annoyance. "If I end up with nothing at the end of this day, I'm going to literally buy a suit, wear that, and my relatives can go say whatever they want." She crossed her arms, jokingly declaring that daring proposition.

"I'd love to see you in one but unfortunately there's a dress code in the invitation," he reasoned. "And I don't think you should be giving your grandmother a heart attack at the reception."

Shizuku laughed. "Grandma Ryoko is perfectly healthy. Besides, she'd tell me I look great anyway."

"What about that?"

Tsukishima nodded towards another dress — a white mesh chiffon midi one — the image of Shizuku wearing it was already burning itself in his head. 

"Okay, now you're just making fun of me," she snorted and looked back at him.

When he didn't respond with a quip, the grin on her face instantly faded. "Are you serious?"

In a matter of seconds, Tsukishima was already pulling her by the wrist, inside and towards the nearest attendant. Once the saleslady handed Shizuku her size, Tsukishima stood by to wait for her outside the fitting room.

"Just try it on. If it doesn't feel right, I will personally take you to where I bought my suit for work."

Tsukishima drummed his fingers on his leg, eyes trained on the small room where Shizuku had disappeared into. He soon heard her call out to him, and he was at the door in an instant. She pushed it open slowly to confirm if he was there.

"Can you tie this for me? I can't reach it." 

With Shizuku's back facing him, Tsukishima took glances at the mirror as he tied the strings at the topmost section of the dress, which needed to hold together the mesh that allowed her bare shoulders and arms to be seen through. 

"I like it," Shizuku breathed out, her face equally flushed when she noticed Tsukishima's eyes lingering on her. 


	25. Linger (II)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song featured in this chapter:
> 
> [Mamerico - A Border](https://youtu.be/fRI_fPXo6pM)

Saturday came and Tsukishima soon found himself in front of the bathroom mirror, frowning deeply to himself when his tie didn't seem to fit right in under the collar of his dress shirt. He had absolutely no idea why he had been fumbling around with the piece of clothing for a while now when he knew perfectly well how to fasten it on his own before ultimately giving up to heave out a sigh as his arms fell to his sides. He was nervous. He had been since breakfast, frankly; he couldn’t get the idea out of his mind that in a few hours, he was going to meet Shizuku’s paternal family. Meeting Kazuo and Suzuna on their graduation day was a task daunting enough for him, much more establishing a good impression of himself on them. But today, Tsukishima had an audience of more than two. A much larger, more potentially difficult audience.

The sudden knock on the door pulled him out of his thoughts, prompting him to call out to Shizuku that it was okay to enter. 

“I know I left them here...” she mumbled to herself as soon as she was granted access inside, scanning the counter for the pair of silver teardrop earrings that Tsukishima had noticed a while ago when he entered. Shizuku stayed there as she put the jewelry on, eyes on the mirror while she stood next to him, clad in the same white dress that Tsukishima had helped her pick out earlier this week.

Shizuku’s hands slowly retreated from her lobe when she noticed the mishap that was her boyfriend and the small scuffle with his tie, laughter softly escaping from her lips as she held and maneuvered him by the shoulders so he could face her. Tsukishima, too annoyed at this point, didn’t even try to resist.

“Is this supposed to be a four in hand or a really confused oriental?” Shizuku smiled endearingly, undoing the previous knot so she could remake it into a neater one. Tsukishima’s sudden inability to perform such a simple task of tying his own tie already told her that he was nervous about having to meet her family, even though he had initially been denying such since the day they got the invitation. Shizuku didn’t dare to verbalize her observation, however; not after noticing with a flicker of her eyes this subtle, steady peach color that was spreading steadily across Tsukishima’s cheeks.

Tsukishima only huffed and looked away, although eventually he resorted to watching Shizuku as she quickly and neatly looped the black material under the collar of his dress shirt, pulling and tightening it comfortably around his neck. She rested her hands on her chest to give him a once-over before turning to leave the bathroom, reminding him that they needed to leave on time for the ceremony. 

* * *

The Kondos, who occupied the whole right wing of the pews in the chapel, began silently shedding tears at the sight of Tomiko walking down the aisle, which had only intensified as she and Kiyoshi recited their vows to each other. Shizuku was almost starting to believe that the crying was contagious upon seeing her normally stoic Aunt Iri becoming affected the same way, and heck, even Shizuku herself felt that familiar lump forming in her throat as the couple slipped the rings into each other’s fingers. She was half-waiting for Tsukishima to begin elbowing her and teasing her for being so mushy over a mere ceremony — like he always did whenever he’d catch her crying over a book or a movie — but his harmless quip never came. Shizuku looked up at Tsukishima, only for her gaze to be brought down to where their hands were linked to each other as they watched the completion of the vow. 

During the reception, however, the prior solemn mood was quickly replaced by loud chattering and music as everyone got situated in the event hall of , all religiously decorated according to the mauve motif, down to the fabrics, flowers, and the centerpieces of each table. 

That was also when Tsukishima was finally introduced to the Ishikawas. He had met almost all of Shizuku’s relatives even before they were prompted into the hall, ranging from the most distant aunts and uncles down to the youngest cousins. By the time they had been given their table number, Tsukishima had deduced that Shizuku’s stature could have very well come from her father’s side, as nearly anyone who stood close to his height could be identified as his girlfriend’s relative. 

There were still two people left for him to meet, however.

“Is this him?” Grandma Ryoko could only offer half a greeting to Shizuku so she could adjust her glasses when she noticed Tsukishima standing beside her granddaughter. He bowed at a few of Shizuku’s other relatives who were at the table before Grandpa Izumi prompted them to sit down so they could talk to each other better. The scrutinizing stare from Shizuku’s grandmother was nothing short of daunting, but Tsukishima had seen that kind of gaze before — it was the kind of look his own girlfriend always had on her face whenever she was typing away at her laptop, and at this point, he was already making the conclusion that even that was a hereditary trait in their family. 

“Such a very handsome boy you are,” Ryoko finally mused out loud. She gestured to her granddaughter, albeit really obvious. “You know, she was always so eager to meet you.”

Shizuku was quick to protest. “I was not!” 

“Then what were you doing snooping around in that high school with Ichika _-chan_? You were so excited, even jumping up and down in front of me when you came home that day, weren’t you?”

Tsukishima raised a brow at Shizuku. “Snooping around? In Karasuno?” 

“Ichika and I were on our way home when I heard music,” the small pout on her face never left as she answered, giving into full defeat. “I followed it until we had to hide behind a wall of your gym.”

“Why didn’t you come out?”

“Because,” Shizuku stressed. “Getting in trouble for trespassing would mean we wouldn’t get to participate in the Spring Interhigh.”

Tsukishima let out a small “ah”, the same shit-eating grin making its appearance yet again. 

Grandma Ryoko spent the a good percentage of the reception giving Tsukishima details about Shizuku’s youth, and by the time they had finished eating, he had come to take away three important points: one, that Shizuku preferred scrambled eggs over sunny side ups; two, that she talks in her sleep; and three, that staying mad is something that Shizuku was always so bad at.

“Although, that doesn’t mean you should underestimate my granddaughter,” Ryoko added. “Shizuku has a good soul, but when she feels like she’s being taken advantage of, she tends to get closed off. Very much like her father, my son Kazuo.” She gazed intently at Tsukishima, who had been listening to her this whole time. “Take care of Shizuku, alright? That girl gets too stressed for her own good,” Ryoko laughed. “Her stubbornness is clearly from Suzuna’s side of the family.”

* * *

“Why did you never tell me that you liked your eggs that way?” Tsukishima asked as he tossed around the components of the gyudon in the pan, addressing Shizuku who was busy setting the table behind him. She paused to check the tonjiru bubbling in the pot and leaned against the counter. 

“I ended up liking sunny side ups when you made them for my bento, so I never brought it up.” 

“Now I’m gonna scramble them, just to spite you.” Tsukishima breathed out a laugh as he turned off the stove, dodging out of the way when Shizuku attempted to land a smack on his shoulder. She sighed and only helped him serve the gyudon bowls so they could start eating.

Their conversation that night revolved around the things that had happened during the reception. It had lifted the weight on Tsukishima’s shoulders when Shizuku assured him that her family liked him, and that her grandparents even suggested that the two of them should consider heading down to Hyogo for a vacation if they had the chance.

“I thought Grandma Ryoko and Grandpa Izumi were also from Miyagi?” Tsukishima looked up from his bowl. Shizuku reached over to take off the small grain of rice from near the corner of his lips before she answered. 

“No, they’re from Hyogo.”

Tsukishima hummed. “Ah, so that explains the accent.”

Shizuku nodded, smiling. “Dad and his siblings moved to different places to study, but my grandparents stayed there. It was when I was born when they agreed to live in Miyagi — you know, to take care of me.” She paused as if she was recollecting something. “Didn’t you go against Inarizaki back then? I heard they’re from Hyogo.”

“The Miya Twins, yeah. I managed to cut off one of the quicks that they pulled — I’ve had enough of those from Hinata and Kageyama,” he shook his head, a smile hinting at his features as he recalled the match. “And they used to have this annoying middle blocker too.”

Shizuku giggled. “I’m sure he was just as annoyed at you as you were with him.”

Tsukishima rolled his eyes, finishing off the rest of his gyudon. “I guess I didn’t want anyone else to beat me at my own game.”

Their conversation didn’t end even until they were washing the dishes, with Tsukishima’s playlist in the background as they worked. Shizuku spent most of the silence in-between their stories wracking her brain to find out when he had begun listening to Mamerico, since their music was completely different from his usual preferences. Still, she couldn’t help but hum out loud the vocals of Maya in _A Border_. The smile on her boyfriend’s face stayed undetected as he continued rinsing the tablewares.

Shizuku had a faraway look in her eyes as she wiped dry and put away the last bowl and drinking glass that he handed to her, although still humming along to the song. She bit her lower lip.

“You know, if you asked me to marry you, I’d say yes.”

The faucet shutting off was in time with Tsukishima turning to look at her. He took a few seconds to study her, arms crossed over his chest as he anticipated for her to break into a teasing grin. It never came.

He raised a brow at her. “Are you sure?”

“Well, I mean,” Shizuku stammered, a blush creeping on her cheeks as she averted her eyes to the towel that she hung over the rack. “You’re already giving me that look.”

Tsukishima chuckled. “What look?”

“ _That_ look,” she pointed at him. “I’ve been seeing it more frequently, especially on that day when I tried on that dress I wore earlier. I’d know, because that’s how Dad looks at my mom.” Shizuku matched the soft smile that rested on Tsukishima’s lips. “Like he’s so in love with her.”

“Shizuku, if you keep this up, “ he cleared his throat, taking a few steps closer to where she was. “We’re going to have to finish this in the bedroom.”

There was a pause.

“Cuddles?”

“Yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update: Feb. 18, 2021
> 
> If you are reading this, please be aware that I am currently editing the previous chapters of this fic (to fill in plot holes, add necessary details, and improve the story continuity overall). I post updates on my works on Tumblr as I go on there a lot. You can find me there with the same username and search for the post with the tag "rin's stuff: writing updates", or you can access [ the actual post ](https://plutorine.tumblr.com/post/639905205849358336/ichidaiji-update-a-few-other-things) with your account.
> 
> Don't worry: I am working on the last five chapters as well, and I'll publish them as soon as I am finished with the editing process.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading and stay safe! <3


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